


overboard

by bapaldeul



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, elite student!jihoon, elite/ivy league schools, swimmer!daniel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-30
Updated: 2019-06-12
Packaged: 2019-08-10 02:39:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 60,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16461842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bapaldeul/pseuds/bapaldeul
Summary: in an elites-only school where students wear only branded clothes and fake smiles are conditioned to survive on their own, jihoon finds himself drowning in the same problems over and over again.it is only until sub-par student kang daniel with the dreams of becoming the world's next greatest olympic swimmer dives into the sea crawling with sharks and shows jihoon that maybe all he needs is to learn how to breathe underwater.or: a nielwink elite college au





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> it has been MONTHS since my last chaptered fic???
> 
> i missed this too - so i'm trying something out, i hope you guys can stick around :D
> 
> just in case, here are some disclaimers:  
> \- elite school stereotypes are hugely dramatized here. it's a fanfic!!  
> \- inaccuracies of swimmers may be portrayed.

In an environment where your closest friends are also your greatest enemies, Jihoon is only looking for one thing: a way out of this place - and he wants it  _ fast _ .

 

At first,  _ it  _ had seemed like a place where someone like him would thrive like a lion in the wild. He could be king of the forest; where everyone else would cower in fear when he strode down the posh, and spotless hallways. 

 

The only problem? He was living in a jungle where there were only predators.

 

No prey.

 

He knows that everyone is a hyena; only looking for him to show a sign of weakness for them to pounce upon him and take his place. That is why everyday, he puts on his perfectly ironed shirt, slips his legs into his altered and tight-fitting jeans, and then wears the brightest smile he can possibly manage at eight in the morning.

 

“Hey, _princess_.”

 

Jihoon rolls his eyes. If anyone else had said it, he would promptly make their life a living hell. Anything was possible when you were well-known in this college. But alas, it is only Kim Donghan, in his loose gucci white shirt coupled with designer jeans. 

 

“Bored of your Balenciaga items already?” Jihoon scoffs, eyeing Donghan from head to toe. Just last week, maybe even five days ago, Donghan had made school news when he had received a parcel from an unidentified sender full of branded items that he had proudly wore without shame.

 

“I gave them to Taehyun,” Donghan shrugs. “I got bored!”

 

“If only you got bored with your video games as quickly as you do with your clothes and your obsession with one-night stands,” Jihoon lets slip without any menace as they make their way quickly to their first class of the day.

 

Donghan’s too busy typing away on his phone to care about the jab Jihoon takes at him.

 

Jihoon had decided that Donghan was okay. Not a perfect ten, but not a snitch or a snake either. They had entered Monumental College together six months ago. Both had done exceptionally in high school and quickly qualified for an ivy league college with their numerous other achievements.

 

“Hyunbin is holding a party tonight at his place,” Donghan says when he is done being anti-social and finally remembers that he is walking with an actual human. “Are you going to come?”

 

“I need to finish my notes,” Jihoon says.

 

“Come on,” Donghan urges as they approach their classroom. Their professor is approaching the room as well, so they quicken their pace. The professors here are very strict about tardiness.

 

“There are people from other colleges coming down as well.”

 

That catches Jihoon’s attention. Although his notes are very important for him to stay ahead of what his professors are teaching about in class; he has come to realise that there is only one thing that can dethrone knowledge.

 

Connections.

 

It is of utmost importance that Jihoon keeps people close to him. More importantly; people that will help him in the future. Going to ivy league school parties have become a part of his life, whether he likes it or not. It is where he has met many more valuable people, all saved in his handphone with a mind-boggling number of more than 500 contacts.

 

“Tell Hyunbin I will be there,” Jihoon says as a concluding remark when they settle down in their designated seat. Now he’s going to have to pull out something presentable for the party. He can think about that later. He has more important things to focus on now.

 

Like how the seat in front of him usually occupied by their college’s star student, Kim Chungha, is empty. Jihoon knows Chungha - she would never compromise her future for a speck of dirt on her record. Lateness is taboo in their books.

 

“Good morning, class.”

 

Jihoon pushes the questions to the back of his mind and forces himself to listen to his professor. Drifting off even for a few milliseconds would mean that he would fall behind in this invisible race.

 

“Before we begin, I would like to-”

 

“I’m sorry I’m late!”

 

All the heads in the classroom turn towards the interrupter; wondering who could ever be so daring to cut off the professor mid-sentence.

 

For a moment, Jihoon wants to laugh out loud.

 

The boy at the door is drenched in sweat, panting as if he has just ran a marathon. He takes a deep breath, composing himself before he bows quickly at the irked professor, sputtering, “The bus broke down and the next one was full; so I ran here. I kind of got lost because, first days, you know?”

 

The professor, Mr Choi, straightens his tie.

 

“I do not  _ know _ , Mr Kang. I quite like to make sure that I am on time for classes, no matter what may come up. Here we believe that knowledge is power, and how else can you ensure that you can be powerful if you cannot even show up for class on time?”

 

The boy does not back down, instead, Jihoon thinks he sees for the first time he has entered this school -  _ life  _ in the other’s eyes. Life like a blazing fire when he says:

 

“If something completely out of my control happens again, I will make sure to run here twice as fast with my long legs and be here before you can even buy your morning coffee.”

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

Fuck.

 

He is so fucked.

 

He is fifteen minutes late for his first class in this new school and he’d just talked back to his professor who looks like he wants to throw Daniel out of his class any second now.

 

“Sit, Kang,” the professor finally says.

 

Daniel walks up to the only empty seat in the class, the second from the front. Wherever he goes and whatever he does, he feels like he’s being watched. The eyes following him are not curious ones, instead they are cautious; sizing him up.

 

“Actually, stay standing. Give us a quick thirty second introduction of yourself.”

 

Ah, ice breakers.

 

Though the ice in here is not thin. In fact, the atmosphere is chilly. He shivers at the mere thought of everyone focusing their attention on him. None of the people are smiling. It’s as if they’re just waiting for Daniel to mess up.

 

“Um,” he clears his throat, still breathing heavily from running. “Hi. My name is Kang Daniel. Not a foreigner. I think I’m older than most of you - twenty two, but I entered school late. You can drop the formalities with me though, after all, we’re all friends, right?”

 

He tries to smile, but all he is met with is stone cold expressions, including the professor.

 

Does no one here have a sense of humour?

 

Granted, Daniel is not the funniest person on earth.

 

Would it hurt to at least give him a sympathetic smile, though? It seems like even a small smile would crack the porcelain faces in this room.

 

“Thank you, Kang. I’m sure you’ll get acquainted soon with your… friends. May I remind you that you will only gain respect if you respect me and my time. No more coming in late anymore, or I may have to hand out some demerit points, thank you. Now let’s get started.”

 

_ God _ , everyone here is so stiff, Daniel feels like he’s in a boring conference with only grown ups.

 

“And so as we were discussing in our previous lesson - the main perspectives of psychology. Can someone please name me some?”

 

A flurry of hands rise into the air.

 

Daniel mouths a “ _ what _ ” to himself as he flips through his textbook, still struggling to find the page as a girl from the back recites words he doesn’t understand as if she is reading off her palm. He turns back, whispering, “Hey, what page are we on?”

 

He is only met with a pair of annoyed eyes.

 

The boy behind him does not put down his hand even when the girl has recited all of the perspectives and the professor acknowledges her answers.

 

“Yes, Jihoon?”

 

The boy, who now has a name, ignores Daniel’s question and stands up straight, “Adding onto Yoojung’s answer…”

 

And then he talks about something Daniel doesn’t understand.

 

“Very good, Jihoon. I can see that you’ve studied beyond the textbook.”

 

Jihoon smiles proudly back at the professor; the first person to do that since Daniel has walked into this class.

 

“Hey, what page are we on?” Daniel whispers harshly again, aware of how much he has fallen behind.

 

“Kang Daniel and Park Jihoon, kindly refrain from talking in class, thank you,” the professor clears his throat very unprofessionally. Daniel huffs defeatedly, turning back to his seat when he realises that a certain Park Jihoon is most certainly  _ not  _ going to lend him a helping hand.

 

So much for being one of the top ivy league schools.

 

“I was just wondering which page we were at so I could keep up with the lesson,” Daniel mutters under his breath, but apparently his professor has supersonic hearing.

 

“Page 104,” the professor clicks his tongue. “Though I wouldn’t worry too much. You only need to catch up on… two months worth of content. Good luck, Kang.”

 

Sniggers sound from the back of the class and even the professor tries to hide his very obvious smile. Daniel ignores them all. He only grips the ballpoint pen harder in his hand, so hard he’s sure there will be red marks after.

 

“Now… back to  _ more important things. _ ”

 

Daniel swears he will catch up.

 

He has never been the first one to dive into the waters - but he makes sure that he will be the first to touch the finish line.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

“That was harsh,” Donghan whispers into Jihoon’s ear when the lesson is over. He packs his books neatly into his bag, careful not to damage its ends.

 

Jihoon lifts his head.

 

“What was?”

 

“The way professor treated that  _ new guy _ \- Kang Daniel?” Donghan wrinkles his nose at the figure still sitting in front of Jihoon. He’s been to used to staring at the back of Chungha’s too perfect jet black hair; it feels strange to have a mop of light brown take its place today.

 

Though Donghan is usually a pretty smart guy, he tends to have no filter on his big mouth and no sense of personal space.

 

Jihoon nudges Donghan to shut up when Kang Daniel looks back at them - more specifically right at Jihoon. He gulps.

 

He didn’t mean to ignore the new student earlier. He just freezes up every time someone other than the teacher asks him a question. No one in class asks each other questions; there are just too many things that they are secretly afraid of.

 

“ _ Thanks a lot _ , by the way,” Daniel scoffs before gathering his books in his arms and throwing them into his flimsy backpack. Jihoon flinches at the thought of the pages getting bent.

 

“Wow,” Donghan shakes his head in amusement. “Kids from the neighbourhood are indeed different.”

 

Jihoon crosses his arms, annoyed at the new student from giving him attitude.

 

No one dares to cross him - it’s akin to suicide.

 

“Neighbourhood, huh?” Jihoon echoes. “Another lucky one on scholarship?”

 

Lucky; in the more ironic way. The last time their school had accepted a student on scholarship and not on merit; things had turned out disastrous. They were too different, almost from two completely different worlds.

 

Donghan squeezes his shoulder, “Come on, he’s none of your business. We should get going before the cafeteria gets squeezy. You know how Mondays are like.”

 

Though Jihoon does not argue, it’s safe to say they both know that this is not over.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

Daniel breathes again.

 

Finally.

 

It is ironic because usually, people hold their breath when they are underwater.

 

For himself, he’s never felt more alive than now, submerged under the crystal clean waters of this suffocating school.

 

_ No _ , he corrects himself. This is no school; this is a prison that houses teenagers who have been brainwashed to be the best - or they won’t survive. Daniel knows that from the moment he walks through the front doors he is at the bottom of the food chain. In this place, he will always stand alone.

 

When his chest tightens, he reemerges.

 

“Hey.”

 

He doesn’t expect to see a face staring back at him when he carelessly rubs the water off his face. Straining his eyes, Daniel makes out a pale face, colourless eyes and small, plush lips.

 

“Who are you?”

 

“I’m Kang Daniel,” Daniel replies shortly. “Who are  _ you _ ?”

 

“This is my practice time,” the face cleverly avoids his question though it is clear he takes no pleasure in doing so. “So please, leave now.”

 

“Do you need a whole olympic pool to practice in?” 

 

It’s not the smartest question but it is a burning one.

 

Though a loner, Daniel decides he will not be a loser.

 

“Move it,” his voice is soft yet stern.

 

“I just need fifteen more minutes to complete my laps for the day,” Daniel snaps, not backing down. Has no one in this school been taught some basic courtesy and respect? He has half a mind to march to the head office and demand that they at least have an ethics class made compulsory for their students.

 

The face rolls his eyes.

 

“This is no place for amateurs like you. Leave now or you will regret it.”

 

“-is something wrong here?”

 

Oh great. Rude Swimmer’s gang is here, Daniel thinks as four other boys in smart white button up shirts and altered pants stroll into the arena like they own this place.

 

They probably are rich enough to own it anyway. They probably have one olympic pool each back at home.

 

“You’re the new kid, aren’t you? Scholarship kid.”

 

“Yeah, that’s me,” Daniel acknowledges. “If you’re here to lecture me about giving up this ginormous pool for Mr Phelps Junior here, save it. I have a few more laps to complete and I’m sure my self-training will not obstruct him.”

 

“Unless of course, you five are a synchronized swim team. Then, by all means,” Daniel adds with a smirk.

 

_God_ , he is in so much trouble now.

 

He’s made nothing but enemies today.

 

One of the new boys just laugh, loudly. His laughter echoes in the huge and empty arena.

 

“You’re funny. Don’t worry, Minhyun just gets antsy when someone uses the pool during his self-proclaimed training time. Don’t take it personally, he’s a really nice guy! Popular, too,” he ruffles the pale swimmer’s hair.

 

Minhyun,  _ huh _ .

 

“I’m Dongho. One of my friends is having a party tonight. You should come.”

 

Parties - Daniel has never really been into those.

 

“You’re one of us now, Daniel,” Dongho smiles and offers his hand to Daniel, helping him out of the pool.

 

The four boys exchange handshakes with Daniel, praising him and welcoming him to the team while water drips from his body down onto the floor. The entire time, he cannot erase the image of a certain Minhyun staring him down like he wants to throw Daniel into the pool and keep him under the water forever.

 

“Thanks,” is all Daniel manages to say before he’s dragged off by the rowdy group of four out of the arena.

 

It only takes Daniel ten minutes to realise that in the end, he’s still the loser who couldn’t stand his ground and didn’t finish his thirty laps.

 

It’s going to be a long four years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my god.
> 
> i'm going to try my very best to complete this fic because i have so many exciting things prepared for this fic.
> 
> please leave comments so that i'll be motivated to update!! hopefully the next update will be longer:D
> 
> as always, thank u for reading and take care <3


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jihoon bumps into someone he doesn't want to see, and ends up with a jacket he doesn't need.
> 
> daniel ends up with his face to the floor and screws up his first swim team training.

Jihoon straightens his tie for the nth time that night. Although no one is staring, he knows that all it takes is for one tiny detail to be off and people will pounce on him like an injured gazelle in the wild. The drink in his hand is left isolated when Jihoon spots Donghan, who waves him over to join the others at a nearby bar table.

 

“Looking tight, Jihoon,” Taehyun says as a form of “hello”.

 

“Thanks, hyung,” Jihoon returns an equally forced smile.

 

He shouldn't be acting like this. Taehyun is Donghan’s friend, and an overall nice person. This place makes people second-guess themselves as the people around them. He tries to relax but tenses up as soon as a few unfamiliar faces approach them.

 

The students from the other college introduce themselves and as usual, numbers are exchanged.

 

“See anyone you like?” Donghan nudges Jihoon playfully after he inputs his number into the handphone of another student who claims he is the heir to his parent’s vineyard in Australia, and blushes when Jihoon asks for his number as well.

 

You never know when you might need the help of a vineyard owner.

 

“I’m not  _ shopping _ ,” Jihoon mutters under his breath in a voice only Donghan will be able to hear.

 

“Right, right,” Donghan taunts, lifting his glass to someone he recognises in the crowd as a greeting, then turns back to Jihoon. “You just need someone that will be useful for your future, right?”

 

Donghan’s words irk Jihoon instantly. He sets the drink down on the table calmly to buy himself some time to compose himself before turning back to his friend, who is a little red in his cheeks. Maybe Donghan is a little drunk, but it doesn’t give him a free pass to say those things to Jihoon.

 

“You’re tipsy,” is all Jihoon says. 

 

“That doesn’t mean I say things that I don’t mean,” Donghan smiles. “Jihoon,  you need to relax. Not everyone here is out for your blood. Sometimes, people can be friends without  _ ulterior motives. _ ”

 

Jihoon used to think that way too. He understands if Donghan is still pure and uncorrupted; and naive enough to think that people have pure intentions.

 

“I’m leaving,” Jihoon announces to the table, and before they can even ask where he is going, he turns his back on Donghan and maneuvers his way skillfully through the crowd.

 

Even with the soft bass playing in the background, Jihoon cannot hear anything but the chatter of people, some who even try to approach him even when he’s trying to make his way to the exit as quickly as possible. He brushes them off as politely as possible, way too past the point to care if it affects his image or reputation in any way.

 

He just wants to get out of this place and curl up in bed.

 

When his vision blurs, he knocks directly into someone’s chest, then feels the trickle of a cold drink down his expensive suit exactly two seconds later.

 

The rational side of him tells him to apologize immediately.

 

The irrational side tells him to yell at the person for being so careless and demand compensation for his suit even if he has three others sitting in his closet back at home. It’s not just about the sticky drink on his hand, it’s more about how Donghan’s words are still ringing in his head and how he feels like he’s going to throw up anytime soon.

 

“I’m sorry,” Jihoon manages to choke out.

 

The figure says nothing in return.

 

Jihoon looks up, wondering if the person who spilt his drinks is going to apologize but is met with a face that brings him five months back instantly. His throat dries, and the buzzing in his head finally seems to stop.

 

“Minhyun hyung.”

 

  
  
  
  
〰️

 

 

 

It’s definitely not Daniel’s first time at a party.

 

But it is his first time at this type of party. Contrary to his own expectations, there are no rowdy or screaming high school kids running around or noisy beer pong competitions going down in the living room of this house.

 

Scratch that, this is no house. It’s a  _ castle _ .

 

Daniel shuffles uncomfortably in his leather jacket and blue jeans. He had tried to dress up for tonight but he thinks it is clear who is the obviously underdressed one at this so-called party.

 

“Is that you, Daniel?”

 

The face that surfaces in front of him is unfamiliar, yet Daniel gets a warm feeling in his chest all over again. The high school hyung he had relied on back then grins back at Daniel, knowing the turmoil that his brain must currently be going through.

 

“Jisung hyung?”

 

“I know I look different, but can you not look at me like I’ve completely changed?”

 

The Jisung hyung that Daniel knows is talkative, caring and one of the most spontaneous people in his life. They had lost contact after Jisung graduated from high school; yet the last place Daniel would have expected to meet him again was here - at an ivy league college party.

 

“I just…” Daniel’s at a loss for words.

 

“This place is overwhelming, isn’t it?” Jisung shakes his head, handing Daniel a glass of what looks like champagne. 

 

Daniel bows his head lightly, “I can’t, I have training tomorrow in the early morning. I don’t want it to affect my first ever meeting with the other swimmers.”

 

“You’re still swimming,” Jisung hums knowingly, turning away from their conversation to exchange professional handshakes with students from other colleges, some he recognizes as well. Daniel just watches on uncomfortably.

 

“You know I  _ live  _ for it, hyung,” Daniel replies, his voice now strained because Jisung always seems to have sad eyes whenever Daniel talks about swimming and it makes him choke up. He takes a deep breath, telling himself to calm down.

 

Jisung purses his lips.

 

“You can’t afford any mistakes in this place, Daniel.”

 

Jisung takes Daniel’s silence as an acknowledgement to keep talking, “I know you’re a dolphin in the waters. But you’re swimming in a sea full of sharks and they’re waiting for you to bleed.”

 

He squeezes Daniel’s shoulders lightly, “Be careful who you trust in here.”

 

Daniel sighs as Jisung leaves without another word and he is instantly joined by a built, already drunk Kang Dongho and his other friends Daniel had met earlier. Only the strangely quiet and undeniably rude and ignorant final member of the group is nowhere to be seen.

 

Figures, this is his scene as much as it is Hwang Minhyun’s.

 

“Want a drink, Daniel?”

 

Daniel knows he shouldn’t. He has to get up at six tomorrow to make it in time for training at seven. But when Minki offers a glass of sparkly champagne to Daniel, he finds himself downing the entire glass in one shot, grinning when they cheer for him and pass him another.

 

To swim with the school of sharks, you have to become one of them.

 

  
  
  
  
〰️

 

 

 

“How are you, Jihoon?”

 

Things are going just perfect tonight.

 

Donghan’s being an absolute dick, his suit is drenched in a drink Jihoon doesn’t want to identify, and Hwang Minhyun is finally talking to him again. 

 

Just fucking  _ perfect _ .

 

His fingers clench into determined fists at the side of his waist where Minhyun can’t see, but he knows is the only way to keep himself from completely losing it. Jihoon deliberately lets the cold air answer Minhyun’s question for him.

 

Minhyun only chews on his lower lip, strides over to his car that he has parked not far away from Hyunbin’s car and grabs a jacket out of the boot.

 

“It’s cold, you should borrow my jacket.”

 

_ Monumental Swim Team _ is embroidered in gold letters at the front of the jacket, boasting its prestige and on the back, is “H. Minhyun” printed above the bold “95”. Jihoon only stares at the jacket sitting in Minhyun’s waiting hands though his brain is sending him signals to put it on.

 

He’s right - it’s freezing out.

 

“Jihoon, are you going to say something?”

 

Something in Jihoon finally snaps.

 

“I thought you didn’t want me to talk, hyung.”

 

Minhyun doesn’t even blink; like he knew Jihoon would say this. Like he knew Jihoon wouldn’t do anything even if he went ahead and draped his jacket over Jihoon’s broad frame. When he makes sure that Jihoon is finally warm and comfortable, he reaches out his hand.

 

Jihoon stops him just as Minhyun’s thumb is about to ghost over his cheek.

 

“Hyung, please.  _ Don’t.” _

 

“Jihoonie-”

 

“It’s just  _ Jihoon  _ to you now,” Jihoon snaps.

 

Minhyun swallows. Jihoon knows that the other has never been a fan of rejection.

 

Internally, Jihoon scoffs.

 

Rejection, big deal.

 

The seemingly perfect Hwang Minhyun never handles rejection well, what more if it comes from someone as insignificant and powerless as Park Jihoon. He knows that Minhyun acts like he doesn’t care how others see him - but one look at the way Minhyun wears his suit so professionally tells Jihoon that he has put hours into grooming himself.

 

“Fine,  _ Jihoon _ .”

 

Better.

 

Or is it?

 

“I’m sorry I destroyed your suit. I’ll get you a new one.”

 

Jihoon shakes his head, “It’s fine. I have many more where that came from. And I should probably get going, my friends are looking for me.”

 

He marches off to the back of the house, where there are fewer people gathering. Jihoon just needs space; anywhere without a certain Hwang Minhyun breathing down his neck. Heaving a sigh of relief when he makes sure that Minhyun isn’t following him, Jihoon finally relaxes.

 

Closing his eyes, he tries to pep talk himself into acting normal.

 

“ _ A-and I don’t care _ i-if I’m not the best, I just want t-to swim.”

 

A series of hiccups follows and Jihoon groans.

 

The last thing he needs tonight is a drunken human stumbling into his sight.

 

But according to Murphy’s Law, that is exactly what he gets.

 

“Oh  _ heeeeey _ ,” a rabbit-toothed individual with flushed cheeks and an absence of a sense of balance and privacy grins when he sees Jihoon glaring down at him. “Oh, you’re that guy from my class. The one who was mean.”

 

It’s the new kid.

 

Jihoon rolls his eyes. He can’t believe it took less than twelve hours for the new scholarship student to get shit-faced drunk at this party.

 

_ Class  _ \- it’s evident.

 

And right now, Kang Daniel has  _ none _ .

 

“Oh my god,” Kang Daniel groans, shaking Jihoon from his train of thought. “I’m going to puke.”

 

“Shit,” Jihoon curses, looking around for help. But as magical and coincidental as it may seem, there is no one else except them in the backyard right now. It would be quite romantic, considering the candles and fairy lights that have been used to decorate the area.

 

Except that this new face is puking in the corner of the garden.

 

Jihoon grimaces and turns around to avoid the very unpretty sight. Hyunbin is so not going to be happy when he sees this.

 

“You okay?” Jihoon asks when the sounds of throwing up has stopped.

 

“Been better,” Kang Daniel confesses.

 

Jihoon turns around.

 

“How much did you even drink to get this drunk? All we have here is champagne and wine.”

 

Daniel grins, holding up five fingers and then answering, “Seven. Each. Or altogether, I don’t know, I can’t really remember. They kept handing me more.”

 

Sighing, Jihoon already knows exactly what kind of sticky situation Kang Daniel has gotten himself into on the first day of school. He’s been made the clown of the swim team and probably the entire school if his drunken state is exposed to the rest of the people at this party.

 

“God,” Jihoon curses under his breath. “I can’t believe I’m doing this.”   
  


Daniel’s in nothing but a thin shirt and although Jihoon doesn’t particularly fancy sharing, especially with people who are almost complete strangers, he’s afraid this new kid is going to die of hypothermia in his hands if he doesn’t step in right now.

 

He’s still wearing Hwang Minhyun’s swim team jacket.

 

Gross.

 

“Come on, big guy,” Jihoon hoists Daniel up, almost falling when he realises that Daniel is quite heavy and he has been skimping out on his weekly gym sessions with Donghan. “You better stay awake or I will leave you to die on the street.”

 

“Mm,” the deep voice from the other rumbles. “It’s funny when you make threats with that pretty face of yours.”

 

“It won’t be funny when my fist is on your face if you make another noise.”

 

Thankfully, Daniel pulls his weight and they get out of the house and onto the empty street without anyone noticing that Jihoon is practically saving Daniel from eternal embarrassment. In fact, he has basically saved Daniel’s life.

 

“Miss… Rooney,” a mumble slips from Daniel’s throat, and when he catches Jihoon’s glare, “Sorry, the words keep slipping out. It’s like - I can’t keep my lips together.”

 

He then gestures to his mouth weirdly.

 

Jihoon shrugs Kang Daniel’s body off when he realises they’re still pressed together very closely.

 

For a swimmer, Daniel does not have very good control of his own body. Or maybe it’s the alcohol. Jihoon doesn’t really care. It is beyond him to take care of a stranger now that no one is watching.

 

“Ow,” Daniel groans when he stumbles over his own feet and lands on the pavement.

 

“Ooh,” he squeals two seconds later. “The floor is cold. Good for my face - it’s burning up.”

 

Jihoon crouches down, “Alright. Where do you live? I know you don’t live at the dorms so give me your address and I can call a cab for you.”

 

“Nice floor,” Daniel just replies.

 

Jihoon grabs his shoulders and makes him sit up, “Stop that. Do you know how dirty the floor is? If anyone were to see you now, your life would be over. You know what, I could probably ruin your scholarship opportunity right now.”

 

“But you wouldn’t.”

 

Daniel smiles.

 

“You’re  _ different _ . I can tell. I’m a very good judge of people.”

 

Jihoon would return a smile if he weren’t sitting with Kang Daniel on the completely freezing pavement right now.

 

How did he even get here?

 

“That’s nice of you. But you also took drinks from people who are definitely not good people,” Jihoon points out. “It’s late, you should go home.”

 

He also wants to say something about how he’s not sitting on the floor because it is actually comfortable, but more because he’s trying to help Kang Daniel get up. But when he looks over his shoulder, Kang Daniel’s eyes are already closed and Jihoon thinks he hears light snoring from him.

 

“Jesus,” Jihoon concedes defeat and calls for a cab.

 

He asks for help from the driver to carry his “not-friend” into the cab and tells him the dorm address. Jihoon just prays that Daniel doesn’t throw up in the cab.

 

  
  
  
  
〰️

 

 

 

The bed is so soft.

 

He’s surrounded by pillows and he never wants to open his eyes.

 

Wait.

 

He doesn’t have  _ that  _ many pillows on his bed.

 

“Oh, fuck.”

 

“Good, you’re awake. I hope you’re not expecting breakfast because I’m not a good cook, and also, we’re not friends.”

 

One of the things Daniel would have never bet on seeing the first thing in the morning is the face of the mean guys in his class that wouldn’t tell him which page the professor was on in class and caused him to get mocked at. 

 

But fate works in very funny ways.

 

“I hope you don’t have any morning classes, because you’ll have to come up with a very good excuse as to why you missed them. I don’t recommend the “I was drunk last night and overslept” excuse, though.”

 

Park Jihoon - the familiar name rings in Daniel’s head.

 

Last night’s events are all but a blurry memory that Daniel can’t seem to make out explicitly. All he really remembers is having that really depressing tallk with Jisung hyung and then Dongho and Minki handing him drink after drink and-

 

“I’m late.”

 

“Better late than never,” Jihoon shrugs.

 

He looks different. Daniel vaguely remembers Jihoon in very tight jeans and branded shirts all the time but when he stands in front of Daniel in a plain, black hoodie, face still not made up. Daniel thinks that he looks nice.

 

Different, and  _ nice _ .

 

Oh, and in Daniel’s case, he thinks that it would be better to never show up than to be late for his first ever training with one of the most recognised swim teams in all of the colleges in Korea.

 

“I have to go,” Daniel grabs his phone, conveniently placed at the drawer beside the bed he had been sleeping in.

 

“At least brush your teeth, that’s gross!” Jihoon calls out as Daniel sprints out the door, his voice still echoing down the hallway.

 

By some stroke of luck, training would have been cancelled or maybe the coach is late, or maybe everyone else in the swim team got deadbeat drunk last night as well and no one is there.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

Fat chance.

 

Daniel is faced with a livid looking coach and a lineup of swimmers that are either snickering behind his back or staring him down and probably wondering how the hell did someone like him make it into the team.

 

“And you are?” the coach asks icily.

 

Daniel holds his breath, “Kang Daniel, Sir.”

 

“Late!” the coach bellows, and Daniel flinches. “You are late!”

 

“I’m sorry,” Daniel bows immediately. “I won’t make up an excuse. I promise that it will never happen again.”

 

“You will swim an extra fifty laps today and just to be sure,” the coach turns to the other swimmers who are lined up behind him. “I will make sure that the spot in the next competitions will go to my boys - and not some lousy swimmer who got the golden ticket by sheer luck.”

 

The coach strides away, and Daniel can only look at his teammates in shame.

 

He deserves every part of this.

 

“It happens to the best of us, Daniel. Don’t worry about it,” Dongho calls out to Daniel before he beckons for the other swimmers to follow him into the pool.

 

Jisung was right.

 

Daniel is trying to swim with the sharks.

 

And his first attempt has been nothing but a miserable failure.

 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

 

“Leave me alone,” Daniel says through clenched teeth. “If you came to gloat, forget it. Your friends already did it for you. You should thank them for it.”

 

Minhyun grabs his arm, hard.

 

“Let me go.”

 

Daniel is no pushover, even if it means going against the school’s star swimmer.

 

Minhyun’s eyes are fiery - different from the expressionless ones the day before.

 

“I could care less about your scholarship,” Minhyun snaps. “I know you won’t last long, anyway.”

 

“Then what do you want?” Daniel laughs emptily. “Pray tell.”

 

Minhyun fixes his stare onto Daniel.

 

“You’re wearing my jacket.”

 

For the first time that morning, Daniel takes a good look at himself. He’s still in the shirt and jeans from yesterday - and also, a jacket he does not recognise.

 

He slips it off and looks at the back.

 

_ H. Minhyun _

 

“Where did you get it?”

 

Daniel blinks.

 

“Tell me,” Minhyun glowers, hands possessively snatching the jacket back, leaving Daniel’s hands now empty.

 

Somehow, it feels like he has treaded into a territory that has already been marked.

 

“I’m going to give you one last chance-

 

_ “-where did you get this jacket?” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments are always appreciated and motivate me to update!! ♡ 
> 
>  
> 
> thank you for reading<3


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jihoon thinks about faking his death.
> 
> daniel joins the misfits room.
> 
> an unlikely pair is formed for the next school project.

**_Hwang Minhyun [10:02am]_ **

_ Come to the swimming arena now. _

_ I know you don’t have classes. _

 

 

Jihoon is two seconds away from throwing his phone into the wall and watching it smash into smithereens. He could just pretend that he doesn’t have a phone.

 

In this economy of rich and privileged kids? No one would ever buy his excuse. Especially not the boy who has been the Honours Roll ever since he has enrolled into this school.

 

Maybe he could fake his death. He just needs maybe five weeks, a lot of tools he does not have, a brain to plan it all, and the heart to leave his friends and family behind thinking that he died just because he does not want to go to meet Hwang Minhyun.

 

After the incident yesterday night, Jihoon had swore to never let himself run into Hwang Minhyun again. He knows they are literally studying in the same school but with enough luck, he will be able to coexist with Hwang Minhyun in the same school without seeing him again.

 

Obviously, Jihoon is down on his luck because instead of establishing important connections with the students from other colleges last night, he had bumped into a very confusing ex-boyfriend and then had to let a complete stranger, both drunk and very heavy, sleep in his extra guest bed.

 

**_Hwang Minhyun [10:05am]_ **

_ Don’t make me go over to your dorm. _

_ I don’t want to make a scene. _

 

 

Jihoon proceeds to kick the blanket and pillows off his bed angrily when he realises that he is left with no choice except to get out of bed and meet the person he hates the most in the world right now or risk his entire reputation going down the drain if Hwang Minhyun airs their dirty laundry right outside the dorms where most of the student population resides in.

 

He hates himself so much right now.

 

“I’m going to kick his ass so bad he’s going to taste my foot in his mouth,” Jihoon mutters under his breath as he sprints to his wardrobe to pull out a half-decent outfit that wouldn’t look like he was trying to hard to impress anyone but would still tell everyone that he isn’t a homeless bum.

 

Most of all, Jihoon hates how his heart will always lose out to Hwang Minhyun.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

“Hm. You’re here, good.”

 

Jihoon wishes he could say something smart like tell Minhyun not to speak to him like Jihoon is his secretary when he is really here because his good-for-nothing ex-boyfriend had threatened him.

 

“Have you had lunch? Let’s go together,” Minhyun offers.

 

Don’t look at his abs, don’t look at his abs, don’t look at his abs.

 

Jihoon shuts his eyes - as childish as it may seem to anyone (he knows) but he knows that if he keeps them open, he will be at the perfect height to ogle at Minhyun’s way too perfect abs.

 

“I’ve put on a shirt, you can open your eyes now.”

 

_ He’s still so sweet and considerate _ , Jihoon curses internally. He peeks open just one eye to make sure that Minhyun isn’t lying and relaxes when he’s telling the truth.

 

“I’m not going to lunch with you. I’m here to tell you to stop bothering me, period.”

 

Jihoon is proud of himself for sounding very determined. His voice doesn’t even waver when Minhyun fixes his intense stare on Jihoon, not even blinking once. Jihoon has suspicions that Hwang Minhyun never blinks. It’s all part of the persona.

 

“You gave my jacket to that scholarship kid,” Minhyun finally says, and the air turns chilly.

 

“I explicitly remember giving it to  _ you _ , not some kid who won the lucky draw to get into this school.”

 

Jihoon crosses his arms, “I don’t explicitly remember accepting it from you either.”

 

“What happened last night between you two?”

 

Even though Jihoon knows that absolutely nothing had happened except for realising how much Kang Daniel snores in his sleep - his cheeks flush at the implied meaning behind Minhyun’s words.

 

Minhyun seethes at the sight of Jihoon keeping silent.

 

He points to a figure in the olympic, still doing his laps.

 

The swimmer is significantly slower than anyone Jihoon has ever seen swim competitively. He’s not even warming up. Jihoon gulps.

 

“Is  _ that  _ what you want, Jihoon? Someone who can’t even stand out, someone who will never be the best?”

 

Jihoon knows the underlying meaning behind Minhyun’s words - and he doesn't like it one bit.

 

“It’s none of your business what _ I _ want. But it’s definitely not you-”

 

Jihoon gulps nervously, wavering for the first time in five months. He fights back the angry tears that spring into his eyes.

 

“-because hyung,  _ you  _ were the one who broke up with me. Remember?”

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

_ 48 _ .

 

Daniel is going to die.

 

He’s actually going to drown and die right here in this terrible school filled with mean people and backstabbers and he’s never going to prove them wrong about being the best swimmer they’ve ever laid their eyes on since the beginning of time.

 

Big dreams, he knows.

 

He’s a big boy - and a big boy should dream big. (According to his mother and the voices that keep him awake at night.)

 

_ 49 _ .

 

He’s crawling at a turtle’s pace now. He’s slower than a fifth grader who’s just starting to learn how to swim. He’s so, so, tired. His muscles are going to ache so bad tomorrow. He’s probably going to fall asleep in his film studies class this afternoon and get yelled at by another professor again.

 

No surprise there.

 

Daniel should have known he would never survive in this place.

 

_ 50 _ .

 

When his fingers stretch and touch the finishing line, he finally surfaces from the water, pulling out his goggles and swim cap instantly. He feels free again.

 

Breathing heavily, Daniel pauses to catch his breath.

 

“Jihoonie, don’t say that. You know I didn’t-”

 

Daniel turns his head immediately towards the familiar voice. It’s Hwang Minhyun at the benches, hair already dried and talking to another familiar face. Except his face isn’t the expressionless one Daniel is used to.

 

He looks desperate instead.

 

Suddenly, both of them turn to look in Daniel’s general direction.

 

He clears his throat awkwardly.

 

It feels like he’s intruded in something very personal between the two boys. The second time in less than five hours. Honest to God, it is not Daniel’s fault, really. He just finds himself in more than one awkward situations more often than he likes to admit.

 

“I don’t care. Please don’t message me or look me up again,” Jihoon ends the conversation hastily as Daniel pushes himself out of the pool and goes to grab his clothes to shower before he leaves for class.

 

He doesn’t mean to eavesdrop either because the two of them are talking  _ right there. _

 

It’s also safe to assume that they weren’t talking about the weather or anything as innocent as the weather. It looked like they were fighting instead, honestly.

 

Minhyun just watches as Jihoon leaves, and Daniel somehow manages to bump into Jihoon on the way to the showers.

 

“Um,” Daniel just says, because he wants to be polite but he also does not want to get on Minhyun’s nerves any further; the other had obviously seemed pissed about the jacket situation earlier. 

 

Jihoon just looks at him, waiting for him to go on.

 

“I’m sorry about last night,” Daniel says, and in a lower voice because he knows Minhyun is staring at them and probably has the superpower to read his lips, “And also… I didn’t mean to get you into trouble with-”

 

“It’s fine. I get it,” Jihoon shrugs. “No harm done, right?”

 

Oh.

 

Daniel had expected to get chewed out or something.

 

“Yeah, no harm done,” Daniel echoes. “Well, see you around.”

 

Jihoon just sighs and takes his leave.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

“What’s the cheapest dorm room you guys have here?”

 

This is Daniel trying to make his life a little easier by living closer to school, and also Daniel realising that money really does get you places in this school.

 

The office attendant stares at him like he’d just asked who killed her mother.

 

“I’m on scholarship, is there anything in there that might work that out for me?”

 

With her freshly painted nails, she types furiously on her keyboard, as if wanting to get Daniel out of her office as soon as possible. Daniel doesn’t understand; it’s literally her job to help students with these things. Maybe the other students have never had a problem with accomodations.

 

She then hands him a card key.

 

“Building S. It’s the best we can do for you. Payment details will be sent to your student email, please follow the instructions accordingly after.”

 

Well. That’s that.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

“Oh my God, you scared the bejesus out of me!”

 

A lanky and tall figure almost trips over his own feet when Daniel unlocks the door to his new home. He catches himself in time, but ends up hitting his head against a shelf. Daniel just blinks.

 

“I’m sorry?”

 

The boy in rounded glasses waves a dismissive hand at him, “It’s fine. I wasn’t expecting any guests. And you are…? Are you one of Jaehwan’s friends?”

 

“Jaehwan? Who’s that?”

 

“I guess not,” the boy rubs his chin suspiciously. “Are you the pest control guy we requested for three months ago? Well, I’m glad you’re finally here, but the rats are gone. Jaehwan swears it isn’t due to his new hygiene habits but I’m willing to place my life fortune it is - which isn’t much, by the way. I’m rambling, aren’t I?”

 

Daniel nods, overwhelmed by the chatter.

 

He’s used to getting cold responses from the people in this school. Unless this is all a dream and this is some weird alternate universe where people in this college are nice.

 

If so, he never wants to wake up.

 

“I’m Ong Seongwoo,” he holds out his hand.

 

Daniel takes it happily, “Kang Daniel, your new roommate, I guess? I hope the rats never come back. Otherwise, I’d have to bring my three cats from Busan here.”

 

Seongwoo grins, “That sounds amazing. Unfortunately, they have a no-pets policy here. Stupid fucking school.”

 

First this guy is nice, and next he disses the school?

 

Daniel must have died and gone to heaven.

 

“Jaehwan should be here soon. You’ll see him before you hear him.”

 

As if on a musical cue, a loud voice booms down the hallway.

 

_ “What is up my uncultured bitch-”  _ the new face pauses at the doorway when he realises that there is one more person in the room than he’d expected, and then adds his plural,  _ “-es?” _

 

“This is Kang Daniel. Obviously broke and on scholarship like us. The stupid school is trying to kill us by overcrowding the dorms. He’s cool, and he has three cats in Busan,” Seongwoo introduces Daniel before he can.

 

“Ah. I like Busan men,” Jaehwan winks very obviously at Daniel. “You have a nice build. What do you do?”

 

“Weightlifting,” Seongwoo guesses.

 

“Swimming,” Daniel clarifies, a light dust of pink colouring his cheeks when he gets to show off his favourite thing in life.

 

Both their jaws fall simultaneously.

 

“No way,” Seongwoo gasps as Jaehwan nudges him hard in the shoulder, almost shoving the poor, skinny boy over.

 

“What?” Daniel scratches his head, not understanding why the two boys are making a huge fuss over something small. 

 

“So you train with  _ The Hwang Minhyun? _ ” Jaehwan pops the question.

 

Seongwoo makes a dying whale noise.

 

Daniel shrugs, “I guess, though I think he doesn’t really like me.”

 

Jaehwan shakes his head and pets Daniel’s arm encouragingly. “Don’t worry, it’s not you. It’s  _ us _ . Hwang Minhyun just dislikes us scholarship students in general. Actually, most of them do, it’s not much of a surprise. Which is just a  _ shame  _ for poor Seongwoo over here.”

 

Seongwoo is staring into the distance with a dazed look in his eyes.

 

Jaehwan tiptoes to whisper into Daniel’s ear, “He has a hopeless crush on the school’s most loved swimmer. No biggie.”

 

“No biggie?” Seongwoo clutches his chest. “It’s the biggest tragedy after Romeo and Juliet!”

 

Jaehwan wrinkles his nose in distaste.

 

“Musical actor wannabe,” Jaehwan explains, then turns to Seongwoo who has curled up into a ball on the floor, “And  _ hey-  _ didn’t Romeo and Juliet  _ actually  _ love each other? Also, that story ended up in a double suicide. I doubt yours is less tragic than that.”

 

As much as Daniel would like to stay and see how this comedy act plays out, he has to run for his next class.

 

“I gotta run,” Daniel says.

 

“Sure, Swimmer boy,” Jaehwan flashes him a thumbs up. “Remember to be back early tonight.”

 

“Why?”

 

His heart sinks to his stomach when Jaehwan grins gleefully, rubbing his hands together for full effect.

 

“You have to go through the initiation, of course.”

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

Jihoon flops into the seat at the back of the class, far away from Donghan just to be clear that he is still pissed at his friend for letting his mouth run yesterday.

 

“Hey- can I sit here?”

 

He wonders why such a fit looking swimmer like Kang Daniel always seems to be out of breath whenever they meet.

 

Jihoon looks at Donghan, who is still glaring at him from two rows down, straight in the eye when he says, “Nobody’s name is on it.”

 

“Oh,” Daniel fumbles over his words. “I just thought that maybe you would- be saving it for your friend or something.”

 

_ “Fuck, sorry. _ That was mean,” Jihoon admits. He takes a deep breath - he’d learnt about this in psychology class the previous day. Anger projection: that’s exactly what he’s doing with Kang Daniel right now.

 

“Sit,” Jihoon just says, and Daniel settles into the seat beside him just as the professor marches into class.

 

Donghan turns to the front, shaking his head disapprovingly.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

“You’re not the greatest swimmer, are you?”

 

Jihoon can’t help but let the words slip out from his mouth.

 

He’s been taught manners but he is just burning with curiosity to ask the question.

 

“What?” Daniel whispers harshly, looking very offended. “I’m a pretty good swimmer, thank you.”

 

“You were swimming at the pace of a baby in the pool.”

 

The professor is rambling on and on about something related to the history of films that Jihoon knows he is missing out by talking to someone who will never survive this intensive class. But he can’t help it - he is about a million times more interested in Kang Daniel’s story than the one the professor is telling the class to pay attention to.

 

Daniel takes a deep, long breath, as if to calm himself.

 

“I was punished. By the coach for being late. He made me swim an extra 50 laps after we had completed our physical training. No stopping for rests.”

 

Jihoon bites on his tongue so hard it’s probably going to draw blood.

 

Why can’t he just learn to keep his mouth shut sometimes? Now he feels bad and he’s never been the best at apologies.

 

“You did drink yourself silly at the party yesterday.”

 

“I know,” Daniel smiles sadly. “It’s all my fault, isn’t it?”

 

“I didn’t mean to say that,” Jihoon starts to defend himself. “You should have known that the swimmers are not the best people to take drinks from.”

 

“How could I have known?” Daniel snaps back, earning a few annoyed looks from the students up front. “And talking about knowing people, if you knew how much of an  _ a-hole _ Hwang Minhyun could be then how could you put his jacket on me?”

Jihoon opens his mouth to say something back when the professor bellows, “Park Jihoon, Kang Daniel. Do you have something to say?”

 

Fuck.

 

This is going to affect his marks so badly.

 

He’s maintained a perfect record for months now. And to think it had all gone to waste just because he was talking to the new student. Maybe he should go and beg the professor not to penalize him after class.

 

“No, Sir,” Jihoon bows his head, embarrassed.

 

When the professor turns back to the board, Jihoon whispers, “Look, I’m sorry about Minhyun. That was my fault. We’re even. End of story, zip it.”

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

When the lights come on, students fly into a frenzy.

 

Jihoon is aware of this phenomenon.

 

It’s called group work.

 

His pride is telling him not to go to Donghan before the other apologizes, and true enough, he sees that his friend is already surrounded by students who want to be his partner in this new film project. He’s not going to be someone that begs his friend to choose him over other people.

 

The choices are diminishing quickly.

 

The star students are quickly snatched by others. Everyone wants to get the best grades; and the only way to do so is to get the best partner.

 

“Hey,” a voice interrupts his train of thought.

 

“Wow, good morning,” he replies sarcastically to the head that was just drooling on the table beside him.

 

Kang Daniel rubs his eyes sleepily.

 

“What are we doing?” Daniel ignores his smart jab.

 

“Finding partners,” Jihoon explains, eyes scanning the area quickly. “You better start looking for one too.”

 

“I found him,” Daniel says nonchalantly.

 

“Huh?” Jihoon whips his head around, in disbelief that Daniel could find a partner before him.

 

He ends up with Daniel’s finger jabbing him in the nose.

 

“I AM SO SORRY I WAS AIMING FOR YOUR CHEEK!” Daniel squeaks.

 

If murder was legal, Kang Daniel would be at the top of Park Jihoon’s lists right now.

 

“You were pointing to  _ me _ ?” Jihoon sputters, still recovering from the shock.

 

“I mean… I think we’d make a pretty sweet team.”

 

Jihoon closes his eyes and rubs his temples to ease the headache that he feels oncoming from Daniel’s choice of vocabulary. And also - the possibility of him ending up as partners with the new scholarship guy. He’s going to end up doing all the work and giving Kang Daniel that  _ A  _ for  _ nothing _ .

 

He’s heard many horror stories like this one from his friend.

 

Scholarship students never do their work - they’re only here to steal the grade off of you in the end.

 

“Why-” Daniel’s smile disappears for the first time since Jihoon has met him. “I’m not good enough for you?”

 

God. Jihoon owes Kang Daniel for the whole Minhyun slash fifty laps situation even though it’s not really  _ his  _ fault.

 

He catches Daniel’s arm when he turns away, “Wait. Let’s partner up.”

 

This could go very wrong.

 

But Jihoon can’t see how it could - not when Kang Daniel’s smile lights up the room like a million light bulbs.

 

“The pleasure is all mine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments are always appreciated and keep me motivated to update! i love hearing your reactions! :D
> 
>  
> 
> also: please follow and check out @nielwink_month on twitter to catch more exciting updates on an event that's being organised for all nielwink lovers alike<3


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ongnielhwan do some dumb things together which lands daniel in a very awkward position where he sees something he probably shouldn't have.
> 
> jihoon is confused,
> 
> and daniel is excited about the new project.

“You know, I am starting to think that this is a bad idea.”

 

“Don’t be such a wimp. And that is a word I reserve only for those good-for-nothing elite students who use money to buy their way into this school. Trust me on this, Daniel. You need to be daring to survive. Besides, you are a swimmer, this is basically your home.”

 

Daniel sucks air into his nose, telling himself a prayer that will probably fly past the ear’s of whatever God that is listening. He doesn’t know how he’s in this situation again - bare feet at the edge of the pool and two very gleeful friends behind him.

 

“How is  _ this  _ an initiation?” Daniel protests, turning away from the pool to face Jaehwan and Seongwoo again.

 

Jaehwan rubs his chin knowingly, “Well, the initial plan was to throw you in the lake. But it’s cold out and we don’t want to be responsible for hypothermia. So, you’ll dive into the pool instead.”

 

“Which is a pretty lame downgrade,” Seongwoo shrugs from behind Jaehwan, but makes no attempt to stop Daniel from wetting himself again.

 

He’d just taken a shower, right after his afternoon practice, too.

 

“Come on, don’t you want to be part of  _ the most unpopular clique _ in Monumental?”

 

Well, Daniel has to admit that Jaehwan has put his suggestion across in a very appealing way. So appealing Daniel can’t help but want to fit in immediately. He shrugs off his shirt, revealing his upper body.

 

Jaehwan whistles very inappropriately and Seongwoo just claps slowly, and very dramatically.

 

He climbs up the ladder to the third highest diving board.

 

Much more than the harrowing height, Daniel is afraid of someone walking in on them. As per the school rules, the facilities are not meant to be used after 11pm. Somehow, Jaehwan is in a club that gives him access to the keys and here they are: at the olympic pool at twelve midnight and Daniel is about to perform a dive even if he is a competitive swimmer.

 

“Don’t look down,  _ Danny boy! _ That makes it scarier than it really is.”

 

“Yeah, yeah,” Daniel muses, putting on his goggles.

 

He’s more than ready to make the jump and get this “initiation” over with. He wants to make sure to get at least six hours of sleep like a normal human would.

 

Seongwoo and Jaehwan are watching - and Daniel wants to make this jump as impressive as possible.

 

But out of the corner of his eye, he sees a small figure coming out of the locker rooms; meaning that someone is here after the appropriate hours too. Daniel cranes his neck, until he sees the two figures locking lips.

 

The security flashlight suddenly shines on the two figures faces, startling them.

 

There’s no mistaking them.

 

“Daniel,  _ jump _ !” Jaehwan urges - eyes shifting towards the guard’s light that is coming towards them. Seongwoo gestures for him to hurry up.

 

Park Jihoon and Hwang Minhyun are making out.

 

Daniel dives, closing his eyes.

 

He hits the water face first when his mind drifts somewhere else.

 

Everything from then on just hurts a lot.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

“Knock knock.”

 

Donghan doesn’t ever knock, whether it be actually knocking on Jihoon’s door or verbally saying the words “knock knock” out loud. He only does that when he needs something else to fill the awkward silence between then.

 

Ever since the argument, Jihoon has been hanging out with Woojin and Guanlin instead, who for a good change, don’t criticize his every moment. 

 

But Jihoon misses Donghan.

 

“Hey, missed me?” Donghan leans his arm very obviously on Jihoon’s door.

 

He’s still as pretentious as ever.

 

“No.”

 

Jihoon’s heart is cold and he likes to be known for that. No way he is going to back down or apologise to his friend first. (Not that he has any reason to, of course.) He just turns back to his notes when a packet of chicken is placed on his table.

 

“I picked this up on the way here.”

 

Granted, his friend is not the best at apologies either.

 

“Is it half fried and half-”

 

“All I had to do was mention “Park Jihoon” at the store and they had your order custom made,” Donghan assures Jihoon.

 

_ Well _ . Not to brag or anything, but Jihoon is practically the son of the owners of the chicken store just a few streets down from their college. He doesn’t go there very often (it is not a popular hang out spot with the other students) but when he does, he likes to make an impression.

 

“I’ll eat but this doesn’t mean that I’ll forgive you…  _ yet _ ,” Jihoon adds the last word belatedly because he can’t possibly not talk to Donghan forever.

 

Donghan just grins and plops down on Jihoon’s bed before kicking off his shoes at the entrance, pleased that his presence is at the very least  _ tolerable  _ right now.

 

“I cannot believe you ditched me for that Kang Daniel guy. I thought we made a pact to work on all our projects together,” Donghan pouts.

 

“You were being a dick,” Jihoon breathes in. “And  _ he  _ was not.”

 

“I hope you like being partners with people who don’t do their work,” Donghan wrinkles his nose in disgust, having had some bad experiences with scholarship students before. Jihoon has heard all about it, really.

 

Kang Daniel is not too bad.

 

Jihoon hasn’t seen him enough to form a lasting impression. They are meeting tomorrow to finally get started on their project. Jihoon just hopes that Daniel hasn’t been running his mouth to other people about what happened between Minhyun and him the other day.

 

Then again, he doesn’t seem like that sort of person.

 

“Thanks to you, I scored a cute looking girl in class. Here,  _ look- _ ”

 

Jihoon pushes Donghan’s phone away, completely uninterested.

 

“I have something I need to tell you,” Jihoon confesses, the lump in his throat making him uncomfortable. He hates lying to his friends, especially Donghan.

 

“If it’s about the apology, forget it. We’re cool. Hey, do you think she’s cuter than this other-”

 

“I’m talking to Minhyun hyung again.”

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

It hadn’t meant to happen at all. Jihoon had sworn over his dead body that he would ever be on good terms with Hwang Minhyun again. Not after he had stolen Jihoon’s heart and then trampled all over it like a wild beast.

 

No matter how much Jihoon tells himself that he’s fine - he still aches in his chest when he thinks of all the things he had dreamt of love to be; and how Minhyun had completely crushed all of those dreams.

 

Maybe he should take a step back.

 

Look at it in a different perspective.

 

“Jihoon, you’ve got to be kidding me.”

 

Well, in Donghan’s perspective, he must be nothing but a heartbroken loser who cannot move on.

 

“Please tell me this is a joke. A prank. Are you actually being serious?” Donghan shakes Jihoon furiously, as if trying to shake the bad decisions out of him.

 

He buries his face into his hands.

 

It had started with Minhyun texting him,  _ “hi.” _

 

Jihoon had remained strong even then. Refused to even type back a reply.

 

And then he started asking if Jihoon had breakfast, lunch, dinner. Told him not to study too hard because he would ace that test anyway. Offered to walk him back from the library if it was too late.

 

Jihoon cracked.

 

Out of pure curiosity, Jihoon had asked Minhyun about how he was doing in his swimming practices. 

 

And out of nowhere, they’re texting again.

 

“Out of nowhere,  _ out of nowhere! _ ” Donghan yells, not even trying to be discreet about his unhappiness with the entire situation. “Jihoon, you told me to slap you in the face if you ever let yourself fall for him again. I can’t believe this - you told me you deleted and blocked his number!”

 

Jihoon said he would - but he never got to doing it.

 

Even the pictures they had taken in their short three months together are stored in a secret folder in his laptop; password protected, of course.

 

“I know we ended badly, but he said he was sorry-” Jihoon protests.

 

Donghan takes the chicken packet off Jihoon’s desk, “Forget it. Come talk to me when you’re doing being a complete moron.”

 

Although Jihoon’s first instinct is to fight back and defend himself by saying things like, “Minhyun’s not that bad” or maybe “He already apologised” before he realises that Donghan is speaking the truth.

 

“And for the record, I said it once and I’ll say it again. He doesn’t deserve you.”

 

Both Jihoon’s stomach and heart are empty when Donghan slams Jihoon’s door shut in his own face.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

Just to be clear, Jihoon is an icon of zero self discipline.

 

 

**_Hwang Minhyun [11:12pm]_ **

Can we talk?

Face to face.

 

 

**_Park Jihoon [11:14pm]_ **

It’s late, hyung.

Go to sleep.

 

 

**_Hwang Min_ ** **_hyun [11:14pm]_ **

It won’t be for long

I just want to see you

Locker rooms at the swimming arena

I’ll be waiting

  
  


 

Jihoon could be doing a million other things. Actually read up on tomorrow’s lessons, get more sleep before tomorrow comes, call Donghan and tell him that he’s never going to contact Hwang Minhyun again. But all of those plans get thrown out the window when he gets a text from Minhyun asking to meet now.

 

When all the facilities are supposedly out of bounds.

 

But it shouldn’t surprise Jihoon at all. 

 

Back when they  _ were  _ dating, their dates mostly comprised sneaking out of their rooms and night and they liked to rendezvous at the locker rooms near the swimming arena. Or if Jihoon was feeling snacky, Minhyun would accompany him to the vending machines to get snacks and they would talk about anything under the sky.

 

But that was a long, long time ago.

 

If Donghan were here, he would probably tell Jihoon to ignore Minhyun.

 

Donghan isn’t here, and Jihoon is about a hundred percent sure that Minhyun is stubborn and won’t budge unless Jihoon shows up.

 

Crap.

 

Jihoon grabs his jacket and slips out of his room, closing the door slowly so he doesn’t alert anyone.

 

He knows he’s making a mistake.

 

But in Jihoon’s seemingly perfect life, he thinks making a mistake once or twice is what keeps him alive - and makes him feel human again.

 

He just doesn’t know if his heart is on the same page with that thought.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

Lo and behold, Minhyun is indeed waiting.

 

He’s in his swim team jacket, head buried into a book while he taps his fingers impatiently on the locker bench as if his heart is uneasy; a contrast from his calm demeanor when Jihoon treads lightly into the room.

 

“Hyung?”

 

“Jihoon, I’m glad you’re here.”

 

Minhyun stands up, opening his arms and waits for Jihoon to make his decision.

 

Jihoon knows he shouldn’t. Given the context, he should probably get out of there as quickly as he can. But Minhyun is waiting with that small, hopeful smile on his face like he’s begging Jihoon to  _ make the jump _ .

 

“ _ I- _ ” the words are stuck at his throat.

 

Jihoon can neither accept nor reject Minhyun.

 

“Just once?” Minhyun asks.

 

When the other boy’s muscular arms are wrapped around Jihoon’s waist, he almost squeaks at how much strength Minhyun is putting into an innocent hug. His ex-boyfriend smells like chlorine and home.

 

“ _ Okay- _ ” Jihoon pushes Minhyun away after a few seconds, brain suddenly reminding him that he’d come here to make sure that Minhyun was okay - not to let his heart start thumping hard in his chest again.

 

Minhyun pats gently on the seat beside him, signalling for Jihoon to sit.

 

His legs however, remain rooted to the ground.

 

“Hyung. You can’t keep doing this; texting me, talking to me, asking me to meet you when it’s so late. I thought we made it clear that we were to be even less than friends,” Jihoon folds his arms, trying to make himself look determined.

 

It’s really not working, especially not when Minhyun has that pitiful look on his face.

 

Minhyun runs his hands frustratingly through his damp hair, “I know, Jihoon. Look, I’ll be honest. I can’t. You mean so much more to me and I can’t-”

 

“Stop there,” Jihoon interrupts. “You don’t get to come here and say these sweet things to me and expect me to fall back into your arms. It’s not going to work out. You broke my heart, and by the way, I’ve moved on.”

 

Lies, so many lies.

 

Minhyun stands up, “Then prove it to me. Make me believe that you’re over me.”

 

“I don’t have to prove anything to you,” Jihoon snaps.

 

When Minhyun’s fingers intertwine themselves in Jihoon’s, he finds himself losing all thought of logic and reason again. His brain that he uses to propel himself into the top position in class every test is only thinking of two things:

 

Minhyun and how Minhyun is kissing him.

 

He’s definitely not over Hwang Minhyun.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

Daniel is definitely not getting any sleep tonight. He’s tossing and turning in his bed, trying to force his eyes close but soon finds himself thinking of the scene where two pairs of lips were clearly on each other - right before he had hit the water.

 

It’s no secret to Daniel that Park Jihoon and Hwang Minhyun have history - possibly not a very good one from the way the pair had been acting around each other before.

 

So why were they shoving their tongues down each other’s throats at midnight?

 

It’s none of his business.

 

Minhyun is his teammate and Jihoon is his classmate.

 

That’s all.

 

Seongwoo and Jaehwan had advised Daniel against trying to forge friendships with any of the people that weren’t them - he would only end up being used for fun and laughter. No one in here really wanted to be  _ friends  _ with them.

 

Minhyun clearly hates Daniel.

 

And Jihoon obviously tolerates Daniel.

 

They’re a more than perfect match for each other and they should not be keeping Daniel up at night, not when he is meeting Park Jihoon tomorrow and all that is swimming in his mind is  _ that  _ image.

 

That’s when Jaehwan starts snoring and Daniel knows he will not manage to get a wink of sleep that night.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

Jihoon only pushes Minhyun away when he hears footsteps approaching them and when there is a strong, bright, light coming down the corridor.

 

He holds his breath, afraid to get caught now when a loud noise distracts the security from getting any closer to where Jihoon and Minhyun are standing. He turns around, and sees someone surfacing from the pool, along with two others who are gesturing for him to run away.

 

When the light shines on the tall, dripping wet figure, Jihoon gasps.

 

“Kang Daniel?”

 

_ What the hell is Kang Daniel doing near the pools at midnight?  _

 

“Come on, Jihoon,” Minhyun pulls on Jihoon’s wrist before he can even crane his neck to get a better look at what Daniel is doing here when it is forbidden (he’s aware that he is here too; but his case is special. He has a case of a desperate ex-boyfriend and wandering heart.)

 

Before he knows it, Daniel sprints out of the pool area with his friends and Minhyun drags Jihoon out of the room through another exit.

 

They don’t stop running until the cool air hits their faces and the moonlight shines on Minhyun’s face that Jihoon realises just what he’s done.

 

“Let go of me,” Jihoon shakes Minhyun’s grip off, earning himself a very hurt expression from the other boy which honestly breaks his heart. He’s breathing heavily, both from the running and the makeout session he just had with his ex.

 

This night is off to a terrible start, and Jihoon has no doubt that it will end that way too.

 

“We’re not together anymore, hyung,” Jihoon lays it out for Minhyun.

 

It shouldn’t be so hard, considering Hwang Minhyun is one of the smartest people he’s ever met in his entire life.

 

“Though I’m not sure if we ever were,” Jihoon mutters under his breath.

 

Minhyun hears him anyway, his eyes widening at the words that Jihoon lets slip from his mouth.

 

“I’m sorry,  _ Jihoonie _ , I know I shouldn’t rush into things. I care for you so much and to know that I’ve hurt you- it kills me. I’m not going to ask you to forgive me but can you at least just treat me as a friend?”

 

A  _ friend _ .

 

Jihoon laughs out loud.

 

They had been so much less and so much more once.

 

“I can’t be  _ friends  _ with you, hyung. It’s not that easy.”

 

“Then try,  _ please _ .”

 

_ Try _ . It’s a strange word, now that Jihoon thinks hard about it. There are some things worth trying out.

 

Things like: skydiving, bungee jumping, swimming with the sharks.

 

Things that are definitely not worth trying out include: Being friends with your ex-boyfriend when you clearly still have some feelings for him.

 

“I won’t do anything, I promise. Just let me be there for you,” Minhyun says, hanging his head down low like saying this embarrasses him. Jihoon wouldn’t be surprised - Hwang Minhyun is very prideful. He had to learn that the hard way.

 

When people look at Minhyun, they think of three things, mostly.

 

Brains, top swimmer in college, and cold.

 

Jihoon always agrees with the first two. Without a doubt. For number three, he has his doubts.

 

He thinks of the time Minhyun had skipped training with a high-end level coach just to bring Jihoon some hot soup and wrap him up in blankets when he had the flu.

 

“You’re not leaving me much of a choice, hyung,” Jihoon finally sighs.

 

Minhyun smiles.

 

“Can I walk you back to your dorm?”

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

He’s late again.

 

It’s a very, very important day as well.

 

Daniel just hates how nothing aligns for him. Forget being the best student in his school, why can’t he- for one second, just do things right? Apparently, the coach was not happy with his form today and made him stay back to do another set of laps.

 

Now he’s late to meeting his project partner.

 

“I’m so, so sorry.”

 

“You know, I feel like I’m hearing that a lot from you. Are you apologising for being late or in advance for being a terrible project partner?”

 

Jihoon put effort into his outfit today.

 

Daniel isn’t even surprised by the amount of time these students spend on their appearance anymore - both in time and money. Of course, Jihoon is the poster boy for schools like Monumental, he has to look nice.

 

“Coach held me back,” Daniel deflates against the library chair and takes in the cool air.

 

Jihoon frowns at him from across the table, “Your hair is still wet.”

 

“Well… yeah. I didn’t want to keep you waiting longer so I had to jump in the shower and out in under a minute.”

 

“Oh,” Jihoon’s eyes shift downwards to the notes he had been working on earlier. Daniel notices his very neat handwriting. “Sorry, I’m just in a bad mood today.”

 

Somehow, Jihoon seems to be in a bad mood every time Daniel sees him.

 

“Want to talk about it?”

 

Jihoon’s big eyes widen; if that is even possible. As if he’s shocked at the idea of talking about his troubles to someone.

 

He shakes his head dismissively, “It’s not that easy.”

 

Daniel wonders: for someone that has had it easy his entire life, does Jihoon really think that a boy deserves to be the top of his problems list?

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

Kang Daniel is so noisy when he’s focused. 

 

The pencil in his hand is going to break if he shakes it any harder and honestly it feels like they’re in an earthquake when he shakes his leg.

 

Maybe it’s because Kang Daniel is huge.

 

For that tall figure and broad shoulders - all that energy has to go  _ somewhere _ .

 

“Could you stop it?” Jihoon hisses.

 

Daniel looks up at him innocently.

 

“The  _ shaking _ ,” Jihoon elaborates.

 

“Sorry,” Daniel pouts, like a sad puppy who just got denied attention.

 

Jihoon feels bad  _ again _ .

 

Somehow, this new boy has a way of guilt-tripping the ugly side of Jihoon and bring out a nicer side that Jihoon  _ himself  _ hasn’t even gotten in touch with.

 

“I have class,” Jihoon says, packing his books, and ignoring how Daniel’s pout flips upside down.. “We’ll split the work - I’ll take history and you can decide on the three films we’re going to watch and write reports on.”

 

“Sweet,” Daniel grins. “So I have the authority to choose whatever we get to watch?”

 

Jihoon does not like the sound of that nor the evil smile spreading on Daniel’s lips.

 

“Just don’t choose anything stupid.”

 

Daniel holds out his big hands.

 

_ God  _ \- do all the swimmers in this world have such large palms? 

 

Jihoon’s pales in comparison to theirs.

 

“Give me your number. I’ll text you my choices,” Daniel says.

 

He’s running late, so Jihoon quickly types in his number and receive Daniel’s as well.

 

“Guess you just got the number of the most handsome guy in school,” Daniel declares so loudly that the students sitting at the desk beside them snicker when they look at him; and then at Jihoon who is suddenly turning bright red.

 

For no fucking reason at all. It’s getting especially hot in here suddenly.

 

“I doubt it,” though Jihoon tries his best to sound unaffected and tough in front of everyone else, he can’t help it and a small smile dances on his lips. He quickly suppresses it before anyone sees.

 

“Don’t ignore my messages, Park Jihoon! I’ll be sad!”

 

Jihoon just hopes Daniel doesn’t get himself kicked out of the library.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

Daniel takes Jihoon’s small smile as a win for today.

 

Even though his day has been an absolute disaster, he thinks he can make peace with whichever God that has control over his life when they decided that he would be able to witness Park Jihoon smile at least once.

 

And maybe he understands-

 

-why someone as rude and unapproachable as Hwang Minhyun would allow his heart to be taken by someone like Jihoon.

 

The smallest of smiles from a particular boy has Daniel walking on Cloud Nine the entire day, and he doesn’t even know the hell why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you think the nielwink is slowburn then i have some good/bad news for you: it is.
> 
> i know the chapters are not majority nielwink yet, i promise it will come and it will come very soon!
> 
> thank you all for reading and sending me so much support on this story!!
> 
> your comments always keep me motivated to write more and update faster!<3


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A dangerous bet is made.

_ Breathe _ .

 

Always remember to breathe.

 

“Breathe, Kang!” his coach bellows from the sidelines, tracking his time while yelling at Daniel as if it’s going to make him go any faster. He wishes he could roll his eyes in the water but unfortunately, if he doesn’t beat his personal record he’d set two weeks ago, he’s going to land himself in a lot of extra training.

 

And extra dieting.

 

Daniel remembers to take his breaths, short ones, when he lifts his head to the side and takes in a breath of fresh air into his lungs. He pulls himself forward, focusing on nothing but going faster until he finally feels his fingers hitting the wall.

 

He removes his goggles, rubs his eyes hard to only frown at the timing on his coach’s watch.

 

“You’re not improving at all, Kang. Do you want to lose your scholarship, is that it? Are you getting cocky because you got a free pass into this place?”

 

“No, Sir,” he dips his head in embarrassment.

 

“Then you better come here every night and train till you prove yourself worthy of being here. Dismissed.”

 

Lifting himself out of the pool, he feels the other swimmers’ stares on him. None of them talk to him; except for Dongho who he barely trusts anymore. He’d seen the swimmer’s true colours back at that party.

 

Jisung had been right about this place - never trust anyone.

 

Just then, Hwang Minhyun strolls into the arena when their coach leaves, conveniently avoiding all the questions that their coach had raised about his disappearance this morning that none of them could answer to.

 

Daniel never looks directly at Minhyun; he doesn’t want any trouble. He just wants to mind his own business, swim well, and get the hell out of this place.

 

“Hwang,” Dongho calls from the benches.

 

Then, they all lower their voices and Daniel can’t hear much of their conversation anymore. It’s not like he’s interested to hear about who they slept with last night, or whose parents have the most money. This might be an elite school, but it is evident that none of these people have any class.

 

Dongho stuffs something into Minhyun’s shorts pocket, which he tries to push back to Dongho, as if rejecting it.

 

“Minhyun, just take it,” he hears Jonghyun saying.

 

And finally, Minhyun relents, letting Dongho pat him on his back encouragingly.

 

It baffles Daniel that for someone who looks as upright as Minhyun, he would do anything his friends are trying to get him into.

 

But that is not his battle to fight. Daniel just grabs his towel, and heads into the showers. The only good thing they have in this school is the hot water. He thinks he has to thank  _ their  _ parents for that, probably.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

“You have some nerve, Jihoon. Sometimes I wonder if you think with your dick or your brain that helps you get first in class everytime,” Woojin says, stuffing a potato salad into his mouth.

 

Competitions are coming up soon and all the student athletes are cramping down on their diets. Jihoon thinks that is sad really. At the least, you have to eat well to perform well. He thoroughly enjoys the beef bowl that their cafeteria serves on Wednesdays.

 

“If you let this out I promise you I will be thinking with  _ only  _ my fist,” Jihoon threatens.

 

He had met Woojin at one of those parties the seniors had organised. Though not the most popular or smartest student in school, Woojin has always been well-known for being hardworking. To Jihoon, he’s a loyal friend and honestly a lot less temperamental than Donghan. (Though recently, the diet thing has been making Woojin a lot more cranky.)

 

That is why he tells Woojin instead of Donghan about the thing that happened with Minhyun a few days ago.

 

“So what if he has a handsome face, a bright future and one of the richest families in Seoul. Oh,  _ sorry _ . I forgot everyone here is materialistic as fuck,” Woojin smiles sweetly as if he hasn’t just said something that would probably get him maimed if anyone else had heard him.

 

You see, not everyone in here is as accepting as Jihoon about differing views of the people that study in here.

 

“He’s a nice person,” Jihoon protests meekly. “He was sweet to me when we were dating.”

 

“And to everyone else?” Woojin prompts.

 

Jihoon can’t answer to that question.

 

Fuck that, Woojin is right.

 

It’s because  _ he doesn’t like _ the answer to that question.

 

To Jihoon, Minhyun is a misunderstood soul. He’s aware how cold the other boy can be towards complete strangers, which is why he’d been scared out of his wits when he’d tripped on his first day in school and spilled soup all over Minhyun’s expensive shirt.

 

He smiles, remembering how much he had stammered and offered to pay for the dry cleaning.

 

“Jihoon, sometimes I wish you’d remember how he’d treated you after you two broke up. And have you forgotten the entire reason why you did?”

 

Jihoon shuts his eyes, already pushing the memory out of his head.

 

“I’ve got to go,” Jihoon lies through his teeth. “Sorry, Park. Let’s catch up next time.”

 

He doesn’t wait for Woojin’s answer; plus it was the other boy’s fault for bringing that up in the first place. It always brings Jihoon to a place that is dark and frightening. He grabs his bag and u-turns into a dark classroom.

 

A blank face stuck in the middle of chewing through a sandwich greets him.

 

“Hey,” Kang Daniel says, voice muffled by a stuffed mouth. “You’re eating lunch here, too?”

 

Somehow, the black hoodie thrown over Daniel’s wide shoulders comforts Jihoon a little bit. It’s almost as if he doesn’t feel the pressure to be prim and proper in here. He takes a seat a row behind where Daniel is sitting.

 

“No, I just don’t feel like being outside right now,” Jihoon confesses.

 

Daniel knows nothing about Jihoon, and maybe that is why it is easier for Jihoon to talk about his true feelings. 

 

The swimmer wipes his lips, grins and replies, “Well, welcome back to the normal world. We’re happy to have you back, Park Jihoon.”

 

Jihoon wishes someone would have told him he could’ve come back earlier.

 

Maybe then he wouldn’t be so fucked up in the head.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

“You’re such a big person,” Jihoon fixes his gaze on Daniel. It makes him feel a little small under the other boy’s intense stare despite his physique. “Why are you only eating one sandwich?”

 

“Maybe I’m just someone who doesn’t eat much,” Daniel snaps back, a little offended at the implication that just because he is a big boy, he has a big appetite.

 

Not that Jihoon is wrong, though.

 

“Fine,” Daniel admits. “I haven’t been doing well at swim practice so my coach told me to cut down on the calories so I could lose some weight before the competitions begin.”

 

Now he sounds like a loser.

 

He just swallows the last bit of his sandwich bitterly. Thank God the class is dark so he doesn’t have to see the look on Jihoon’s face right now - though he thinks that his guess wouldn’t be too much of a wild one. For someone who excels in everything and anything, Jihoon probably pities him for wallowing in self-pity.

 

“Still,” Jihoon insists. “If you don’t eat enough, then how will you have the energy to train?”

 

“Ask my coach,” Daniel shrugs.

 

Daniel grins then, realising something very important.

 

“You’re worried about me.”

 

Jihoon sputters, suddenly defensive “ _ N-no! _ Who says? I barely know you. You’re just someone I got paired up with, just someone I brought home once because you were drunk. I don’t even know you so why would I be worried about you?”

 

He’s flustered.

 

“Then get to know me,” Daniel says flatly, without much expression.

 

Jihoon crosses his arms, and Daniel can tell he’s guarded. He’s so close to telling himself that it’s not worth it; he’s just like everyone else in this place. There’s no point in trying to believe that anyone could be anything better than cordial.

 

Sometimes, Daniel can’t tell if the smile he gets from others is real anymore.

 

Who’s to say Jihoon is any different?

 

For a moment, there’s silence on Jihoon’s end, making Daniel laugh emptily.

 

“Of course,” he shakes his head, packing his things because he’s made it a habit not to be late for class anymore. “Why would someone like you want to get to know someone like-”

 

“I’ll get to know you.”

 

Jihoon stands up, as if determined to do something.

 

He holds his hand out to Daniel.

 

“And you can get to know me,” Jihoon adds, gulping.  _ Is he actually nervous about being friends with people? _ He takes a deep breath before saying, “But I don’t know what you’re expecting, Kang Daniel. I’ll warn you first - it’s not pretty.”

 

Daniel takes Jihoon’s small hand in his. It’s cold, probably because Jihoon isn’t wearing a jacket in this air-conditioned blasting classroom. But he has a warm smile, or at least Daniel thinks he does.

 

“It doesn’t have to be.”

 

And he’s speaking the truth.

 

He’s not perfect either - but he at least wants to try.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

“Why don’t you come over to my room later?” Jihoon offers. “We have to go through what movies we want to watch for our project, anyway. There are too many people in the library and I think we’d concentrate better alone.”

 

_ Alone _ , Daniel thinks.

 

He wonders how Jihoon’s room would look like. The fact that he’s using a room alone already screams privilege but Daniel keeps his mouth shut about that opinion. He’s forcing himself not to be bitter; at least not to Jihoon who is making the effort.

 

Jihoon, who stands in front of Daniel in his branded shirt and tight jeans.

 

Somehow, he feels like Jihoon is so much more beneath those.

 

“That sounds nice,” Daniel nods. “Though I have to run off at night for extra practice.”

 

“Okay.  _ Um-  _ well, goodbye then.” Jihoon clears his throat and strides away awkwardly, not even looking back at Daniel once.

 

Daniel watches him leave, as if he’s under some kind of strange spell. He can’t look away.

 

“Hey!” someone jumps on his back.

 

“Hyung!” he protests loudly amidst the dirty looks they’re getting from the other students in the hallway. Seongwoo just grins back at him, already immune to the reactions he’s used to getting. “ _ Never _ jump on me like that again.”

 

“So what,” Seongwoo leans against the wall, enjoying Daniel’s freaked out face. “You wouldn’t hurt a fly if you had to.”

 

Seongwoo pulls Daniel closer, lowering his voice, “Also, was that Park Jihoon who you just said goodbye to? Are you out of your damn mind, Daniel?”

 

Daniel smiles proudly, “Yeah, that’s him. I think we’re friends now.”

 

The handshake still leaves him a little giddy, and he doesn’t even know why.

 

“You don’t just become friends with people like Park Jihoon,” Seongwoo warns.

 

Daniel frowns, ready to defend his new friend, “Jihoon is nice-”

 

And the he turns around, and feels his stomach drop to his feet.

 

He has no idea where Hwang Minhyun had showed up from, but there’s no mistaking the fond smile Daniel has never seen on Minhyun’s face in the entire time that he’s been here when Minhyun slides up beside Jihoon and whispers something into his ear that makes the smaller boy blush up to the tips of his ears.

 

“Even when he’s a dick, he’s so sweet,” Seongwoo sighs dreamily from the sidelines.

 

“I have to go hyung, see you later,” Daniel mumbles his half-hearted goodbye before heading upstairs for a class he’s probably already late for.

 

He has no idea why - but the sight of Hwang Minhyun next to Jihoon leaves a very bad taste in his mouth. One that he can never point out the reason for.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

A friend?

 

Is that what Kang Daniel is to Jihoon?

 

To Jihoon, his friends can probably be counted on one hand. Donghan is his friend, and Woojin is his friend. He thinks he can probably count Daehwi although he’s sure that Daehwi hates his guts sometimes.

 

It just doesn’t seem real that a friendship between him and Daniel could have been formed out of nothing. No favours exchanged - it had happened only because they had shook on it.

 

“Hey.”

 

Jihoon lifts his eyes from off the floor for the first time in a long while, and his chest tightens immediately as Minhyun takes the books in his arms off and naturally starts to walk beside JIhoon.

 

“What are you doing?” Jihoon hisses, trying to get the books back.

 

Minhyun lowers his head, whispering into his ear and making the hair on his back stand (in a bad or good way, Jihoon can’t decide), “I told you I’m trying, Jihoon. I’m not going to make the same mistakes I did before.”

 

His face heats up instantly at the mention of their past, and Jihoon whips his head immediately to see if anyone had heard them. No doubt they are raising some suspicious looks from onlookers, it seems like no one had overheard their conversation.

 

“Hyung. I still don’t want to talk to you yet,” Jihoon protests softly, knowing he can probably never take a stronger stand against Minhyun. His heart is still soft, and Minhyun is as handsome as ever.

 

“ _ Try _ , Jihoon. Don’t think of me as anything more than your friend,” Minhyun replies casually.

 

There’s that word again.

 

Friends.

 

In just an hour - Jihoon has gained two more friends.

 

His ex-boyfriend, and another boy that he still cannot figure out the true intentions of.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

“Hi.”

 

“Your room is huge,” Daniel can’t help but mumble under his breath as a hello, taking his time to look around Jihoon’s dorm. Not only is it already twice as large as the one he shares with his two friends, the paint job and furniture is of top quality.

 

Jihoon just shifts uncomfortably in place, “I don’t have much to offer you. Soda?”

 

“Soda sounds good, might as well indulge when my coach isn’t looking,” Daniel shrugs, setting his bag down and looks around while Jihoon disappears into another room that he didn’t even know was there in the first place.

 

He doesn’t know what he expects from Park Jihoon, but it is most definitely not pictures of his family and friends and… 

 

“You have a dog?” Daniel asks while picking up a framed picture of Jihoon holding a tiny puppy in his hands - probably not even a few months old. He coos internally at the cuteness radiating from just one picture. 

 

Jihoon must have been one to two years younger then.

 

“His name is Max,” Jihoon says, peering over Daniel’s shoulder to see what he’s looking at. “I wish I could pay for him to stay in here but no means no. I still go back to see him every holiday.”

 

“I have cats,” Daniel offers. “Three of them. If I rescued anymore I think my mother would have my head.”

 

He wishes he were at home now, with his cats. In the only place he ever feels safe. Putting down the picture of Jihoon and Max, he peers at the other frames on the dressing table.

 

“You know we really should-”

 

“ _ Is this you? _ ” something else catches Daniel’s eye as he holds up a picture of Jihoon with his parents. But the more important thing is that Park Jihoon, the school’s most put together student is wearing one of the most hideous sweaters he’s ever laid eyes on in his life. Even the one his grandma knits for Daniel on Christmas cannot compare to this monstrosity.

 

Jihoon makes a grab for the photo, but Daniel holds it just out of reach, nicely taking advantage of their very obvious height difference.

 

“Was this in high school?” Daniel adds, “Oh my God, you looked so cute in it. Do you still have that sweater.”

 

“Let it go!” Jihoon makes a particularly high jump and snatches the picture back, hiding it in a drawer behind him and then promptly locking it. “Never speak of that. I will end you and your life in this school.”

 

“I’m sure you will,” Daniel smirks at the empty threat, focusing his attention on the other picture frames.

 

Jihoon tugs on his shirt, “Kang Daniel, I didn’t invite you here to play around.”

 

Daniel just ignores Jihoon’s protests, loving how red Jihoon is getting behind his ears. Because let’s be real; the only person that has gotten Jihoon so worked up and flustered has been Hwang Minhyun and Hwang Minhyun  _ only _ .

 

“Who’s this girl?  _ Your girlf- _ ”

 

The words are lost on Daniel’s lips when Jihoon pulls him away particularly hard (boy he does have a lot of strength hidden in his smaller frame) and drops the picture on the desk. He turns around to lecture Jihoon, until he trips over his own feet-

 

And crap, he’s  _ this close _ to kissing Jihoon on his lips.

 

Barely stabilizing himself with a hand on the wardrobe behind Jihoon, Daniel pants hard at the mere proximity between him and Jihoon, who looks too shocked to say, or do anything either. Daniel swallows hard, his heart in his chest.

 

“ _ Ya- _ ” Jihoon’s voice is deep, but shaky. “Get off me.”

 

“ _ You get off _ -” Daniel argues childishly till he realises he has Jihoon trapped between his chest and the wardrobe. “Oh, I’m sorry.”

 

Jihoon pretends to dust at his shirt even though it’s spotless, “I told you not to play around.”

 

The playful and mischievous atmosphere from before is nowhere to be found now that it finally dawns on Daniel just how close they had come to being… well…

 

_ Intimate _ .

 

He’s never thought of Jihoon like that. Not ever since the first day that had met and left terrible impressions on each other. This changes nothing, definitely nothing.

 

Especially not when Jihoon’s heart is so obviously taken by someone else.

 

“Should we start?” Daniel clears his throat to cut through the tense atmosphere, as if they’re both too wary of the other’s actions.

 

Jihoon just nods and gestures for Daniel to sit down.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

_ That did not just happen _ .

 

Jihoon buries his face into his macbook, happy that his face is hidden by the screen so that he doesn’t have to stare at Kang Daniel right now. True enough, he was just playing around, and Jihoon just had to take it to the next level.

 

“What do you think about La La Land?” Daniel suggests.

 

“Sure, I guess” Jihoon answers without even thinking, not wanting to engage in any sort of conversation right now - even if what matters most to him is his grades.

 

Definitely not how he’d come so close to kissing Kang Daniel.

 

It was just an accident. It happens to friends all the time.  _ (Does it?) _

 

“A close hyung of mine recommended for us to check out a list of horror movies.”

 

Jihoon shudders. He’s never been that much a fan of horror movies, but he doesn’t hate it either. It just so happens that watching a horror movie is on their assignment - something about investigating the psychology behind why it is one of the most popular genres amongst teenagers like themselves.

 

“Just choose any one you think you won’t scream at,” Jihoon replies, taking a jab at Daniel just because he feels like it.

 

There’s just  _ something  _ about Kang Daniel.

 

Something that brings out Jihoon’s natural snarky side but with no actual menace behind it.

 

It must be something related to the natural pout that forms on the muscular swimmer’s face.

 

“You’re scared of horror movies,” Jihoon holds back a chuckle, but obviously fails.

 

“I just don’t see the fun in scaring yourself and then not being able to sleep at night after,” Daniel puts up a very weak argument that even he looks like he doesn’t believe in. Jihoon is right - Kang Daniel is scared of ghosts and horror movies.

 

“We should make a bet.”

 

“On what?”

 

“Well - whoever screams more at the horror movie can buy the other dinner.”

 

Daniel’s face falls tragically, “You just want an excuse to suck the money out of me! And may I remind you- you’re the one with this huge room while I am a pitiful student on scholarship. That’s just unfair.”

 

That’s true. Jihoon does have the upperhand in this so-called bet he had thrown out the window very casually. Now it seems like there is something worth fighting for - he would love to see Kang Daniel taking out his wallet for him. (Sadistic? No. Just competitive.)

 

Also, he’s always jumping at the chance to make a school assignment something more. It’s boring if they actually just watch the movie and write a report about it.

 

“Just once. I just need to be scared  _ once  _ \- either I flinch or I make a noise. I’m betting I wouldn’t even blink when the ghosts show up on screen.”

 

Daniel’s frown turns upside down; coupled with his signature eye smile that Jihoon has been too used to seeing. (And probably wouldn’t mind seeing more because it does give him a certain warm feeling in his chest.)

 

“Challenge accepted,” Daniel holds out his hand.

 

Jihoon shakes it, determined to bleed Daniel’s wallet dry.

 

“I’m warning you - I have expensive taste,” Jihoon smirks.

 

“And I have more brains than you think,” Daniel snaps back smartly.

 

Not only brains. 

 

Daniel has a lot more charms than Jihoon had expected from a mere fresh face.

 

Something tells him that winning this bet won’t be easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the slow updates! :(
> 
> i'm busy with school and other exciting things but don't worry i will try to update regularly!!
> 
> comments are always appreciated by me<3


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> now let the games begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the slow updates for this story ;---; ive been busy with nielwink month works if you haven't already read my new stories for nwm dont forget to check them out!!
> 
> enjoy the next chapter :)

“Guys, this is Park Jihoon. He will be joining us for lunch today.”

 

Maybe it isn’t the best idea to bring Jihoon to the table without informing his friends beforehand. With the way Seongwoo’s and Jaehwan’s jaws are hanging wide open distastefully for everyone to see, there’s no mistaking Daniel could have handled this meeting a lot better.

 

Jihoon, too, does not look too enthusiastic with this set-up. Yes, Daniel had asked Jihoon out for lunch first after class today- saying something along the lines of, _“You said you wanted to get to know me, so get to know my friends too.”_

 

Daniel is very determined to break the stereotypes that elite students can also be friends with the… not so elite students in their college.

 

“Maybe I’m not welcome here,” Jihoon says stiffly when a long silence transcends between the four boys, and turns to leave without another word.

 

“Seriously, Daniel,” Jaehwan shakes his head mockingly as Daniel can only helplessly watch Jihoon disappear into the crowds of people with too-perfect smiles. He’s gone; too far for Daniel to catch him again.

 

“At least you tried, buddy,” Seongwoo smiles sadly at Daniel, stabbing his food aimlessly with his fork. “It’s just not going to work out. We’re too different.”

 

“You weren’t exactly welcoming to him either,” Daniel snaps back, not after wondering why the hell he’s standing up for Jihoon in front of his friends anyway.

 

“You have no idea what us scholarship students have to go through with this self-entitled people - in class, at the dorms, at parties,” Jaehwan shrugs, almost like it’s nothing anymore. “This isn’t a place for people to make friends, Daniel.”

 

Seongwoo hums softly, “Let’s just keep our heads low and get the fuck out of here as fast as we can, huh?”

 

Daniel can only stare at his empty lunchbox, remembering he’d eaten the sandwich he was supposed to save for lunch earlier after training, where his stomach was growling too much to ignore in class.

 

“Here,” Jaehwan pushes his tray of food towards Daniel. “They’re serving beef today.”

 

Daniel swallows his temptations, “It’s okay. Coach won’t be happy to see me bulking up right before the competitions.”

 

He just tries his best to ignore the gnawing hunger in his empty stomach and the way Jihoon gladly takes his place at the swimmer’s table when Minhyun pulls him over and insists on him staying.

 

Maybe Jaehwan and Seongwoo are right.

 

〰️

 

“It’s been so long, Jihoonie,” Minki practically purrs at Jihoon.

 

Jihoon can only stare helplessly at the person he feels most comfortable with at the table which is… his ex-boyfriend. Great.  Minhyun’s arm is slung over his shoulder, preventing him from running away as soon as he sees another familiar face.

 

“Well, Minhyun hyung broke up with me. I don’t think there’s a need to meet up with you after that, is there?”

 

He fixes his gaze onto Minhyun when he says this just because he wants to see how Minhyun will react.

 

The other is only as expressionless as he comes. The other swimmers at the table all laugh it off, some whistle and hoot for Minhyun to make another move. It’s nauseating, really. Jihoon isn’t some toy for Minhyun to keep and throw away as he likes.

 

Maybe he understands - why Daniel’s friends look at him like they’re looking at a monster. Without him knowing, he’s unconsciously become one of them. When they’re all sitting at the same table, it’s easy to mistake all of them for the same person.

 

They move in groups, laugh loudly, and specially exclude another swimmer from the table.

 

When Jihoon cranes his neck to get another look at Daniel - he sees the other boy lying with his head down on the table, away from the crowd.

 

There’s a lump in Jihoon’s throat that he just cannot swallow when he sees Daniel like that.

 

He just looks away when someone calls his name.

 

It’s Woojin - thank the heavens.

 

“I _uh_ \- forgot I was going to eat lunch with Woojin. I guess I’ll leave, then,” Jihoon says, practically peeling Minhyun’s arm off his shoulder before bolting off to the back of the cafeteria, where Woojin is already eyeing him with those eyes Jihoon knows are getting ready to lecture him.

 

〰️

 

“How is it so easy for you?”

 

Woojin’s not talking - he’s never been much of a talker anyway; especially when he’s eating. And while Jihoon would usually understand, he just can’t keep the curiosity off the table.

 

“How do you be normal - how are you so indifferent about being friends with those scholarship students when you know the entire student body wants them out.”

 

Jihoon doesn’t know if he’s part of the so-called “student body” he talks about.

 

It’s not as easily said as done. This is no disneyland where everybody is friends with each other. Every move you make is carefully calculated and scrutinized by the person behind you. Being chirpy with the “outsiders” could get you into serious trouble.

 

Woojin scoffs.

 

“For someone who tops his class almost every term, you are very, very dense.”

 

“Fuck you, Park,” Jihoon snaps. An insult to his intellectual ability is completely off the table. But when he sees Woojin smiling instead of planning a snark reply back, he wonders again if it was all a carefully laid out plan by Woojin.

 

Park Woojin, the forgotten star player of the school’s soccer team.

 

For helping Kim Jaehwan out with his exams when he was struggling last term, he had been benched for every game after that. Apparently, rumours had gone around and the other players were not happy at all.

 

Jihoon thinks it’s a complete waste of Woojin’s ability.

 

For one tiny mistake, Woojin will probably never get to play for the school ever again. Yet, he remains as oblivious to the dwindling number of friends around him.

 

It’s almost as if Woojin prefers this much more.

 

“It’s easy to be me,” Woojin smiles. “To be someone I’m not - that’s where it gets hard.”

 

“You haven’t played for the team in months,” Jihoon stresses. “And you’re a prodigy.”

 

“And so what,” Woojin challenges. “If I wanted to be a terrible person just to play football, I could. But you know - other things matter.”

 

It’s hard to believe Woojin. It’s really hard. Not when Jihoon has been conditioned to be the best at everything; to stop at nothing to be the top.

 

“Start small, Jihoon. Open your eyes,” Woojin shrugs, pointing to the left of Jihoon’s chest.

 

“That’s not my-” Jihoon begins.

 

And then he realises.

 

“ _Oh_ ,” he finally says.

 

〰️

 

“I’m sorry for walking away just now.”

 

Daniel lifts his head from his books. Jihoon squints at the doodles he’d been making at the corner and he closes the book immediately, embarrassed to be caught when he was supposed to be researching on something for their research - that thought he’s completely thrown out the window, by the way.

 

“I should have stayed,” Jihoon mumbles, and Daniel doesn’t know if it’s because he’s in the library, or he just doesn’t have the guts to say it any louder.

 

“I should have told you,” Daniel shrugs. “They weren’t ready to meet you either - I was too hasty, just trying to make things better between you and- well, us.”

 

“Figures, I’m probably a terrible person in their eyes.”

 

Daniel keeps quiet - he can’t say anything. Sometimes, Jihoon does things that Daniel cannot understand either. Like why they have to take the corner in the library where no one can see them.

 

“Give me some time, I swear I’ll try,” Jihoon says.

 

Daniel likes that word - _try_.

 

He nods numbly.

 

“Okay, come on. What’s wrong,” Jihoon puts down the pen in his hand and looks directly at Daniel.

 

“What?” he replies back.

 

“You’re,” Jihoon gestures weirdly to Daniel’s head. “Acting weird. Where’s the loud and enthusiastic Kang Daniel?”

 

“This is a library.”

 

‘Didn’t stop you the last time,” Jihoon says without even missing a beat.

 

“Fine,” Daniel deadpans. “I’m tired.”

 

Deadbeat tired. Exhausted, really. He can barely keep his eyes open. The only reason he isn’t snoring in the library yet is that he could really use without more stares in the hallway.

 

“Seriously, does your coach not let you rest?”

 

“Not when I’m clocking slower and slower every time,” Daniel pouts. He tries his best, but there’s no explanation for why he’s getting slower with every lap. Even he’s starting to lose some confidence in himself.

 

“Let’s go,” Jihoon finally decides, and starts packing his things.

 

“Go where?” Daniel tries to stretch to wake himself up but all it does is make him wish he were curled up in his bed.

 

“Up, big guy,” Jihoon says, pulling Daniel up by the arm. “We’re both going to take a nap. And when you wake up - we’re going to continue this.”

 

The sun shines directly on Daniel when they exit the library, and he hugs his jacket closer to him. Is that the ground spinning?

 

“I don’t get how you can be so tired every time- it’s not right. I’m going to take this up with the Coach, or it’s going to affect our grades so badly. Hey, are you even listening to me?”

 

Jihoon’s voice sounds like background noise and the more Daniel tries to listen, the more his ears ring as his heartbeat speeds up.

 

“Kang Daniel- hey!”

 

Daniel knows he’s falling, but has no strength left to stop himself.

 

Everything from then on is black.

 

〰️

 

Jihoon paces around the ward anxiously. The school nurse just shoots him a smile and says, “Don’t worry. He should wake up soon.”

 

But how is Jihoon supposed to not worry - when he’d seen Daniel fall onto the ground with such a huge impact, and go unconcious all of a sudden. He’s so lucky that another student had rushed in to help, and together they brought Daniel to the school’s doctor.

 

Daniel looks peaceful when he’s sleeping; almost as if it’s been a long time since he’s slept this comfortably even though the bed does not look soft.

 

He’d fainted from hunger and exhaustion.

 

Jihoon shouldn’t have ignored the warning signs.

 

He couldn’t have known - but he should have.

 

“- _hoon_?”

 

“Oh, you’re awake.”

 

Daniel looks very confused as he surveys the ward and the blanket over his body.

 

“You fainted,” Jihoon says sternly. He’s more angry at Daniel than himself. How had the man been taking care of himself until now.

 

“What did you eat for lunch?” he interrogates.

 

Daniel looks blankly at him.

 

“Last night?” he prompts.

 

“Coach said I had to lose some weight to become faster,” Daniel protests meekly.

 

Jihoon has to stand up and massage his own temples in order to not lose his shit in front of the doctor, nurse, and Daniel right now. But he’s fuming with anger at Daniel’s stupidity. It could have been really bad.

 

_What if Jihoon hadn’t been there with him? What if his head had hit the ground? What if-_

 

“Jihoon?” Daniel calls out.

 

Daniel looks apologetic, like a sad puppy being reprimanded.

 

 _No_. Not a puppy. Because puppies are cute. _No_ \- Jihoon chides himself.

 

“Thank you for bringing me here.”

 

“No thank you to you for scaring the hell out of me-” Jihoon barely holds himself back from exploding into another speech when he sees Daniel grinning.

 

“What.”

 

“Nothing,” Daniel giggles. “It’s just really nice to see you caring for me.”

 

Jihoon’s face flushes into an embarrassing shade of pink, and he knows because it’s suddenly very hot in this room.

 

“I’m not-” he sputters. “You just happened to faint near me-!”

 

“I know,” Daniel replies, in a voice dripped with pure honey as he tries to calm Jihoon down. “I’m really, really, glad you were there for me.”

 

Jihoon just sighs.

 

He shouldn’t be thinking too much about something that doesn’t mean anything.

 

“Grab your stuff. We’re leaving.”

 

“Not if you don’t give me a “get well soon” kiss!”

 

The nurse only smiles knowingly at Jihoon who turns beet red at the door.

 

“I’m leaving!” Jihoon announces, slamming the door behind him hard.

 

He does walk a bit slower after that, just enough to hear Daniel thanking the doctor and nurse over ten times, then rush out and try to keep up with Jihoon.

 

Jihoon almost chokes when Daniel slings an arm around his shoulder, bringing their bodies close together.

 

“What are you doing,” Jihoon snaps, almost offended.

 

“I’m sick,” Daniel wriggles his eyebrows. It’s the medication - it’s definitely some kind of magic medication the doctor had give Daniel to suddenly make him so...

 

 _No_.

 

So _nothing_.

 

Because Jihoon feels _nothing_.

 

Not even when Daniel leans his body against Jihoon’s smaller one for support when he pretends to limp back into campus. Not even when students are giving them strange looks and whispering between themselves.

 

Is this how Woojin had felt - because it is a strangely a good feeling not to give a fuck about anything else other than the boy who has a smile that could put the sun to shame.

 

〰️

 

“Can I say thank you again or will you punch me in the face before the words come out?”

 

Daniel knows he’s pushing his limits but for some reason, the usually cold and unresponsive Jihoon seems very receptive of Daniel’s teasing today. He thinks it may have something to do with himself fainting earlier on.

 

“I will end you before your hunger does if you do not eat,” Jihoon says very seriously.

 

Daniel takes out his keys. It’s quite late already. He had spent quite a bit of time sleeping earlier on and he can see from Jihoon’s chapped and pale lips that he was very worried about Daniel earlier.

 

“I’ll make it up to you, I promise,” Daniel replies as he unlocks his door. He can already hear Jaehwan belting up some notes from inside. (The worst part about the whole thing is that Jaehwan can actually sing so Daniel can’t ask him to shut up.)

 

“Make it up to me by having regular meals and enough sleep,” Jihoon scoffs.

 

It’s heart-racing, to have Jihoon suddenly become so much friendlier to him.

 

Well not /that/ kind of heart-racing but the kind that makes Daniel very warm inside and happy with their progress that he would not have expected when he’d first came to this school.

 

“You want to come in and say hi?” Daniel gestures inside.

 

Jihoon chews on his lower lip.

 

Maybe he’s pushing it a bit too much.

 

“It’s okay,” he assures Jihoon. “This is enough.”

 

Whatever Jihoon has his reservations about - Daniel is not going to force him into doing something he’s not comfortable with. He figures it would be better to wait than destroy it completely now.

 

Jihoon breathes a sigh of relief.

 

It’s a mere observation - but Daniel thinks that Jihoon’s eyes are very pretty.

 

“Anymore staring and I’ll have to charge,” Jihoon clears his throat.

 

Daniel will hold that thought for a moment.

 

“Ah- I wasn’t staring. I’ll go in now,” Daniel says.

 

Jihoon just nods.

 

“Bye,” Daniel says softly.

 

“Eat,” is all Jihoon says in response.

 

When he closes the door behind him, Daniel gets attacked by two monsters.

 

〰️

 

“I cannot believe,” Jaehwan just says. “That you are trying to get us to become friends. It is impossible.”

 

“It’s not impossible if we just try,” Daniel says, changing out of his shirt to a fresh one.

 

“It’s impossible if the person is Park Jihoon! If there’s anyone more “elite” than the word “elite”, it’s Park Jihoon! Do you know how many people would fight for his number at parties - just to get in his good books?” Jaehwan visibly shudders.

 

Seongwoo rubs Jaehwan’s shoulder encouragingly.

 

“What Jaehwan is trying to say is, you don’t know what you’re up against,” Seongwoo repeats. “You think it’s going to be easy because you haven’t been here long - but we know, and we’ve tried. It’s not going to end well.”

 

Daniel feels his anger rising before he can even stop it.

 

“Would it kill you to give them another chance, give Jihoon a chance?”

 

“Give him a chance- oh. Great, Daniel. Just great. Just when I thought we could trust you but it turns out there are not one but two loonies in this house in love with _the elites_. Well, suit yourselves. I’m not giving them even the tiniest chance to ruin my life.”

 

Seongwoo’s protests can’t even mirror Daniel’s.

 

“Is this what it’s about?” he looks at Seongwoo. “Just because he’s Minhyun’s ex and you can’t take that - and you don’t want to talk to him? Seriously?”

 

“It’s not about that, Daniel-” Seongwoo sighs.

 

“It sure as hell sounds like jealousy to me. Maybe it is jealousy,” Daniel says. “Maybe it’s jealousy that divides us. We’re not any better than them, but at least I’m not going to be jealous of what they have.”

 

Daniel storms out of the door.

 

He didn’t actually have much of a plan as to where to go after that - so he goes to where he feels the safest.

 

〰️

 

The pool is exceptionally quiet tonight and it is too late when Daniel remembers that Minhyun has his private training sessions on Tuesday nights. It has something to do with him being privileged and rich and all that.

 

See - he’d just given Seongwoo and Jaehwan a lecture on jealousy and here he is.

 

Now that his plans for the night has been ruined, there’s actually no where to go.

 

“Kang Daniel.”

 

“I’m walking away,” Daniel deadpans, turning away from the pool once Hwang Minhyun pulls himself up the ladder and starts walking towards him.

 

“Stop there.”

 

“I don’t want to be bothered,” Daniel sighs. “Really, just leave me alone.”

 

“Really?” Minhyun grips onto his arm. “I could say the same thing to you. What’s the deal with you?”

 

“What’s the deal with me?” Daniel really doesn’t know. Minhyun always appears to have some problems with Daniel. It could be anything - from the way he walked to probably the way he breathed around Minhyun or something.

 

The Elites are surprising him every single day.

 

Minhyun’s hair is still dripping wet from the pool, wetting Daniel’s shirt when he steps a bit too close - into his private space.

 

“What your deal,” Minhyun sucks in the air, almost as if it’s hard for him to say this aloud, “With _Jihoon_.”

 

So this is what this is all about.

 

“Jihoon, huh.”

 

Daniel’s not stupid. He’s not going to give Minhyun what he wants; not when he knows what all the swimmer wants to hear is “there’s nothing going on between me and Jihoon” which is essentially the truth.

 

Minhyun doesn’t need to know that.

 

“Yeah. I saw you- I have eyes and ears all around the school. You two were acting chummy this afternoon.”

 

“And it’s your business how?” Daniel feigns ignorance. “You two broke up.”

 

“He told you that?”

 

Minhyun’s voice is somehow calm yet teetering on the brink of explosion every time he talks about Jihoon. It makes Daniel wonder what went down exactly between the two; but doesn’t let it show on his face.

 

“He could tell me a lot of things,” Daniel shrugs. “I can’t remember exactly which.”

 

Minhyun grabs his collar, “So what- you have feelings for him too?”

 

This is the second time in the day insinuating that Daniel has something for Jihoon.

 

It makes him wonder - if people do want him to have something to do with Jihoon. Would they have something to talk about then? Would Minhyun have something to be angry in his life about?

 

Why does something so small and insignificant matter to these people - Daniel will never understand.

 

But if this is a game they like to play, then Daniel isn’t going to be one to refuse the challenge.

 

He grins at Minhyun.

 

“Do you have a specific answer you’re looking for, Hwang Minhyun?”

 

By now, Minhyun is practically seething with anger.

 

He leans down to whisper in Daniel’s ear, “If you’re thinking about going against me, think again. I did it once, and I can do it over and over. You’re dumber than i thought if you think that you could ever win against me.”

 

He pushes Daniel hard, and his body creates a huge splash in the pool.

 

Daniel knows it’s pointless to go at Minhyun now.

 

He’ll just have to find another way; a way that would hurt Minhyun a lot more. For all the humiliation that this school has made Daniel suffer - this is just the tip of the iceberg.

 

〰️

 

Minhyun knows he can feel himself losing again.

 

Losing _himself_.

 

It’s been a while, and he was beginning to gain some hope too.

 

But nothing proves as easy as relapsing.

 

He knows he shouldn’t - it’s so pathetic. But he picks up his phone.

 

“Jihoon? Can you come get me?”

 

〰️

 

“Hyung.”

 

Jihoon’s worried. He’d rushed over when the call had come. It was like the first week of April all over again. His heart had almost cracked when Minhyun had called for him.

 

But Minhyun’s okay.

 

“I know, I shouldn’t have done that to you. I’m so sorry, Jihoonie” Minhyun sighs.

 

Jihoon knows the other boy feels lousy.

 

He can be angry another time.

 

“It’s alright, I’m just happy you’re safe.”

 

Minhyun’s smile proves it all worth it.

 

Even if his heart is telling him no, even when Minhyun nuzzles his face into Jihoon’s neck like a kitten looking for warmth and a safe space.

 

“Thanks to you, Jihoonie, I’m _always_ winning.”

 

〰️

 

When a fourth tray slams down at Daniel’s usual table the next day, breaking the more than awkward silence in the air, he almost chokes on his rice.

 

“What,” Jihoon looks at all of them. “This seat taken?”

 

Daniel fumbles to move his bag, “No, sit.”

 

Jihoon huffs, and moves in to sit beside Daniel.

 

Even then, they don’t talk. Daniel doesn’t know how to talk to Seongwoo and Jaehwan about yesterday when the problem is sitting with them at the table.

 

“I’m sitting here to make sure you take your meals,” Jihoon explains to no one.

 

Jaehwan just raises his eyebrows at Daniel and continues eating.

 

He clears his throat, “Well- um, thanks. I’m glad you joined us.”

 

Jihoon just nods cordially and watches Daniel wolf down his sandwich.

 

From the far end of the cafeteria, he catches Minhyun’s eye staring at Daniel and the boy beside him.

 

His heart burns with greed for revenge.

 

Daniel makes sure Minhyun is watching when he ruffles Jihoon’s hair, earning him a stink eye from the receiver but hey - Minhyun’s no longer in sight.

 

Well, then.

 

Let the games begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me after writing this chapter: oh no what have i done
> 
>  
> 
> comments are loved and appreciated by me always!!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> daniel and jihoon open up - both to the person they least expect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /throws u all some nielwink fluff/

“Correct me if I am wrong, but my sources are telling me that you’ve been hanging out with that Kang Daniel. Am I getting accurate information?”

 

Jihoon can barely open his eyes after studying till late for the test today. And here Donghan is - as perky as a peach, bothering him about the smallest things this morning. Not to mention that he still has to go out for a movie tonight.

 

No, it’s not a date. He hasn’t been to one of those in ages.

 

It’s a bit hard to find a time in Kang Daniel’s busy schedule where they can watch a two hour movie together for their project. At first, Jihoon had tried suggesting watching it separately and then combining their works together then decided it would be best he kept an eye on that Kang Daniel every once in a while.

 

The last time Jihoon had looked away from the other student for just a second, he had collapsed onto the floor.

 

Yes, he still isn’t over that.

 

“Have your sources  _ also  _ told you that spying on your friends is creepy and inappropriate?” Jihoon huffs and hugs his bag closer to himself, suddenly hyper aware about the short gazes cast onto him as he walks down the hallway.

 

It makes him second guess himself.

 

Did he somehow wear something wrong today? Does his hair look weird? Did a new pimple pop onto his face?  

 

Donghan catches up with Jihoon’s pace quickly with his own long legs. Damn him.

 

“I’m just saying,” Donghan sighs. “It could be bad news for you.”

 

“Listen, Donghan. I don’t know what “ _ bad news _ ” means. I have better things to be concerned about other than what the rest think of me when all I’m doing is my goddamn job. Daniel is nice, and we are friends. End of story.”

 

Not exactly the end of a story because who else does Jihoon have to bump into at the end of the speech? Probably the last person he needs to see right now.

 

“Minhyun hyung.”

 

“Jihoonie.”

 

“I have to get to class,” Jihoon barely remembers. 

 

Minhyun has this stupid effect on him - it’s frustrating. He wonders if Minhyun had heard his rant to Donghan. If anyone were to have the same mindset as Donghan right now, it would be Minhyun - God knows how much Jihoon had put up with when they were dating.

 

Sometimes, he blames Minhyun even though he knows it’s not fair to the other boy.

 

_ Why and how did you make me like this? _

 

“Okay,” Minhyun smiles. “Go on in, then.”

 

Jihoon blinks, realising that Minhyun had done the exact opposite of making him stay like all their previous times. It flusters him, so he just bows his head and enters his class. He’ll have to deal with that later.

 

He settles down before the professor walks in.

 

Just like clockwork, Jihoon sets his bags and stationary down in a neat order on his table, gives Daniel’s chair a hard kick on the back to wake the other boy up before he gets chewed out again, and flips open his textbook.

 

When Daniel flashes him a grateful smile, Jihoon wonders if this is all worth it.

  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

Daniel thinks it’s worth it. Skipping night training to go see a movie is so worth it. Even though he really should be worried about skimping out; it’s _ just one night _ . Besides, it seemed like Jihoon would rip Daniel’s head off if he had to cancel on them again.

 

“I got the tickets and you got the-” Jihoon trails off when he sees the bucket of popcorn in Daniel’s arms. “Food,  _ great _ . How many are we feeding again? The entire cinema?”

 

“Let me live,” Daniel sighs. “It’s been forever since I’ve touched junk food.”

 

He stops mid-munch on his caramel popcorn.

 

“You’re not going to tell my coach, are you?”

 

“Do I look like a tattletale to you?” Jihoon threatens angrily with the two tickets in his hands, as if appalled by the idea of Daniel not trusting him. He pulls his hoodie over his head and leads them away from the ticketing and food booths, “Let’s get this movie over and done with, I have to head back to the dorm because we have a test tomorrow.”

 

“Test? What test?”

 

Oh no, Daniel is so screwed. He doesn’t know how he could ever have thought that he would survive in an ivy league college. His heart sinks when he realises he doesn’t even know what the test is about.

 

“You’re kidding, right?” Jihoon looks at him like he’s grown a third eyeball.

 

Daniel shakes his head dumbfoundedly, too disappointed yet not surprised with himself.

 

He doesn’t excel in his studies - neither is he doing as well in swimming as he first thought he would. Everything is a complete disaster and the only saving grace is that he has caramel popcorn in his hands.

 

“Kang,” Jihoon says very sternly in a low voice as he approaches Daniel. “You know your grades are slipping. How are you not the least bit concerned? You’ve failed every test so far- which makes sense, since you can’t even remember the test dates.”

 

“I know,” Daniel replies. “It’s just…  _ hard _ .”

 

And it’s true. He might not have admitted it to anyone else, but since Park Jihoon is giving him the lecture that he never thought he’d need, he might as well say it out loud. School is hard - being in this stupid Elite school with crazy smart people is even harder. Trying to prove his worth to the swim team is the hardest; when everyone looks at Daniel like he doesn’t even matter. His coach doesn’t even think he’ll qualify.

 

Jihoon stares at Daniel wordlessly for a good ten seconds, as if assessing whether Daniel is faking it or not. And finally, Jihoon takes in a deep breath and holds Daniel tight by his shoulders.

 

“Here’s the game plan, Mister. We’re ditching the movie. I’ll come and watch it another day and write the report for both of us. We’re heading to the dorms right now and I’m going to give you the hardest and most intense crash course you’re going to have in your life. And tomorrow when you take the 9am Biology test, you’re going to pass it.”

 

Daniel nods along, as if suddenly entranced by Jihoon’s words.

 

“Are you going to keep up or not?”

 

He gulps nervously. Somehow, he doesn’t think Jihoon is playing around.

 

“I’ll try my best.”

  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

“What is your earliest memory of this class?”

 

When Daniel falls very silent to ponder about Jihoon’s easiest question of the night, he starts to lose hope. They’re both tired, Jihoon can tell. But he’s not one to go down without a challenge - especially not after he’s made a promise to help Daniel at least pass this test.

 

“ _ Well _ ,” Daniel waves his hands in the air as he’s trying to remember. “I remember her saying something about DNA and some cells… and then I think I fell asleep in class.”

 

Jihoon wants to faceplant into the floor. Looking at Daniel’s progress, they’re probably going to have to pull an all-nighter; which is something Jihoon is familiar with ever since they’ve entered this school but this is different. Coaching Kang Daniel is going to take up twice of Jihoon’s brain energy.

 

He wants to yell at Daniel but when he catches a glimpse of despair on the other’s face, he can’t help but bite down on his own tongue and say, “Okay. Let’s start from the beginning, then. The basic definitions.”

 

After all - everyone’s had to start from the bottom, including Jihoon. And he knows how lonely it is to climb up alone.

  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

“I can’t do this,” Daniel sighs, slamming his face into the open textbook and hoping the words will somehow diffuse into his brain. (Even though he knows now that that is not have diffusion works, thanks to Jihoon.)

 

“I’m just going to fail this test. It’s fine.”

 

“No,” Jihoon says with clenched teeth as he pushes the book back into Daniel’s hands. “I will not let anyone fail under my guidance. It’s against the rules.”

 

“Oh yeah?” Daniel puts on a grim smile. “What rules?”

 

Jihoon does not seem bothered by Daniel at all.

 

“My rules. Now shut your mouth and read. It’s bound to stick after reading it 20 times over,” Jihoon reprimands. “This would have never happened if you had paid attention in class and did your notes.”

 

Daniel ignores that because he knows that is true. 

 

He had just… given up. Plain and simple. He’d tried to listen, even tried to take down notes but it felt like he was running in a marathon where he was a mere amateur and the others were all Usain Bolt. It was useless and a waste of energy.

 

“I’m really sorry, Jihoon,” Daniel sighs, making sure to make eye contact with the other boy, but soon finds himself backing down and gazing back down onto the ground instead in shame. “I just don’t think I can do this. You’re trying your best and I appreciate that but it’s no use-”

 

“Ya, Kang Daniel. What’s your dream?”

 

Daniel raises his head again, only to find Jihoon gazing strangely at him.

 

“My-”

 

“ _ Dream _ ,” Jihoon repeats clearly. “What’s the goal? What’s in store for you in the future? What are you living for? Your purpose in life. How many ways can I put it for you to get what I’m asking?”

 

Daniel clears his throat abruptly.

 

“I’ve never thought about it,” Daniel shrugs.

 

“The next Michael Phelps? Discovering a cure for cancer? World peace?” Jihoon prompts. He huffs when he realises Daniel has nothing to say. Chucking the textbooks aside, Jihoon shifts himself so that he’s sitting closer to Daniel on the bed. (They decided studying on Jihoon’s bed was much more comfortable two hours in.)

 

“Why do you swim?”

 

Daniel likes swimming. It’s easy.

 

“Because I feel at ease,” Daniel says. It’s the smoothest thing that comes out of his mouth tonight; the only thing he’s  _ really  _ sure of. “When I swim, I feel free. It’s like no one else in the world can take the joy of swimming away from me.”

 

Jihoon smiles softly, and Daniel starts to think he’s hallucinating because  _ since when does Park Jihoon smile _ \-  _ especially when Daniel is talking? _ But he takes Jihoon’s strange behaviour as encouragement to keep on speaking. After all, he would rather be doing this than memorizing stupid biology terms.

 

“I started swimming because I wasn’t born with very great lungs. I had trouble breathing, and my mother thought that taking swimming lessons would help, and it did,” Daniel can’t help but chuckle remembering the fond memories of kicking and splashing in the swimming pool.

 

“I was 14 when they realised I was good at swimming,” Daniel says. “Like, actually great. I was clocking faster every time I went for lessons. I qualified for some small competitions and won them all.”

 

He still remembers the rush of crossing the finishing line first. The exhilarating feeling as he emerges from the water to find his name on the big screen. The tears that don’t feel like tears because he’s still wet. His mother’s perfume when she hugs him tight every time; whether he does well or not.

 

Swimming brings him all of the other things he loves in life - so how can he not love it?

 

“So why ivy league?” Jihoon asks, hugging his knees together as he listens to Daniel tell his story. Daniel doesn’t know why, but he’s so happy that someone is finally willingly to sit down with him and listen.

 

The students in this school, Daniel finds, often care about themselves so much they are unable to just stop and listen for just one moment.

 

Daniel’s heart sinks. Why is he even here? Even if Jihoon doesn’t mean it in that way, Danie can almost hear the underlying meaning - someone like you doesn’t belong here.

 

“Was I just supposed to not take up a scholarship offered to me by this school? To me, who was struggling between picking swimming or helping my mother out at our chicken restaurant part-time, being offered a scholarship was a dream. My mother no longer has to pay my school fees, and I get to train with one of the best swim teams in South Korea.”

 

They had celebrated the night Daniel got the call to tell him that he’d been accepted. With lots and lots of fried chicken that Daniel has eaten his entire life - but he didn’t mind one bit.

 

But now, more than anything, he feels like he’s letting down his entire family.

 

“You know the aching feeling of realising that suddenly you’re not as great as you thought you were?”

 

He’s no genius. He’s no prodigy. He’s no Michael Phelps. And he’s definitely no Park Jihoon, with a heart big enough to help the struggling student who is probably going to drop out of school anytime soon and demand nothing in return for his kindness.

 

“By your standards, that is.”

 

Jihoon purses his lips together before continuing, as if this is somehow hard for him to say out loud as well, “You’re just going to have to accept that you’re never going to be the best in your own eyes. But you haven’t seen yourself through mine.”

 

“I don’t know what else you can see other than a student who doesn’t deserve his spot in this school.”

 

“I see someone who is brave enough to be himself,” Jihoon says very confidently. He clears his throat and moves even closer to Daniel; so close their bodies are touching. It’s enough to make Daniel feel at peace.

 

“In my eyes, you are brave. Not everyone can come into this school and still stay true to who they really are inside. The fact that you still see yourself as imperfect is amazing to me. It takes humility-  _ a lot of it, _ to see yourself as lacking. At least you still know who you are.”

 

Daniel might be hearing it wrong because it’s late and he’s drowsy, but he’s completely sure that Jihoon’s voice cracks a little when he says-

 

“I don’t even know who I am anymore.”

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

_ Why am I doing this? _

 

Jihoon has no idea what has gotten into him. He knows that any news of an elite student helping out a weak scholarship student will completely crush his reputation that he has so tirelessly worked to keep perfect. He’s seen it happen to Woojin with Jaehwan. He has a sinking feeling that he is next.

 

It’s a pity none of that matters right now.

 

“What are you talking about,” Daniel’s laughter is low, a stark contrast to his face that scrunches up when he laughs. “You’re Park Jihoon.”

 

“Am I?” Jihoon questions aloud. He’s aware of Daniel leaning in closer to him as the night darkens and their conversations deepen. He swears it’s because the room is cold and they need to huddle together for warmth.

 

“To be honest, I don’t even know if I’m the same person as the boy who had entered this school months ago,” Jihoon says. 

 

It’s laughable, to think that within such a short period of time, a person could change so much. But Jihoon knows, he knows deep down that he’s just not the same. He doesn’t stop to look at the sky anymore, nor does he call up his friends from high school and go to their reunion gatherings anymore.

 

“Is that a bad thing?” Daniel asks.

 

“Because people grow. It’s a part of life,” Daniel explains. “You can’t blame yourself for changing when it’s a natural process we all go through. I think you just miss being that Park Jihoon, but it doesn’t mean that  _ this  _ Park Jihoon isn’t that great either.”

 

Jihoon blinks.

 

“Wow, thank you.”

 

Though it doesn’t solve all his problems, Daniel’s words somehow have contained a little magic in easing Jihoon’s irrational worries.

 

“I’m going to fail that biology test, aren’t I?” Daniel asks aloud.

 

Jihoon just nods.

 

“If it matters, I probably won’t score that well either,” Jihoon shrugs. Right now, he should be panicking about falling behind, or about losing his first place spot to someone else who is up studying right now.

 

But he thinks that he wouldn’t give  _ this  _ up for the world.

 

Revisiting the old Park Jihoon isn’t that bad after all.

  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

Jihoon just looks at Daniel, “For what?”

 

“Taking up your time and your space with my self-depreciation,” Daniel shrugs. “Really, you didn’t have to listen but you did.”

 

Daniel’s breath hitches when Jihoon leans his head onto his shoulder, the sudden weight taking a toll on Daniel’s heart rate as well. It doesn’t mean anything; he’s just surprised with Jihoon initiating anything with him- much less shoulder leaning.

 

“Don’t move, Kang Daniel,” Jihoon commands.

 

“You comfortable?” Daniel jokes.

 

“I promise,” Jihoon says. “If you read the textbook another twenty times before the sun rises, you can pass this test.”

 

“Kind of hard to do so when you are literally sleeping on my shoulder. How am I supposed to move? I can just go back to my room if you are feeling sleepy-”

 

“No,” Jihoon insists, tugging Daniel’s arm down sharply. “You stay here so I can keep an eye on you.”

 

Daniel wants to open his mouth and ask how Jihoon is going to keep an eye on him when he’s the one with both his eyes closed now but decides against that. He still does want Jihoon to be his friend. And friends should be able to lend each other their shoulders when the other is sleepy.

 

_ Well, here goes nothing. _

 

The first time out of twenty times Daniel is supposed to read the textbook, he falls asleep as well.

  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

Maybe the real reason Jihoon had let someone like Kang Daniel get so close to him so quickly is because he reminded Jihoon of how it felt like to be himself again.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

“Oh my God you should have set an alarm!” Jihoon screeches, throwing on a random shirt he finds at the top of his pile. They have ten minutes to wash up, run to class, and take the test. Their school has a zero tolerance policy for tardiness. Just a minute late, and they’ll be banned from taking the test.

 

To be honest, Daniel doesn’t see the point in that when he’s going to fail even when he takes it anyway.

 

When Jihoon tries to comb his messy bed hair down to look half decent, Daniel laughs.

 

“ _ Oh- _ you think this is funny, huh,” Jihoon glowers. “You are the entire reason we are running late! Did you even read through the textbook twenty times like I told you to?”

 

“Three, tops,” Daniel grins at the absurdity of this situation. He grabs a black shirt out of Jihoon’s cupboard. “You mind if I borrow a shirt? Mine has your drool all over it from last night.”

 

“Gross,” Jihoon groans, turning bright pink from Daniel’s comment. “Fine, take whatever you want. We’re leaving in thirty seconds.”

 

They both sprint to class, Daniel just a bit faster than Jihoon, and he laughs until his stomach hurts when Jihoon’s hair gets messed up by the wind again. He cracks up again when he sees how red-faced and breathless Jihoon has become by their morning run, and he can’t suppress his giggles in front of the entire class when their biology professor makes them stand in front and explain why they were late.

 

“I’m sorry Ma’am,” Jihoon bows his head in obvious shame. “It won’t happen again.”

 

“We forgot to set the alarm clock,” Daniel explains very truthfully.

 

_ “We?” _ a voice choruses from the back of the classroom. Cue the giggles from the other students in the class.

 

Something about Jihoon’s expression tells Daniel that he should not have said anything at all.

 

“Just sit down, you two. You had better pass this test with flying colours with this little trick that you pulled this morning.”

 

While she is handing out the test papers, Daniel turns behind him and holds out his pinky finger.

 

“Promise?”

 

Jihoon frowns and whispers harshly, “What do you want now?”

 

“Promise me you’ll still talk to me after this test because I am a hundred percent sure I am going to flunk it.”

 

Jihoon hesitates for a second, then holds out his pinky finger and quickly wraps his around Daniel’s.

 

“You are not going to fail this,” Jihoon says. Confidently, like he believes that somehow, Daniel will create some sort of miracle. It makes Daniel feel good about himself anyway.

 

“Kang Daniel, Park Jihoon! No talking during the test!”

 

“Sorry, Ma’am,” Daniel quickly turns back to his seat. “Jihoon was just asking me for some last minute tips.”

 

He only receives a hard kick to the back of his chair in return.

  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

“It wasn’t so bad,” Daniel admits as soon as their professor collects all the papers and strides out of class, her high heels resounding in the empty hallway. “Hopefully I won’t fail too badly.”

 

Jihoon tries to gather his things as quickly as possible.

 

Now that he is completely sober and awake, he is aware of the damage that he’s done. He had opened up to the least subtle person in class, confessed his deepest insecurities, and fell asleep on Kang Daniel’s shoulder in one night.

 

“Hey, I’m really glad we did that _last night_ ,” Daniel continues.

 

The girl next to Jihoon chokes and coughs loudly.

 

“ _ Daniel _ , I-” Jihoon tries to shush Daniel before anything else can come out of that careless mouth of his.

 

“You really taught me a lot about DNA,” Daniel continues, completely oblivious to his surroundings and his own words. Jihoon doesn’t even know how to stop him when his other classmate raises an eyebrow at him.

 

_ I mean, does Daniel really not hear himself and what he sounds like he's saying? _

 

“Oh yeah. I’ll return your shirt as soon as I wash it!” Daniel calls out to Jihoon, loud enough for the class and possibly the entire world to hear.

 

Jihoon just buries his face into his hands, no plausible explanation for Donghan who has his jaw hung wide open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so you can all blame tori for me having motivation to write again :D
> 
> sorryyy for the long wait between the dwindling inspiration and packed schedules i just couldn't squeeze anything out but not to worry i still do want to update and write!!
> 
> do leave a comment if you liked this chapter and i will see u in the next one <3


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> daniel and jihoon adopt a child(?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the summary is misleading but i thought we could all use a bit of fluff in this period of time
> 
> lov u all!<3

“Faster, Kang, faster!” his coach bellows at him, his ears only catching parts of what is being yelled at him when he comes up for air - which is… only about four times the entire lap. His lungs feel like they are going to burst anytime soon. But breathing takes time, and when time is taken up, Daniel slows down.

  
  
Finally, when he feels like he’s just about to suffocate, his fingers touch the finishing line and he emerges from the water, breathing heavily. His coach stops the timer and peers at him.

  
  
“Not bad. But you’re still below average. Hopefully you’ll catch up and make through to the qualifying rounds next week,” his coach clears his throat when the other swimmers stare at Daniel, making him feel small again. “But _you know_ , I wouldn’t get my hopes up.”

  
  
_Yeah, yeah._ Daniel wouldn’t, either. The chances of him even making the qualifying rounds are so slim compared to the amount of extra training the others have.

 

  
But he’ll take below average any day.

  
  
He meets Hwang Minhyun in the locker room.

  
  
The other swimmer slams his locker door shut, not even sparing a glance at Daniel when he says, “There are some rumours spreading about you.”

  
  
“When are there no rumours spreading about me in here,” Daniel deadpans, putting on a plain white shirt he is sure will earn him some dirty looks from the other students. (He doesn’t understand; do these people know nothing about dressing comfortably?)

  
  
“Usually, it wouldn’t concern me in the least, but I can’t just sit still and do nothing when it involves Jihoon.”

  
  
So this is what it’s all about. Daniel could _never_ have guessed.

  
  
He shuts his locker door as well, the sound resounding down the empty hallway as they are the only two left in the room.

 

“Look, I appreciate the concern,” Daniel says, sarcasm dripping off his words like honey. “But I’m pretty sure it’s going to take more than some dirty gossip to hurt Jihoon. If he’s uncomfortable, he’ll voice it out.”

 

“What makes you think you know him so well, huh?” Minhyun steps towards Daniel, but he doesn’t retreat.

 

In fact, he’s pretty mad at Minhyun for already destroying what could have been a better than average day for Daniel. He’s usually not one to pick a fight but since Minhyun has already pushed his buttons, Daniel wouldn’t mind giving the other boy a taste of his own medicine.

 

“I’m sure you heard the rumours,” Daniel shrugs. “ _You know_ why I know him well.”

 

He’s insinuating that the impossible could happen - both of them know it, but Minhyun’s jaw still tightens with anger at the audacity of Daniel to imply that anything more could happen between him and Jihoon.

 

Is it jealousy?

 

Is Hwang Minhyun really still not over Park Jihoon?

 

“You stay away from him,” Minhyun warns. “You’re bad news, and I don’t want you getting close to him.”

 

“Geez, slow down, _control freak_. Is this why Jihoon broke up with you?”

 

Next thing Daniel knows, he’s getting his back slammed against the lockers and Minhyun’s hands are on his shirt, his fists crumpling them angrily as his eyes stare down Daniel with fury he’s never seen in the other. He knows Minhyun as the cold, expressionless, and detached boy; anything the person who is holding him by the collar _but_.

 

“Watch. Your. Tongue.”

 

Their breaths rally each other’s - daring the other to talk first.

 

Without even guessing, Daniel knows he must have hit a raw spot in their relationship. He shoves Minhyun away.

 

“It’s none of your business,” Minhyun says first when Daniel turns away from him to leave.

 

“But _I_ was the one who broke up with Jihoon - and just so you know, I can get him to come back anytime.”

  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

“What do you want.”

 

Jihoon sits across two stoic and stern faces. He really does not have the time for this, not when he has a million other errands to complete. Granted, the errands mostly include studying but he’s already fallen behind enough, and now he has gotten himself stuck in some kind of best friend intervention thing.

 

“People are talking,” the boy on the right says.

 

Kim Jaehwan. Woojin talks about him quite a lot. They play soccer together sometimes on the weekends outside school, but that’s all Jihoon knows about him, really.

 

“About you and Daniel,” the boy on the left elaborates.

 

Ong Seongwoo. This one, Jihoon knows even less about. He sometimes sees him hanging out in the theatre listening to his songs and studying. But that’s all.

 

“What about me and Daniel.”

 

“That you two _slept_ together,” Jaehwan says in a hushed whisper.

 

Jihoon doesn’t know whether to cry or laugh, so what comes out of his mouth is a choking noise.

 

“Is it true?” Ong Seongwoo oogles at him.

 

“God, no,” Jihoon shakes his head. “It was a misunderstanding. Though I don’t understand why a rumour would warrant an intervention like this. College is just another high school, you shouldn’t just believe what you hear in the hallways - especially in _this place_.”

 

“We know,” Jaehwan sighs. “It’s just that… Daniel does not need this right now. You know better than all of us how dirty gossip spreads in this place. And with your position- we’re afraid his place in the swim team could be compromised.”

 

Jihoon finally understands.

 

“We know you’re one of the nicer ones,” Jihoon can tell that Seongwoo is a very nice man, and he is trying to put across his thoughts to Jihoon as nicely as possible. “But the higher ups do not need to hear this.”

 

“Daniel is the nicest person this school has had in awhile.”

 

And he can’t help but agree without a second of hesitation.

  
  
  
  
〰️

 

 

 

“Hey.”

 

Daniel stares aimlessly at the bed above his, knowing full well that he has a math test to study for but somehow, the words just aren’t going into his head. He can afford to take a break for five minutes.

 

“Hey, Jaehwan.”

 

He kicks the bed, wondering if his friend has already fallen asleep.

 

“Really? It’s been only ten minutes since you asked me if I wanted to go get food and the answer is still no. Now shut up, I am trying to concentrate and try not to fail this test.”

 

“I have a question,” Daniel says, completely ignoring Jaehwan.

 

“It’s about Park Jihoon and Hwang Minhyun.”

 

He can hear Jaehwan slamming his book shut above him.

 

“Daniel, don’t ask questions you know you don’t want the answers to,” Jaehwan warns. “Not everything is as you see in this school.”

 

Daniel knows. But something about the way Jihoon and Minhyun handle their previous relationship and each other just rubs him the wrong way. He’s curious, but he’s also got a bad feeling.

 

“How long were they together?”

 

Jaehwan only returns silence. Just when Daniel is about to give up and let at least one of them concentrate on their work, he finally speaks.

 

“Officially, about three months. But I think they dated in secret for about one or two months before announcing it.”

 

“Why did they date in secret?”

 

“Well… the Park Jihoon you see today isn’t exactly the Park Jihoon that was here at the start of the year.”

 

Daniel wrinkles his nose in frustration even though Jaehwan cannot see him.

 

“What does that even mean?”

 

Jaehwan just sighs loudly from his bed, “I don’t want to be the one that gossips about others. When you find out, you’ll find out. Just don’t expect it to be nice, alright?”

 

Daniel can deal with that for today, he guesses.

 

“I’m going out for some chips,” Daniel announces, putting on his jacket and leaving his study materials on his bed. His stomach has been growling for the past hour and he can’t stand it anymore.

 

“Get me an ice-cream on the way back!”

  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

Jihoon dreads _the phone call._

 

It happens once or twice a month - once if he’s lucky.

 

He gulps nervously when his phone rings, showing a familiar string of numbers. He locks the door behind him and takes it.

 

“Father.”

 

“Your grades have dropped.”

 

He doesn’t even say hello anymore. But this is Jihoon’s fault; he should have seen this coming.

 

“I know, but I’m working on it,” Jihoon says through clenched teeth, hoping that his desperation to stay at the top is conveyed.

 

“Do I need to come down and make a scene again?”

 

“No, no you don’t,” Jihoon assures.

 

Because he remembers very clearly what happened the last time _he_ did.

 

“Good. Are you still talking to Minhyun?”

 

Jihoon hates this so much. A phone call with family shouldn’t feel like an interrogation, but he feels like a criminal in question every time. He closes his eyes tight.

 

“No, father. I told you that I wouldn’t contact him anymore.”

 

“Jihoon-”

 

“And that is my choice. You can say all you want about what I study and where I study - but personal relationships are where I draw the line. I don’t want to talk to Minhyun hyung, nor mention him ever again. Do you even know what he did to me?”

 

“What did he do? Tell a little white lie _for you?_ ”

 

Angry tears spring into Jihoon’s eyes and he wipes them away furiously - mad at himself for showing his weak side.

 

“I won’t be talking about Minhyun hyung in our phone calls anymore,” Jihoon says as a closing statement.

 

There is an exhale on the other side of the phone.

 

“Your mother wants you to come home for dinner on the weekend.”

 

“I have to study,” Jihoon replies.

 

“One dinner. Saturday. Chauffeur Jin will pick you up from school and drive you back after. See you then.”

 

What follows is a beep, and then a dead phone line. Jihoon can only let his arm fall weakly to his side again. He feels very, very alone in his room so he grabs what he needs and heads out for a drink.

  
  
  
  
〰️

 

 

 

“I take it that you’re all studied up for the math test tomorrow.”

 

Just when Jihoon had felt like the entire world was against him, someone had to barge in and remind him that maybe, he could unload some of his problems without burdening anyone.

 

“Who do you think I am?” Jihoon shoots back smartly at the boy in a dark jacket and shorts in this chilly weather.

 

“Sorry,” the figure bows respectfully, followed by a deep, “I forgot that you were _the great Park Jihoon_ who only scored 30 marks more than I did for the biology test.”

 

A laugh bubbles out of Jihoon’s stomach.

 

“You know that was your fault, right?”

 

“How can I make it up to you, then?”

 

Jihoon eyes the boy cautiously.

 

“Give me that ice-cream.”

 

He holds up the strawberry cone, “This? It’s for Jaehwan.”  


“You can get another one later, this is for me,” Jihoon demands.

 

“Fine,” he says, handing the cone over to Jihoon and taking a seat beside him, tearing open a packet of salted chips.

 

This is what Jihoon has been reduced to - sitting on a park bench and eating convenience store ice-cream next to a boy in slippers who can’t chew softly. But somehow, this feels very much better.

 

“Want to talk about it?” Daniel asks after a while.

 

“What?” Jihoon echoes.

 

Daniel shifts to stuff his hands into his pockets; it must be cold wearing so little in this weather but maybe Jihoon is just selfish enough to make Daniel stay with him in this empty park so that he has some kind of company.

 

“I don’t know, it’s like I can hear you thinking. It’s distracting.”

 

“You think you know me-” Jihoon scoffs.

 

“I don’t _think_ ,” Daniel’s goofy smile bringing some warmth to Jihoon. “A direct quote from you, by the way.”

 

Jihoon wonders if this is what Seongwoo and Jaehwan mean. Daniel does not deserve to be talked about by people about something that didn’t even happen between the both of them.

 

Besides… it’s _impossible_ anyway.

 

That they could _ever_ have anything between them.

 

“Ahh you’re thinking so loudly it’s giving me a headache,” Daniel complains, interrupting Jihoon’s inner dilemma. “Just talk. _I_ won’t talk, I’ll just listen.”

 

 _Fuck it_ , Jihoon thinks.

 

“It’s just that - I no longer feel like I’m in control of my life. Wherever the wind blows me, I follow. I have no roots of my own. I know I act all high and mighty but I’m really afraid that in reality, I have no idea what I’m doing. _No_ , I know I have no idea what I’m doing, and I’m really, really, scared. This sounds stupid but doing well in a test doesn’t give me joy anymore. People would kill to have my life but honestly; I’d exchange it for any other in a heartbeat.”

 

Now _that_ feels like a load off his chest.

 

“I know I said I’d just listen, but it seems weird to leave you hanging,” Daniel says. “I don’t want to sound mean or anything, but welcome to life. There are good and bad times, and times we don’t ever want to revisit again. But you’re a great person, a person I know who can do whatever his heart wants to do. All you have to do is really ask yourself - _what do I want?_ I think you’ll be happy after that, because even though I’m shit at academics I know without a doubt that you’ll succeed in whatever you do.”

 

As Daniel rambles on and on, Jihoon feels something very unfamiliar blooming in his chest.

 

Right now, in this exact moment, nothing else matters.

 

Nothing else, except how Kang Daniel smiles like he’s got a million suns in him.

 

“You’ve done well until now, Park Jihoon. And you’ll continue to do so.”

 

Daniel reaches out his arm hesitantly, and Jihoon’s breath hitches when Daniel’s fingers gently brush through his hair, as if he’s afraid that Jihoon is a wild animal that is going to strike anytime.

 

Jihoon almost chokes up when he swats Daniel’s arm away.

 

“Ya, don’t touch me,” is what Jihoon says in reality.

 

What he really wants to say is how thankful he is for someone who has offered him everything; and expects nothing in return.”

  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 _What the fuck am I doing?_   


Daniel only asks himself the important questions when he’s already ruffling Jihoon’s hair in an attempt to comfort the boy. He’s sure the other boy doesn’t know this but ever since the night they “slept together”, Daniel’s been observing him a lot more.

 

Enough to know that the happy energy is slowly draining from his eyes everyday.

 

Today, is one of the worst states that Daniel has seen Jihoon in.

 

He has no idea what had happened before this, but he’s somehow determined to set it right.

 

“Ya, don’t touch me,” Jihoon scoots away.

 

Daniel just smiles. The fact that Jihoon had allowed him to leave his fingers on the crown of his head for more than a few seconds is already a huge step forward in life for Daniel. (He’s learnt that Jihoon is more than apprehensive about skinship.)

 

“You feeling better now?”

 

Jihoon nods slowly, “I think the ice-cream helped.”

 

Don’t ask about the specifics but when Jihoon smiles ever so slightly at Daniel, he just knows what what Jihoon is trying to say is really, _thank you_.

 

“Let’s go, it’s late. Wouldn’t want you getting kidnapped before the big test tomorrow.”

 

Jihoon scoffs, “Please, a kidnapping would really help me right now.”

 

But he still gets up from his spot on the bench and follows Daniel on the path back to their dorms.

  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

“You know, when I first saw you, you were kind of annoying.”

 

“I could tell,” Daniel laughs. “You didn’t even want to tell me what page we were on, you pretentious brat.”

 

“I could get you suspended for that,” Jihoon warns, but of course he doesn’t mean it.

 

He still takes a deep breath though, and says, “I’m trying to be better, I really am.”

 

“I know.”

 

And _God-_ Jihoon curses whoever gave Daniel such a pretty smile.

 

He’s too caught up in his own thoughts that he doesn’t hear a small whimper coming from behind a tree, but Daniel does. The other boy stops in his tracks immediately, crouches down and uses his phone flashlight to source for the cry for help in the dark.

 

“Jihoon, it’s a puppy.”

 

Daniel’s voice sounds urgent, so Jihoon quickly joins him and indeed, there is a tiny puppy, no older than a few weeks, whimpering so faintly Jihoon would never have heard if he didn’t pay any attention.

 

“He’s hurt,” Daniel says, examining the puppy cautiously. “Hold on, I think he’s stuck under the fence.”

 

He immediately sets to freeing the puppy, and lifts up a part of the barbed fence to free where the puppy’s leg was stuck under. Jihoon winces in pain for the puppy.

 

“We have to bring him back,” Daniel decides.

 

“You’re crazy, the dorm doesn’t allow any pets,” Jihoon replies.

 

Daniel takes the puppy into his arms, making it look even smaller when compared to Daniel’s gigantic chest.

 

“He’s hurt and hungry. We’ll take him to the vet tomorrow. For now, he can stay in your room.”

 

“Wait- my room?” Jihoon echoes. “I’m not going to be the one who breaks the rules!”

 

“Your room is bigger and located further away from the offices, it’s our best bet if we don’t want to be found out.”

 

Jihoon opens his mouth to argue with Daniel again, but one look at the puppy in Daniel’s arms and he gives in. There’s no way a vet is open at this time of the night, and who knows what the authorities would do if they found out that Daniel was secretly housing a puppy in his already crowded dorm room.

 

Jihoon has no choice.

 

“Please, Jihoon?” Daniel pleads, eyes almost mirroring the puppy’s desperate ones.

 

The resemblance is uncanny.

 

“Fine,” Jihoon huffs. “But we have to be quiet.”

 

“He’ll be quiet,” Daniel says, smiling at the puppy who he has now wrapped with his jacket. “Won’t you, you cutie honey bunch baby?”

 

Jihoon would love to gag at Daniel’s sweet talk but they really do not have time to stall.

 

“Follow me.”

  
  
  
  
〰️

 

 

 

“He looks like he hasn’t eaten in days. How can someone live like that?”

 

Daniel’s heart goes out to the poor puppy they have managed to sneak into Jihoon’s room. Thankfully, the puppy was silent- maybe even too exhausted to make any noise. He’s only worried about the strange looks he had gotten when Jihoon had hurriedly pulled Daniel into his bedroom again.

 

“You two can be best friends, then,” Jihoon replies snarkily.

 

“Hey,” Daniel protests weakly. “I am taking my meals regularly now.”

 

 _Thanks to you_ , Daniel thinks.

 

Jihoon sets down another bowl of cooked salmon for the puppy to dive into excitedly, then sits down and sighs.

 

“What are we going to do now?” he asks aloud.

 

Honestly, Daniel has no plans whatsoever. He had seen the puppy, and his first thought was to rescue it.

 

“I think the smartest plan would be to take him to the vet as soon as possible,” Daniel suggests, ready to get shot down by Jihoon immediately. The boy was already hesitant to bring the puppy back into his room, what more get associated with Daniel who’s about to break every single rule in this place.

 

In the end, Jihoon just nods wordlessly.

 

“I can take him tomorrow after my morning classes,” Jihoon offers.

 

Daniel can hardly believe his ears. The Park Jihoon he knows would have forced Daniel to take the puppy to the nearest shelter first thing the next morning - but now when he looks at Jihoon smiling unconsciously as he strokes the puppy’s chin, he realises that Jihoon is a boy who gets attached to things in the shortest amount of time.

 

“And I’ll meet you after my training. We can go together. We’re his parents now.”

 

“No,” Jihoon shakes his head. “We are not his parents. We are not going to get attached to this puppy because he already has a home.”

 

“You’re the strict Dad, and I’m the fun one,” Daniel suggests, knowing it pushes Jihoon’s buttons. “It’s going to work out just fine.”

 

“ _Why am I the strict- No!_ No parents,” Jihoon stresses.

 

Daniel just smiles when the puppy climbs into Jihoon’s lap and rests his head on Jihoon’s knee. His heart could melt into a pile of goo right now.

 

“Is this how it feels like to raise a child?” Daniel wonders out loud.

 

When Jihoon shoots him a death glare, Daniel retreats, wondering if he’s gone too far this time.

 

“He leaves as soon as we find him a suitable family,” Jihoon’s eyes rest only on the puppy, fingers coaxing him to sleep.

 

Daniel whispers so they don’t wake their unofficial child up.

 

“But until then, _this one_ is fine, right?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and so the domestic mess™ begins.
> 
> if you don't follow me on twitter, i just want everyone to know that i won't stop writing for w1 just because of *cough cough*
> 
> so yes, please stay with me for updates on this mess and also other stories/works of mine in the future.
> 
> in the meantime, do leave comments if you liked this chapter! (btw, feel free to suggest names for the puppy my mind is blank. go crazy with it welp)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daniel learns a very important lesson in wanting things he can't have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the angst was inevitable and you know it.
> 
> for now, enjoy the 5.6k update whee whee!

True to his word, Daniel shows up at Jihoon’s room the next afternoon with his duffel training bag and half dried hair. He’s used to the sight already. Jihoon wants to say something snarky but they just don’t have the time, so he pulls Daniel into his room again before the other boy can even open his mouth.

 

“How is Byul?” Daniel asks when Jihoon shuts the door behind him after making sure that no one is looking.

 

“How is  _ who _ ?” Jihoon echoes, and then realises that Kang Daniel has actually gone out of his way to name the puppy who had spent the entire morning peeing all over Jihoon’s apartment. (The worst part was that he could not call for someone to clean it on behalf of him. It was safe to say that was the most eventful morning Jihoon has had for a long time.)

 

“Byul-ie,” Daniel reiterates as he drops his bag onto the floor like this is his personal room, choosing instead to rush to the side of the puppy with golden fur in the corner of Jihoon’s bed.

 

“Hello my  _ baby smoochum _ ,” Daniel coos, holding the puppy in his arms and staring at it like it is the cutest thing in the entire world.

 

Ok.

 

Maybe it is the cutest thing Jihoon has seen in this entire world. Despite the efforts to keep Byul-  _ no _ , the puppy from howling in the middle of the night and waking the entire dormitory up, Jihoon still cannot find it in himself to get mad at the adorable ball of fur.

 

“Kang Daniel, you do not get to name the puppy,” Jihoon chides angrily. “What is the plan? I cannot keep him in my room forever.”

 

As much as Jihoon would like to.

 

Daniel just hugs the puppy closer to his chest, as if protecting it from Jihoon. (Like Jihoon is the one who isn’t thinking for its well being right here. And talk about betrayal - who was the one who had cooked beef for the puppy this morning before class?)

 

“Don’t listen to him, we’ll find you a home soon,” Daniel whispers.

 

“Well it can’t be in  _ here _ ,” Jihoon rolls his eyes.

 

“Why not?”

 

Jihoon opens his mouth to give Kang Daniel 1 million reasons exactly  _ why not _ but that very same grown up man is looking at Jihoon like Jihoon owes him something and Jihoon just cannot find it in himself to say anything mean. Not when the puppy is looking at him like that.

 

And he’s not exactly talking about  _ Byul _ .

 

Yes, it’s a nice name. It’s a name Jihoon likes a lot, actually. He could go with it for a while, just until they find Byul a nice home with nice owners who might eventually decide to call Byul by another name. Jihoon doesn’t really like the thought of that so he pushes it to the back of his mind.

 

“Because,” Jihoon sighs defeatedly as nothing comes out after that one word. “Because I say so!”

 

“I have a plan, actually. We can take him to the vet down the street to treat that cut on his leg. We’ll scout for any shelters right after and see if there’s anyone who’s willing to take him.”

 

Byul just whines in Daniel’s arms as if he can understand what they’re discussing.

 

Jihoon’s heart melts as he finds himself unconsciously sitting beside Daniel and scratching Byul under his chin.

 

“Will we ever find anyone?” Jihoon thinks aloud.

 

“We will,” Daniel says. “ _ I promise _ . I won’t let either one of you get hurt.”

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

Byul is very accomodating on the way to the vet. It makes Daniel wonder if he was a puppy who already had a family. But somehow, something in his chest stirs at the very thought of their golden puppy belonging to anyone else.

 

He hopes Jihoon feels the same way.

 

After filling in their details at the nearby veterinary, Daniel takes a seat in the waiting room with Jihoon and Byul.

 

Byul - meaning  _ star _ , had come as an idea to Daniel the night before, after he had left Jihoon’s room. The night that they had decided to take Byul in had also been the night Park Jihoon had broken a rule with Kang Daniel. To others, the very action may seem insignificant but for Daniel, it had been a huge step forward in their friendship.

 

“Ouch,” Jihoon gasps in surprise as Daniel turns to find Byul nipping on the other boy’s fingers.

 

“He’s teething,” Daniel observes.

 

“Thank you, _ Captain Obvious _ ,” Jihoon rolls his eyes. “Here, take him.”

 

Byul is transferred back into Daniel’s laps before he can even protest and soon enough, he is the next victim of the little puppy’s newfound habit of chewing on fingers.

 

“Down, boy,” Daniel says sternly. Or so he thinks. Byul’s puppy eyes could bring any other dog’s to shame.

 

“You’re going to have to do better than that if you want  _ anyone  _ to listen to you,” Jihoon says, crossing his arms.

 

Daniel gets distracted thinking of a comeback, and gets a particularly sharp bite on his thumb when he isn’t paying attention.

 

“Ow! Hey!” Daniel yells irritatedly at Byul who just gives him a poker face.

 

Jihoon just laughs, and when he laughs so loudly that it can be heard throughout the clinic, Daniel freezes. Not because his thumb stings, but mostly because of the way his heart leaps at the sound of Park Jihoon laughing. It’s genuine and hearty and it makes Daniel’s head spin in all the wrong ways. The ways rumours have been talking about, and the ways Daniel has been denying till his death about.

 

Because of course he does  _ not  _ like Park Jihoon more than just a friend.

 

Just a friend, Daniel reminds himself.

 

You can like sound of your friends’ laughter a lot,  _ right? _

 

“Meanie,” Daniel pouts more at Jihoon for being a mere bystander than at Byul for being the culprit.

 

“You’re fine,” Jihoon assures, but he blows on Daniel’s thumb and suddenly  _ he is fine. _

 

“Seriously though, you’re fine, right?” Jihoon is suddenly concerned when Daniel doesn’t respond for a while.

 

He just nods numbly.

 

“Daniel, Jihoon and Byul?”

 

Their names are called out by the same boy in a mustard jacket over his shirt and denim jeans who had taken down Daniel’s particulars earlier. He stands up quickly to avoid Jihoon’s piercing gaze.

 

“Doctor Lee will see you all now,” the boy says cheerfully, making Daniel feel a lot better about this whole thing and leads them into the treatment room.

 

Said Doctor Lee quickly runs a few basic tests on Byul including taking her weight, checking that her vitals are in good condition and a lot of things Daniel doesn’t really take note of. But he guesses the procedure is the same as the ones his cats go through when he brings them to the vet. Jihoon is listening attentively, only short of taking notes of everything Doctor Lee says.

 

When Doctor Lee says that he needs to run a blood test in a separate room, Daniel’s face falls.

 

“We will be back in a moment,” Doctor Lee assures them both.

 

So far, so good.

 

Byul is looking as energetic as a golden retriever puppy can be.

 

Daniel just can’t erase the feelings of worry from his chest, and it seems like Jihoon feels the exact same way either with the way he is pacing around the room.

 

“So… are you two together?”

 

Daniel had almost forgotten about the other boy’s presence in the room. When Daniel realises that he’s addressing them, Daniel almost chokes on thin air.

 

_ Together _ ?

 

“No!” Daniel says aloud, shocking the other two boys. Jihoon even looks mildly confused at his sudden outburst.

 

“Just friends,” Jihoon elaborates for Daniel.

 

“Oh. Well, Byul is going to be just fine. Especially with owners like you two, he’s in good hands,” the boy smiles. That eases Daniel’s worries a little.

 

“Are you a vet as well?” Jihoon’s voice is laced with suspicion at the good news.

 

The boy laughs, shaking his head.

 

“I’m just an intern here but trust me, he’s going to be  _ fine _ . My name’s Sungwoon. I’ve worked here long enough to know that it’s going to take more than a mere scratch to faze that puppy.”

 

Daniel just nods in awe at how fluent the intern who now has a name - Sungwoon, puts words.

 

“I’m Daniel,” Daniel says when he realises that Jihoon has already introduced himself, but he’s been too busy spacing out to hear it. Sungwoon just looks at him quizzically.

 

“Yes, I gathered that,” Sungwoon chuckles.

 

“You don’t happen to know a shelter that would be willing to take Byul in, would you? Truth is, he’s a puppy we found abandoned nearby and we don’t think we can keep him for very long.”

 

Sungwoon ponders over Daniel’s question for a few seconds.

 

“I know shelters, but I cannot guarantee that Byul will have a good life there. The best bet would to be find a family willing to take him in immediately,” Sungwoon says in a lower voice, and that’s how Daniel knows he’s being sincere.

 

Jihoon crosses his arms, looking more unsettled than Daniel himself.

 

“I don’t want Byul going to the shelter,” Jihoon finally says aloud.

 

“Wait, what?” Daniel looks at him. Jihoon was the one who was against the whole idea of bringing Byul into their care in the first place.

 

Jihoon looks very uncomfortable saying it out loud, but he finally mumbles, “I know what happens to puppies who don’t get picked up at the shelter. It’s not fair, I’ll find him a family.”

 

Daniel smiles.

 

He walks over to rub Jihoon’s shoulder.

 

“I’m glad we feel the same way.”

 

Alas, Monumental’s Elite student does have a heart after all.

 

Jihoon seems to notice Sungwoon staring at them the same time Daniel does, and he very awkwardly brushes Daniel’s hand off his shoulder and nods numbly in response.

 

“I could look around for you guys,” Sungwoon offers in a meek voice. “I know some dog lovers. I’m sure I’d find someone who would love to have Byul.”

 

This is all Daniel needs. He’s not afraid of the future for Byul anymore.

 

“Thank you, Sungwoon,” Daniel grins.

 

He means it.

 

Then, Doctor Lee returns will Byul yapping excitedly in his arms, his injured leg now neatly bandaged up while he rattles off some instructions to Jihoon, because Daniel obviously isn’t being seen as the responsible one in this whole set-up.

 

“Hey, big guy. Give me your number.”

 

Sungwoon comes up to him while Jihoon is still asking the Doctor more questions. Daniel just hangs back and let Jihoon do what he is best at.

 

He blinks about five times before he realises what Sungwoon is doing.

 

“Are you flirting with me?” Daniel whispers harshly.

 

Sungwoon scoffs, “If I find a family for Byul, how will I contact you?”

 

Oh,  _ right _ . Of course.

 

As if Sungwoon could mean anything else.

 

“You could have taken it from the form I filled out earlier,” Daniel mumbles incoherently in an attempt to mask his embarrassment while he punches in his number into Sungwoon’s phone.

 

“That wouldn’t be professional,” Sungwoon chirps. “I like separating personal and work matters.”

 

Daniel hands Sungwoon back his phone when he is done.

 

“Now give me yours,” Daniel says.

 

Sungwoon can only laugh, and that is when Daniel realises that he might be very attracted to beautiful laughs. Two times in a day he is experiencing whiplash - and all because pretty boys are laughing in front of him.

 

Did he just call Sungwoon pretty?

 

“Now  _ that’s  _ flirting,” Sungwoon winks, but hands over his number to Daniel anyway.

 

Daniel cannot really remember what happens next, because Jihoon is done talking to the doctor, and the next thing Daniel knows is that Sungwoon is pointing them out to the nearest pet store so that they can get actual dog food for Byul.

 

And when Sungwoon waves them goodbye, he says, “See you soon” which earns Daniel a suspicious glare from Jihoon.

 

“Keep it in your pants,” Jihoon growls when they are out of earshot. “My child is here.”

 

“Your child?” Daniel can hardly believe his ears. “You’re impossible, I’m taking you to court!”

 

“Haha,” Jihoon deadpans as he quickens his steps.

 

“I only gave him my number so he could let us know if a family wanted to adopt Byul!” Daniel protests as he chases after Jihoon.

 

Jihoon just stares at him.

 

“Why are you telling me this?”

 

Indeed, why is Daniel even explaining this to Jihoon.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

There is no way Jihoon is jealous.

 

_ Is he? _

 

When Byul finally falls asleep (after five rounds of playing silent fetch in Jihoon’s room and another three rounds of tearing their energetic golden retriever from chewing up Daniel’s shirt), Jihoon lies down on his bed.

 

“Hey, is it okay if I grab a soda?”

 

Right, Kang Daniel is still here.

 

“You don’t even have to ask,” Jihoon replies as Daniel hums a tune while fetching himself a soda.

 

Was he really jealous?

 

There’s nothing to be jealous about, even.

 

Not about how Daniel hit it off with the intern so well in just a mere five minutes, when it took Jihoon almost a whole five weeks to actually get somewhat comfortable with Kang Daniel’s inevitable presence in his life. But of course - Daniel gets to be buddy with anyone he meets, he’s just  _ that  _ friendly and warm and inviting. He makes people feel comfortable, so it wouldn’t be a miracle that the equally good-looking intern at the vet would ask for Daniel’s number even if he were to try and cover it up with that lousy excuse.

 

“Jihoon, are you even listening to me? I said, do you want to bring Byul to the park tomorrow? Sungwoon says that Byul needs a lot of space to run, especially when he’s a growing puppy.”

 

I thought you weren’t listening, Jihoon scoffs internally.

 

“I can’t,” is what Jihoon really says instead. “I am going home for the weekend.”

 

“Oh, okay,” Daniel replies. 

 

Jihoon is glad Daniel knows when not to pry any further.

 

“Does this mean I have to hide Byul in my room until you come back?”

 

Jihoon has not thought about that.

 

“Will Jaehwan and Seongwoo be okay with that?”

 

“They have to be,” Daniel says, smiling at Byul who has his head on Jihoon’s knee.

 

He’s precious, really.

 

“Then I guess he is yours for the weekend. But please call me if there’s an emergency and I’ll come back immediately,” Jihoon would much rather coming back earlier, since he is not as enthusiastic to be cooped up in the same house as his parents. Dealing with a puppy is so much better, really.

 

“Don’t worry, I will take super good care of him.”

 

“Not as good as I have,” Jihoon replies snarkily.

 

What Jihoon really means is that:

 

_ I know you will. _

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

It is about 9PM on Saturday when Daniel really gets to thinking about it. Byul had really tired him out at the park today, and now that Seongwoo and Jaehwan are back and he has other people to keep the puppy busy, he finally has time to think.

 

What kind of family does Park Jihoon come from?   
  


Daniel would have let his mouth run the other day - until he’d seen the unsettled look on Jihoon’s face when he talked about returning home for the weekend.

 

“Is Park Jihoon some kind of chaebol?” Daniel wonders aloud, hoping to draw out some information about his very tight-lipped friends when it comes to Jihoon, or any of his close associates.

 

“You can ask him yourself,” Seongwoo suggests, giving Byul another treat. Jihoon is going to be so mad when he returns tomorrow and finds out that Byul has put on a bit of weight in just two days.

 

“Since you two are chummier than anyone else these days,” Jaehwan adds on.

 

Daniel sits up, “What does that even mean?”

 

“I’m just saying,” Seongwoo straightens his back. “It’s not going to do you any good to hang out with Park Jihoon too much. God knows what kind of trouble you’ll get yourself into.”

 

“And the fact that you two adopted a dog together,” Jaehwan says. “It’s not going to sit well with some people in here. Off the top of my head, I can already name one.”

 

Daniel groans into his pillow.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

Dinner is a very awkward and humiliating affair. Jihoon’s step brother is back from closing a huge deal with an undisclosed client from New York, which is why he’d been called back for dinner.

 

It’s all good until Jihoon has to speak.

 

“And Jihoonie, how are you doing in school?” his brother shifts the unending compliments of his parents to Jihoon, who is just picking at his food at the corner of the table.

 

“Fine,” Jihoon answers meekly.

 

No one seems satisfied at that answer.

 

His father speaks up on behalf of him, “He’s actually dropped quite a few places from the last time you saw him.”

 

“Yes, but I am studying hard to get back up,” Jihoon replies very sternly to make it clear to his father that this is no time to bring up his grades.

 

After all - is that all his family has to talk about? Grades, achievements, awards, who got the most trophies in that competition and who’s going to go to the best university?

 

“You should not even have let yourself fall in the first place,” his father points his fork accusingly at Jihoon, very unbefitting of a supposedly calm and poise man like himself.

 

“I am allowed to make mistakes too,” Jihoon retaliates, slowly raising his voice.

 

“ _ Okay- _ Jihoonie,” his brother tries to defuse the situation, but it’s already too late.

 

“Not in this family,” his father slams his fist on the table, the plates shaking in their place.

 

Only Jihoon remains unfazed. This has happened too many times.

 

“When we took you in, you swore to us that you’d be the best. That was the only condition you had to fulfill to enter this family. And let me ask you now - _ is that so hard?” _

 

“Yes, it’s difficult. Because-” Jihoon chokes up and he hates himself for it because all he wants to do now is flip the table and smash all the plates but all he can do is try not to let himself cry in front of his family.

 

“Because I can’t be perfect. So deal with it, or I will.”

 

He doesn’t even bother to look at anyone sitting at the table when he leaves.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

Jihoon doesn't even know what he is thinking when he picks up his phone.

 

Fuck that.

 

He’s not thinking.

 

“Hey, I didn’t expect you to call. Is everything okay?”

 

Jihoon swallows the lump in his throat with much difficulty.

 

“Yes, I mean no. I don’t know.”

 

There’s silence on the other end.

 

“Do you need me to come over? Just send me an address - I’ll be there.”

 

“No,” Jihoon shakes his head even though the person on the other end cannot see him. “Just stay here like this.”

 

“Okay,” comes  _ his  _ voice.

 

It’s calm, it helps the world stop spinning for Jihoon. For just a split second, he’s  _ okay _ .

 

“I’m here.”

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

“I am so sorry for doing this,” Jihoon says for the nth time that night.

 

“I wish I could record our conversation right now. The Almighty Park Jihoon cannot stop apologising to me in the middle of the night. I can’t believe my wildest fantasies are coming true.”

 

Jihoon laughs even though his chest feels heavy.

 

“Shut up, Kang Daniel. I will kill you if even a part of our conversation gets leaked.”

 

It’s an empty threat anyway. Jihoon cannot do anything - and that is the reality. He’s powerless, yet he doesn’t know why he keeps pretending like he has everything in control.

 

“I know, I know,” Daniel replies. “Are you sure you’re okay? You’re making me really worried with this sudden phone call. And your voice sounds really weird. Have you been-”

 

“No,” Jihoon answers for Daniel.

 

Daniel doesn’t need to know any of this, anyway.

 

“I’m fine,” Jihoon insists, just to assure Daniel.

 

“Hm,” Daniel answers hesitantly. “Okay. Do you want to talk about it?”

 

“Not really,” Jihoon admits. Talking about it would mean that he would have to explain a lot of things to Daniel, things he hasn’t ever told anyone else. And Jihoon doesn’t think he’s ready for that kind of opening up. He doesn’t think he’ll  _ ever  _ be ready.

 

“You’re stronger than you think, you’ll get through this.”

 

Jihoon doesn’t tell Daniel that, that is exactly what he needs to hear right now.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

“ _ No _ , Spiderman is the best Marvel Superhero because- Park Jihoon, are you listening to me? Oh, you’re sleeping.”

 

Daniel hangs up the phone when he hears Jihoon finally snoring softly on the other end even after the other boy had insisted that he was not sleepy.

 

It’s about an hour past midnight, so almost three hours since he’d received the sudden call from Jihoon halfway into pizza night. His stomach is growling, but his coach had told him not to eat after midnight - so he endures it and returns to his room.

 

He has a sinking feeling that Jihoon is hiding something huge.

 

For someone as emotionally guarded as Jihoon, he sure is hiding a lot of secrets that Daniel doesn’t know how he will deal with once it gets exposed to the entire world.

 

But for now, all Jihoon needs to know is that he is not alone.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

Jihoon had already planned to leave the next morning, no longer in any mood to prolong his stay. No one wanted him in this house, so the least he can do is to make his presence scarce as soon as possible.

 

He packs his bags, throws in a few extra clothes and rushes out of the house to catch the earliest bus or train out of this place when a black Maserati pulls up into the driveway just as Jihoon is on the way out.

 

When the car door opens and a tall figure steps out, Jihoon gulps.

 

He has nothing to be sorry for - but suddenly he feels like he’s being eaten alive with guilt when Hwang Minhyun helps him with his bags.

 

Jihoon had no reason to call Minhyun last night; not even when Minhyun had been the one on the other end of the phone for five months.

 

You don’t owe him anything, Jihoon reminds himself sternly.

 

But all will is lost when Minhyun opens the passenger door for Jihoon, and because he is so exhausted and does not have the will or energy to fight back anymore, Jihoon relents.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

“Your brother called. He knew you would try and sneak out early, but he didn’t want you to take public transport on a Sunday morning.”

 

Minhyun’s in a nice sky blue striped top, a contrast to the comfortable swim team hoodie Jihoon is used to seeing him in. When Jihoon looks at him up close, he realises that Minhyun has lost some weight around his face.

 

Hwang Minhyun’s cheeks were always one of Jihoon’s favourite things in the world to pinch.

 

“You didn’t have to come down.”

 

“You know I do,” Minhyun smiles. “I always come and pick you up after you fight with your family.”

 

He does. It just hurts to remember that they were happy once. Jihoon has tried to wipe that all from his memory. But he can’t. One look at Minhyun at the steering wheel and he remembers - Minhyun has always been the more level-headed one. With the reckless character that Jihoon has, it is a wonder how Minhyun has always found some balance between their contrasting personalities.

 

The worst part about it was that they worked.

 

They were  _ great  _ together.

 

“This isn’t the road back to school,” Jihoon says plainly.

 

“I know,” Minhyun nods. “I want to bring you somewhere first. Unless you have other plans?”

 

Jihoon just shakes his head and leans against the window, gazing at the fluffy clouds in the sky and wonders how the earth can still look so peaceful when Jihoon knows that a thunderstorm is about to strike very soon.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

“This place is still as quiet as ever,” Jihoon comments, even though there is a sinking feeling in his chest when they pull up near a quaint cafe just by the sea. Not many people know of this place.

 

Which is why most of their dates had consisted of Minhyun kidnapping Jihoon from class and driving him down here.

 

Where no one could see them.

 

“I know,” Minhyun chirps. “It’s still so nice, isn’t it.”

 

_ Nice  _ \- because it’s filled with great memories. Their first proper date, if you don’t count the number of times Minhyun has sneaked into Jihoon’s room, where they had their first proper kiss, if you don’t count the number of cheek and forehead kisses Minhyun has sneaked onto Jihoon before.

 

_ Not so nice _ \- because now all the memories are tainted.

 

“Table for two.”

 

Jihoon knew instantly back then that Cafe Aurora was their place. The music fit both their tastes, the interior was comfy and the staff were nice. 

 

“Hyung, I have to get back to school,” Jihoon says softly but his protests die down instantly when the waiter leads them to their table.

 

_ Their  _ table.

 

“I specially requested this table,” Minhyun replies.

 

“Hyung-”

 

And because Jihoon knows, that it is inevitable for him to not fall for Hwang Minhyun again if he takes a seat, he tries his best to resist. Call it weak willpower, call it idiocy; but Jihoon will always love Minhyun. Even if the journey is painful - Minhyun somehow convinces Jihoon that it is worth it to stay in the end.

 

“Stay with hyung for a while, please?” Minhyun smiles, but his smile is somehow broken, like he’s forcing himself to be happy. 

 

And God knows Jihoon feels the same way right now too.

 

“Okay, hyung.”

 

It’s okay if they’re pretending, they can just play pretend with each other.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

“Hyung, why are you doing this?”

 

Jihoon cannot stand the siffling silence between them anymore. They have both ordered their food, but Jihoon cannot stomach anything when their conversations used to be filled with useless but joyful things - and now, it’s reduced to  _ nothing _ .

 

“Having lunch with you? Or-”

 

“Being with me, talking to me, taking me out,” Jihoon could list these things forever. He’s more frustrated than anything. “Because hyung,  _ you  _ were the one who broke up with me. You were the one who told me to stay away from you.”

 

That was the worst part.

 

The only person that cared about Jihoon wanted him gone as well.

 

“Jihoon, I can explain.”

 

“No, you can’t. You can’t just use the same old excuse because it’s not going to work on me. You hurt me in the worst way possible and I,” Jihoon pauses to take a deep breath. “I was cut off from your world - when I built  _ mine  _ solely around  _ you _ .”

 

Minhyun claps Jihoon’s hand in his to stop him from rambling.

 

“It was fucking terrible of me, I know,” Minhyun says, and Jihoon shivers because Hwang Minhyun never curses, never breaks his professional and cool demeanor in front of anyone.

 

Except the old Minhyun would, around Park Jihoon.

 

“Are you trying to put things back in place?” Jihoon questions. “Do you think you can just miraculously find the puzzle pieces and fit them where you thought they belonged all along? Things have changed, hyung.”

 

The old Hwang Minhyun was goofy, caring and just the best person in the world to be with.

 

Jihoon misses that Minhyun a lot.

 

Change is a hard thing to accept - especially within a person you love and care for so much.

 

“I’d rather you just tell me straight what you’re trying to get at rather than play these games with me. Because frankly, I’ve gone no more time for those.”

 

Minhyun sits up straight, blinks hard a few times.

 

“I’m trying to win you back.”

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

“I know I pushed you away, I know you tried to chase after me when I wasn’t responding. It wasn’t fair then, and it’s not fair now. The world isn’t fair, but I can try my best to make it as fair as possible for you. I don’t know how it’s going to work out - but all I know is that life has been miserable without you.”

 

“I don’t need you to be fair, hyung. I just need you to be there when I need you most.”

 

Minhyun still manages to crack a small smile.

 

“I’m here, aren’t I?”

 

In view of the recent unhappy happenings around Jihoon’s family, Minhyun is right.

 

He’s here, in person, with Jihoon on his favourite place on this entire planet.

 

_ He’s here. _

 

_ He’s here. _

 

_ He’s here. _

 

_ Is he? _

 

Jihoon doesn’t know why he always chooses the path where he needs to convince himself that Minhyun is there for him - when there is another clear one; where he doesn’t have any doubts that the other person would never leave him to fend for himself when Jihoon needed him the most.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

“So it’s a yes?”

 

“I don’t know what to say, hyung. Would my answer change anything? You always do what you want to do anyway,” Jihoon sighs deeply.

 

Minhyun nibbles on his lower lip, a habit that drives Jihoon absolutely crazy, like he’s trying to keep the words from spilling out inside him but finally, finally, Jihoon thinks he sees the old Hwang Minhyun in the eyes of this one.

 

“I miss you, I miss you so much,” Minhyun’s voice cracks, his eyes watery and desperate. “You drive me absolutely crazy.”

 

And that’s what Jihoon thinks pushes him to the edge of the cliff.

 

Just needing to feel like he’s enough for somebody, to know that he makes someone else’s heart race, to have assurance that he’s going to have someone to go back home to.

 

“Okay, hyung. But we’re going to take baby steps. I haven’t completely forgiven you yet.”

 

“Baby steps,” Minhyun nods quickly, repeating after Jihoon. “I can do that for you - I could do  _ anything  _ for you.”

 

His words are always so sweet.

 

Jihoon knows he misses Minhyun as well - from his jet black hair to his charming personality, and not forgetting the way he touches Jihoon like he’s the most expensive artwork in the entire museum.

 

“Okay,” Jihoon breathes out a sigh of relief more than anything else. “I want cake after I finish this pasta.”

 

“Choose anything you want. It’s my treat.”

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

Jihoon didn’t tell Daniel the exact time he’d be back but he did say before sundown, and it’s almost dark now. Byul looks tired as well, the once energetic puppy now resting his head on Daniel’s lap on the bench near the entrance of the school after they’d gone for a late afternoon walk at the park, where he’d made lots of friends.

 

Part of Daniel wants to find an excuse to bring Jihoon out tonight - because God knows Daniel cannot erase the muffled sounds of sobbing from the other end of the phone the other night.

 

**Kang Daniel [7:30pm]**

Hey. Do you want to go and eat at a nearby place for dinner tonight? It’s dog friendly so I thought we could bring Byul as well.

 

To be honest, Sungwoon had recommended that place to Daniel this afternoon. They’ve been talking a bit - with Sungwoon telling Daniel they might have good news about a family adopting Byul soon.

 

**Park Jihoon [7:32pm]**

Send me the address, I’ll meet you there or something.

 

Daniel rejoices instantly - Jihoon isn’t usually that willing to leave campus for something as frivolous as dinner. (Elite students are monsters, really.)

 

Maybe something good had happened over the day to bring up Jihoon’s mood and Daniel thanks God for that; dealing with a cranky Jihoon is not something he feels up to task for right now.

 

“C’mon, Byul. We’re going to change into that new shirt I got for you for your other Dad.”

 

Byul wags his tail, almost as if understanding and mimicking Daniel’s very obvious joy.

 

Daniel starts to hum a song unconsciously, wondering if this is an occasion to dress up a little more. It’s just dinner, but it’s also just dinner with Jihoon - not that it is anything too special. Of course not. It still makes his stomach feel a little funny and his footsteps feel a bit lighter.

 

Maybe it even brings a bit of hope into his world.

 

Some hope that this could be a special night.

 

And of course, the higher you hope, the greater the fall.

 

There’s no mistaking the two familiar figures who are walking too close to each other to be anything less than intimate. With his hands graciously around Park Jihoon’s waist, Hwang Minhyun looks like the happiest man in the world.

 

Daniel thinks he would be too - if he were in Minhyun’s place.

 

Minhyun is not a funny person; Daniel has never heard him crack a joke but Jihoon is laughing and blushing like Minhyun is a world class comedian who is trying to sweep him off his feet. And boy, does Jihoon look like he is in cloud nine right now.

 

What would Daniel’s cheap dinner look like next to a very obvious date with the most popular boy in their entire campus? It was obvious to Daniel from the very beginning that Jihoon always had lingering feelings for his ex-boyfriend, even though they seemed to have ended badly.

 

But who is he to judge.

 

It’s a childish move that Daniel is sure to regret later, but he’s already regretted a lot of things since he’s stepped into this school. Wanted something he cannot have, yearned for someone he could never win over.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Sungwoon, hey. You remember that place you were recommending? I was wondering if you wanted to get dinner together tonight. What time does your shift end? I’ll come pick you up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't worry i will hurt them both equally LOL
> 
> i hope you all enjoyed this chapter and please do leave comments if you did :D
> 
> they are all greatly appreciated and stored in a special place in my heart!!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> old habits die hard
> 
> when the time calls for jihoon and daniel to face the music, they crumble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> these updates are getting longer and longer but who is complaining.

“Here I was, thinking that I could finally get a date out of a hunk like you tonight. But I guess I’m just here to fill the space in that empty heart of yours,” Sungwoon is smiling like an angel that just descended from heaven, but the words that roll off his tongue sting like hell.

 

Daniel has nothing to say for himself. He can only offer Sungwoon another pour of soju and a very meek, “I’m really sorry.”

 

Sungwoon waves his hand in dismissal, “Don’t be. Drinking is good, I haven’t been invited out for a drink in a long time. Let me pour you one instead, I’m the older one here.”

 

The burning alcohol is not going to be good for his head tomorrow, but his judgement is way too clouded to even care about that. All Daniel’s mind is telling him right now is to drink, and drink all his sorrows away.

 

“I’m not sad.”

 

One look on Sungwoon’s face and Daniel knows he’s accidentally said that out loud. It’s too late to take back any of that, and what Daniel learns is that Sungwoon is typically a  _ no-bullshit _ kind of person.

 

“Well you very clearly are,” Sungwoon shrugs, playing with the soju glass in between his fingers. “And there are only two ways you can deal with that from here on. One: face the problem head on.”

 

Not so much a choice now that Park Jihoon’s eyes are going to be glued on only one person from today. Daniel doesn’t even stand a chance.

 

“What’s the other choice?”

 

“Ignoring it. Pretend it’s not there, pretend like it doesn’t affect you.”

 

Daniel scoffs, “That’s cowardly.”

 

“No,” Sungwoon’s face is so close to Daniel’s he could almost feel the other’s breath on his lips. He smells of alcohol and some kind of nice perfume. Daniel knows he could kiss Sungwoon right here if he  _ really  _ wanted to. But it wouldn’t be fair to either of them. He would just be projecting.

 

“That’s the bravest thing anyone could do.”

 

Sungwoon lets his reply hang in the air for a little while.

 

“Hey Niel, if you’re not going to kiss me tonight, there’s someone by the counter who I’ve caught checking me out multiple times already. You mind if I-?”

 

Daniel cranes his head very obviously to scout out the guy Sungwoon is talking about and  _ yup  _ that guy is definitely checking Sungwoon out. Not wanting to hold his friend back from any exciting future endeavours, Daniel nods.

 

“Go ahead.”

 

Sungwoon’s thumb traces over Daniel’s cheek and he smiles sadly, almost as if pitying Daniel.

 

“You going to be alright getting back to the dorms by yourself? You drank quite a lot.”

 

“A little alcohol can’t hurt me,” Daniel assures Sungwoon, whose gaze is already being diverted someplace else.

 

“And neither can a little heartbreak. It’s going to be fine.”

 

Daniel doesn’t get to tell Sungwoon that this is not a heartbreak. This is a case of not knowing his limits and hoping a little too hard for something that will never happen. It always hurts to have reality slap you in the face but Daniel is happy that this reality check came now, because imagine if he had actually said something; or made a move.

 

“This turned out well, right?”

 

Only Byul answers him with a tired whine that means he wants to go home right now. It’s pretty late out already, the only comfort about going home at this time is that Daniel will probably not run into Jihoon or Minhyun on the way home - and even if he does, he can pretend not to see.

 

But he doesn’t know if he can almost pretend not to feel.

  
  
  
〰️  
  


 

 

**Kang Daniel [7:40pm]**

Sorry, something came up. Let’s have dinner another time.

 

Jihoon frowns at the text message from Kang Daniel. What could possibly have been so important that he had to cancel on Jihoon late minute; especially when Jihoon was just  _ a little _ excited to see a face that would be able to put his heart at ease after such a mentally draining weekend.

 

**Park Jihoon [7:42pm]**

Is something wrong?

Are you okay?

 

Jihoon thinks about calling Daniel - this is very obviously out of character for the other boy but he also does not want to intrude into Daniel’s private life. After all, he’s sure nothing  _ super bad  _ happened.

 

“Jihoonie, hey.”

 

Also, he’d totally forgotten about the ex-boyfriend standing in his room. Ex-boyfriend and also  _ trying-to-become-his-boyfriend-again _ boyfriend. Jihoon needs a break from all this. It’s very tiring to have to keep up with Minhyun’s enthusiasm although he knows he’s not obliged to.

 

“What do you want for dinner?” Minhyun asks. “Take-out? Or we could walk to a restaurant down the road. I mean I could cook but you know how well that turned out for us the last time…”

 

Minhyun giggles to himself when the memories resurface in his head again. Jihoon can almost see it in front of him too. Minhyun had offered to cook, being the cool senior that he was. Almost everything was perfect except… Minhyun was a terrible cook. Jihoon made him vow never to step into the kitchen again.

 

“I don’t know, I’m just really sleepy,” Jihoon admits.

 

The previous excitement of going out to dinner at a dog friendly cafe has died down into a sad, mopey mess that Jihoon doesn’t even know how to clean up or deal with. He’s almost sorry that Minhyun has to take the butt of these unfamiliar feelings.

 

“I know this really good sushi place that offers delivery. Why don’t we rest while waiting for the food to come? And you can change into something more comfortable too,” Minhyun suggests.

 

Well, Jihoon cannot say no to more free food. Or to Hwang Minhyun. So when it comes to free food from Hwang Minhyun, he’s a total sucker for it.

 

“Okay. Sounds good. You change and come back too, hyung.”

 

Suddenly, there is still a small fear in the deepest pits of Jihoon’s stomach that when Minhyun walks out of his room, he’s going to leave and never come back. He shakes the ugly emotion away and focuses on trying to tidy his room a little, even if he knows that Minhyun will find something to clean up later even if it is spotless.

 

Somehow, it does give Jihoon a better sense of security.

  
  
  
〰️  
  


 

 

“Is it good?”

 

“Which - the sushi or the movie?” Jihoon answers with his mouth full. He only realises his mistake belatedly and tries to cover his already beet red face with his hands, eyes wide in shock at how natural his response came out.

 

Minhyun just chuckles from above him, already used to the sight of Jihoon getting too into the moment with his one and only true love - food. It’s no surprise that Jihoon would let down his guard around anyone who gifts him free food.

 

“Both, dummy,” Minhyun replies. “But seeing how much you’re enjoying the food I think I’m only going to have to be referring to the movie.”

 

“Hm… the movie is fine.”

 

Jihoon doesn’t want to open up to Minhyun too quickly, after all the bad blood that had transpired between them before, but it’s almost as easy as counting to three. Minhyun knows exactly what Jihoon like to eat, and likes to watch. It’s like something has finally clicked into place in Jihoon’s life and he finally feels safe and at home.

 

“Hyung,” Jihoon gulps.

 

He didn’t want to bring this up, and according to the past, he never should.

 

“Hm?” Minhyun hums, playing with Jihoon’s hair.

 

“Are you still…” Jihoon trails off, not knowing how to put his words nicely so that the warm Minhyun in front of him won’t go back to the Minhyun that Jihoon does not like. Minhyun just stares at him quizzically, until it finally dawns on him what Jihoon is referring to. The unease on Jihoon’s face is enough for Minhyun to guess even before Jihoon can finish his sentence.

 

The arm around Jihoon’s shoulder tenses.

 

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Minhyun cuts him off.

 

“ _ I _ want to talk about it,” Jihoon insists, slamming the laptop down to give them some peace and quiet. “We didn’t get to talk about it then, and if we’re not going to talk about it now, then when?”

 

“Never.”

 

“You’re being difficult,” Jihoon sighs. “You know what- forget it. If you’re not ready to talk, I’m not either. It’s hard being the only one trying to communicate in this…” 

 

Jihoon wants to say  _ relationship -   _ except it’s  _ not _ .

 

_ Not yet _ , that is.

 

Minhyun holds Jihoon’s silence for a long while and frankly Jihoon is not surprised at all. Minhyun has one of the largest egos Jihoon has ever come across (counting his own) and to admit that there was something that he was doing wrong would be like his pride committing a mass suicide.

 

“I want to sleep, you should leave,” Jihoon finally says to break the silence.

 

It’s  _ always  _ him who has to give in, always Minhyun who gets to have his way. It’s humiliating and Jihoon hates every part of it. He stands up from the bed where they were  _ almost  _ cuddling to show Minhyun out the door just to make a show out of it.

 

“I’m not,” Minhyun states very calmly.

 

“What?”

 

“I’m not doing it anymore,” Minhyun repeats, fists clenching around Jihoon’s sheets as if it physically pains him to talk about it; and Jihoon knows - _ it does _ . He sits down, and the only natural thing for Jihoon to do is to hold Minhyun’s hand.

 

“Are you… are you telling me the truth, hyung?”

 

Jihoon treads wearily around such a topic. He’s seen the worst side of Minhyun and to have that happen all in front of him is the most horrible situation he’s ever had to witness. To see Minhyun crumbling slowly tears him apart from the inside and he would give anything to make sure Minhyun never goes through that much pain again.

 

That’s how much Jihoon-

 

_ That’s how much I- _

 

Jihoon stops himself before he can say  _ it _ .

 

“I’m telling you the truth,” Minhyun nods.

 

“Okay,” and for the first time since forever, Jihoon finds himself smiling around Hwang Minhyun like he means it. He can barely assess the consequences of his actions before wrapping his arms tight around Minhyun and squeezing him.

 

“Ah- you’re suffocating me,” Minhyun finally laughs.

 

“Sorry,” Jihoon immediately pulls away, only to get trapped in Minhyun’s arms again.

 

“I didn’t say I didn’t like it.”

 

“Hyung, don’t say it like that,” Jihoon covers his face, afraid that the mere act of looking at Minhyun is enough for him to forget about anything else.

 

The worst part about falling back in love with Minhyun is that it is so easy. Someone as guarded as Jihoon should never be as open as he is with Minhyun, but somehow, Jihoon knows it’s okay to be vulnerable, to be the Park Jihoon that he hates to show other people.

 

Minhyun seems to realise that Jihoon is slipping away from him.

 

“I’m sorry, Jihoon.”

 

Jihoon thinks about all the people who will shake their heads in disgust when they see him and Minhyun together again - Woojin, Donghan, hell maybe even  _ Daniel  _ and that hurts so much. The thing is; even if Minhyun has stepped all over his heart before, there’s no one else Jihoon could think of who would be better to mend it.

 

No one else would ever understand how he feels.

 

He shivers when Minhyun’s lips find their way onto his neck.

 

But it’s all moving too fast - Minhyun, and everything else.

 

He knows Minhyun is hurt when he ducks away from Minhyun’s touch by instinct; he can see it in the other’s eyes and instantly feels guilty.

 

“Not yet,” he tells both himself and Minhyun. “Give me some time, please.”

 

Making impulse decisions are definitely not Jihoon’s forte, and God knows where this could go if he let Minhyun continue. It scares him how fast he was willing to give up everything. He starts to second-guess his own judgement.

 

What if this whole thing with Minhyun was a huge mistake?

 

“It’s okay, Jihoon,” Minhyun assures him, rubbing his shoulder softly. “I’m sorry, I’ll stop rushing into things.”

 

Maybe the reason Jihoon had let Minhyun back into this world so easily is because he’s so willing to believe that Minhyun isn’t going to walk out on him again. Maybe in the deepest parts of his hearts, he’s been waiting for Minhyun to come back, yearning for him to accept Jihoon again and so that when it finally happens - Jihoon has no doubts.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

“How was your date, Danny Boy?”

 

“Not too great, I reckon,” Jaehwan chimes in before Daniel can even say anything. “If he’s back before midnight, nothing too spicy could have happened in  _ four hours _ .”

 

He throws a pillow in Jaehwan’s general direction. He loves his friend but sometimes he talks too much, really. Daniel would do more than just throw a pillow but Byul is super sensitive and he’s bound to get excited and blow their cover.

 

“I thought you were finally going to get a cute date, what happened?” Seongwoo looks at Daniel very sympathetically.

 

“First of all, it was not a date,” Daniel corrects. He’d never meant for it to come off that way - and now he can see why it’d seem like a major dick move to Sungwoon for Daniel to ask him out tonight. “He’s probably hooking up with some other guy right now, which is better than I could have ever offered, anyway.”

 

“Niel, I don’t think the problem lies with you,” Seongwoo sighs, feeding Byul another treat to keep the puppy quiet. Daniel is going to have to go down to the pet store soon - the crippling debt of being a college student is not helping him cope with the puppy’s needs.

 

Seongwoo’s right, this whole night was destroyed because of  _ someone else _ . If Daniel is going to be real with himself, Sungwoon is one of the most attractive people he’s ever come across and he doesn’t think he’s ever connected with anyone so quickly and if not for the interference of another person, Daniel thinks he could have kissed Sungwoon back there, no questions asked.

 

But things are different now.

 

Daniel’s heart wants something it cannot have.

 

“You know… I think Jihoon and Hwang Minhyun are back together.”

 

Seongwoo’s expression is unreadable, and it is no secret that his friend still does have a very unexplainable crush on the swimmer so why does the news not bother him as much as it does to Daniel?

 

“I always knew it would happen,” Seongwoo pats Daniel’s knee.

 

“You don’t understand-” Daniel’s getting more frustrated by the second, unable to comprehend why such a smart and intelligent boy like Jihoon would ever go back to someone who had obviously caused him much hurt. “Minhyun was not a good guy to Jihoon, so why would he?”

 

“You see, Daniel, the two of them have a history that neither you and me can ever give to them, nor can anyone else they encounter in this lifetime. They are planets that cannot co-exist without the other. But you and me- we’re not a part of that. And we will never be.”

 

Realisation dawns upon Daniel as he starts to understand how Seongwoo is okay with all of this.

 

“ _ Niel _ ,” for the first time, Jaehwan sounds serious. “We don’t play in  _ their  _ league. It’s only going to cause chaos and I don’t want you to get hurt. It’s going to be fine.”

 

The worst thing about this whole thing is that Daniel hasn’t even said the words out loud, yet he has already undeniably admitted feelings for Park Jihoon. He wasn’t even aware of the falling, yet he’s taking the full impact of the fall all of a sudden.

 

“You know what, this calls for a chicken and beer party,” Jaehwan decides.

 

“Really now?” Seongwoo does not look sold on the idea at all.

 

Daniel shrugs.

 

“Why the fuck not.”

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

Something is up with Daniel. He seems to be ignoring Jihoon. He didn’t wave to Jihoon in the hallway when they passed, and he didn’t even lift his head to acknowledge Jihoon’s presence in class.

 

Jihoon could just leave it be - but there’s a feeling that he still cannot shake off.

 

So he kicks Daniel’s chair. Hard.

 

“What?” Daniel hisses.

 

It looks like somebody had a terrible morning, woke up on the wrong side of the bed, maybe. It almost seems like there is a huge grey cloud instead of the usual shining sun above Daniel’s head and it almost scares Jihoon.

 

But he’s Park Jihoon, the boy who could have anyone in the palm of his hand.

 

“What happened last night? You cancelled on me so suddenly.”

 

Daniel looks like he’s struggling to remember, when he finally does, he just shrugs it off casually, “I had to meet someone else. Sorry, maybe next time.”

 

He turns back to his table and buries his head into his textbook after, which is very out of character for Kang Daniel who is definitely not the most studious person Jihoon has ever met.

 

So Jihoon kicks his chair again.

 

“Seriously? You aren’t going to talk to me, ask me about my weekend when I-” Jihoon suddenly gets conscious of his raised voice, and how he was about to reveal that he had cried over the phone call with Kang Daniel to everyone else. Daniel looks unfazed, almost as if he’d completely forgotten.

 

_ I’m here. _

 

Daniel’s voice is still etched into Jihoon’s memory, and it plays like a never ending cassette tape.

 

“I just wanted to thank yo-”

 

“Professor’s here. Let’s talk later instead,” Daniel cuts Jihoon off coldly.

 

What the fuck?

 

Jihoon’s eyebrows furrow together in frustration at Daniel’s unusually detached emotions. The over-eager puppy that he’s used to has been transformed into some sort of lone wolf persona that Jihoon does not like at all. It’s different - something Jihoon’s unfamiliar with and he hates it.

 

But the professor is asking them to flip to the next chapter and Jihoon decides that he can find out what is going on with Kang Daniel a little later.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

Except he never gets the chance.

 

Daniel packs his bags and leaves the class almost immediately after the bell rings, giving Jihoon no breathing space or even some time to call for him. He’s like the flash; gone as soon as Jihoon blinks.

 

“Might as well just say it to my face,” Jihoon mutters under his breath.

 

Daniel obviously has some kind of problem with him, which Jihoon doesn’t understand. If there had to be one out of the two of them to be mad, it should be Jihoon.

 

“What’s that?” Donghan echoes.

 

Jihoon just watches bitterly as Daniel disappears from his sight.

 

“ _ Nothing _ ,” he forces out a response to Donghan. “I’ve got to run, I’ll see you when I see you.”

 

“You mean at the party - there’s going to be a huge one tomorrow night, I’ll text you the details! Get a nice suit ready!” Donghan calls out after him and Jihoon remembers. The party. Minhyun’s family does this thing where they hold grand parties for the students and some of their business partners to mingle and form connections; and also because to show off that they’re rich and have even richer friends.

 

Minhyun’s words, not his.

 

He’d remembered Minhyun mentioning it to him the previous night, but even that must have slipped his mind when he was preoccupied with something else. It’s been a while since he’s seen Minhyun’s parents, no doubt he’ll have to put on something extremely suffocating to impress them if he’s going to be seen around Minhyun again.

 

As if the Gods could read his mind, his phone rings; and it’s Minhyun.

 

“Hyung?”

 

“Jihoonie,” it’s almost magical how uplifting Minhyun’s voice can be. But there’s also a certain hesitation in Jihoon’s mind that keeps him from reciprocating the same feelings.

 

“Do you want to go out for dinner tonight? I figured maybe we should talk about tomorrow… since my parents are going to be there. I just really want you to come but I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable either.”

 

Well Minhyun is right about one thing.

 

Jihoon is feeling extremely unsettled about this party for some reason.

 

But maybe Minhyun could provide him some sort of relief.

 

“ _ Yeah _ , yeah that’d be good,” Jihoon nods even though Minhyun cannot see him. “It’s okay, I’ll go wait for you to finish training after my classes end. Okay, bye.”

 

It’s almost too easy to slip back into their old routine.

 

And when things are too good to be true - they often are.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

Granted, Daniel does not have the best defence mechanisms when it comes to dealing with complicated feelings and pretty boys who do not know the power they hold over him. Avoidance was not a part of Sungwoon’s advice and Daniel feels extremely guilty for brushing Jihoon away.

 

He’s mad, but he doesn’t know exactly  _ why _ .

 

So he channels that anger into swimming.

 

“That’s good, Kang,” his coach can’t seem to believe his eyes when he squints at the stopwatch in his hands. “That’s actually really good. If you keep up, you’ll definitely have a shot at making the qualifiers, no doubt.”

 

All Daniel needed was for someone to break his heart, huh?

 

“Thanks, Coach.”

 

“Keep it up, there’s just one week left. I can’t believe I’m saying this but you’re finally proving yourself worthy of being in this team.”

 

At least something is going Daniel’s way today. He can’t help but smile and want to call his mother this instant and tell her about everything that’s happened. A few of the other swimmers congratulate him - though tiny, it’s still a significant step.

 

“Kang Daniel, hey.”

 

It’s hard to have good things when you know Hwang Minhyun. But Daniel could see why Jihoon would be attracted to him. How does one even look so good when he’s completely wet? Daniel will never know.

 

“What are you staring at?” Minhyun looks scandalized. “Look, forget it. I’m here to let you know that I’m having a party at my house tomorrow night. I usually have the entire team over and unfortunately… you’re a part of  _ that team _ , so. Don’t feel pressured to come, I’d be happy without your presence there.”

 

What a jerk.

 

Daniel has half a mind to tell Minhyun that he doesn’t care if Minhyun’s house has inflatable bouncy castles or a magician or unicorns, there’s no way in hell that he’s going to be seen mingling with that sort of people.

 

“Minhyun hyung?”

 

As if things could possibly get any worse than a full on confrontation with his mortal enemy, Park Jihoon has to appear. He looks surprised, as if he didn’t expect to see Daniel here.

 

“Sorry- were you two talking? Should I leave?”

 

“No,” Minhyun smiles sweetly, pulling Jihoon closer towards him by the arm. “Stay. We were just talking about the party I’m having tomorrow night.”

 

“Oh. You’re inviting Daniel?”

 

_ What, so now you don’t want me to come?  _ Daniel wants to say it out loud but he remembers he’s not talking to Jihoon at the moment. He opts for a childish glare that Jihoon returns in full price. Two can play that game.

 

“Yes,” Daniel grabs his things, sure to make a show of it. “I guess I’ll be seeing you both there. I’m sure it’s going to be  _ fun _ .”

 

Jihoon’s expression is confused, then he just walks away.

 

Minhyun can only shake his head disapprovingly.

 

“See you then, Kang. Dress up well.”

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

“Daniel, that’s  _ terrible _ . I would laugh but you’re my friend so.”

 

“Well, Hwang Minhyun is horrible and mean. I don’t know why I’d ever agree to go to his party but I don’t know- a part of me just felt like I had to say yes.”

 

But deep down he knows exactly why.

 

He didn’t want to seem like a coward in front of Hwang Minhyun. And Jihoon too.

 

Sungwoon snorts, Daniel can hear it loud and clear over the phone.

 

“What are you going to do now, then? You have less than 24 hours to this godforsaken party for these Crazy Rich Asians and you don’t have a nice suit.”

 

Sungwoon didn’t have to spell it out like that for him. Maybe Daniel should just not go. It’s not his scene anyway. And being underdressed once is already enough embarrassment.

 

“Guess I’ll just bail,” Daniel sighs.

 

Where are Seongwoo and Jaehwan anyway? It’s late and both of his friends are not in the dorm yet. Thankfully, Byul is sleeping soundly in the corner of Daniel’s bed, it’s a wonder they haven’t gotten caught yet.

 

“And seem like a total coward,” Sungwoon snickers.

 

The front door swings open, starting both Daniel and Byul. Unconsciously, he holds a hand to his weak heart and a string of curses slip from his mouth when he realises that it’s just Jaehwan who apparently has never learned how to knock before entering.

 

“It’s cute that you’re talking on the phone with your date from yesterday but you have plans,” Jaehwan announces.

 

Daniel quickly holds the speaker away from his two friends, not wanting Sungwoon to misunderstand.

 

“He’s not a date!” Daniel hisses.  _ He’s really not _ . “And I have plans?”

 

Seongwoo comes trudging in a few seconds after, something heavy in his arms weighing him done. He fixates his glare onto Jaehwan and says, “Daniel, you better buy us dinner because you owe us a big one.”

 

Jaehwan squeezes Daniel’s shoulder.

 

“We heard about the party. You’re going to go there in style and we’re going to make sure of that.”

 

“I don’t have nice clothes,” Daniel argues, already sick and tired of having to go through this argument with himself, Sungwoon, and now his friends.

 

Seongwoo unloads a whole dryer of suits that Daniel would never dare to touch in his entire life. Most of them have luxury brands embroidered onto them, boasting of their prestige. They probably cost more than Daniel’s entire life.

 

“You deserve to look as good as the rest of them, too,” Jaehwan says, starting to lay out the suits in order on the bed. “We called someone who knew someone who I did a favour too and got these on a short notice. I’m going to need it back tomorrow.”

 

Seongwoo smiles at Daniel’s completely bewildered expression, “Kick Hwang Minhyun’s ass for me, okay?”

 

Daniel is going to have to call Sungwoon back later.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

Jihoon almost doesn’t recognise the person staring back at him in the mirror. Sure, he is in a beautiful suit that he had custom tailored for him by one of the most famous shops at the high end of this city, and his hair looks amazing styled up but he can barely see himself, the real Park Jihoon behind all that bedazzle.

 

But he’s used to it.

 

Minhyun’s hand reaches for Jihoon’s own, his warmth providing some form of comfort for Jihoon’s thumping heart when he stands in Minhyun’s front yard.

 

“It’s going to be fine, Jihoonie,” Minhyun assures him. “You’ve met them before, and they know that you’re a nice person. Remember what we talked about yesterday?”

 

No, because Jihoon’s heart was somewhere else the entire night. Minhyun had brought them out to this fancy dining place that Jihoon cannot recall the name of and tried to talk him through today. He remembers Minhyun saying something about “being casual” and “just smile and be nice” to everyone.

 

In other words -  _ don’t embarrass me. _

 

He knows Minhyun doesn’t mean it that way but it’s all Jihoon hears.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

“Jihoon, what a surprise. We were not expecting you to be here after the...” Minhyun’s father waves his hand in the air as he searches for the appropriate word that is hanging in the air by a thin thread.

 

“ _ Breakup _ ,” Jihoon completes the sentence for him. “I know.”

 

He wasn’t expecting himself to come back here either. Not in a million years.

 

“We are trying something,” Minhyun speaks up on behalf of him. “We’ve talked this through and we both want to try and start again. It’s going to be slow, but I hope that this is a decision you’ll both respect.”

 

Jihoon doesn’t know if Minhyun’s speech is enough to convince his parents, but from the way that their eyebrows arch at Jihoon from head to toe tells him that he’ll never be enough. For Minhyun, for  _ their golden boy _ . Money isn’t enough for people like them. They exude sophistication of a different class altogether. And Jihoon doesn’t know if he’s courageous enough to challenge those expectations.

 

“We’ll talk about this later. But please make yourselves at home for now. There are many people I have over, please do not disappoint me.”

 

With that, Minhyun’s parents twirl the expensives wine glasses in their hands and excuse themselves to go and mingle with some guests who have just entered.

 

Jihoon can finally breathe.

 

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Minhyun giggles, intertwining their fingers together just below the public eye.

 

And even after everything, Minhyun makes it seem okay.

 

“Oh, it looks like my swim team members are here.”

 

Jihoon’s head instinctively pops up, eyes searching for the familiar smile that could bring some sense of normality into this place. The swim team enter boisterously, exchange handshakes with Minhyun and the other people they recognise but there is still no sight of their infamous ostracized team member.

 

Yes, Jihoon hears what people say.  _ Kang Daniel doesn’t deserve a spot in this team, he can’t even come close to the others, and that he should just drop out of this school.  _ He chooses to keep mum about it all the time, knowing that Daniel doesn’t like talking about it.

 

He shouldn’t even have expected Daniel to show up in this sort of place anyway.

 

He’s like in a sort of different world from them, only in a good way. Jihoon longs to be in that world, apart from pretence and unfamiliar faces. He doesn’t need expensive suits or to be donned in the best accessories from the latest collection - he just needs someone to go on dog walks with, and someone that will eat ice-cream with him when he’s sad.

 

Jihoon’s mad at Daniel for being mad at him.

 

He should have never pushed Daniel away even if the other wasn’t feeling as chirpy as Jihoon was used to him being. Now he’s alone, being forced to be cordial to strangers and pretend that he’s interested in “starting a business” or “establishing connections”, which is something he’s never wanted in the first place.

 

Jihoon just wants Daniel.

 

_ Daniel only. _

 

Suddenly, the room falls silent, everyone’s attention suddenly diverted elsewhere from the fancy artworks displayed by Minhyun’s mother or the exquisite food prepared by their private head chef. There is something else much more mesmerizing than all of  _ that _ .

 

Kang Daniel is almost unrecognizable in a suit that hugs his broad shoulders perfectly. What more the shiny earrings he has dangling from his ear and his hair styled upwards rather than his usual go-to comfortable look.

 

He acknowledges people with nothing more than a nod and a handshake.

 

It’s almost like a whole different person has taken over Kang Daniel’s body and transformed it into some sort of sick joke for Jihoon. The way his legs stride over to the room in only a matter of steps to fetch himself a glass of champagne is something Jihoon will never be able to erase from his memory.

 

“I need a drink,” Jihoon mumbles, not even sure if Minhyun hears him before he disappears to the back of the room to grab himself some alcohol.

 

Meanwhile, the party resumes and there is no mistake that Daniel is the life of it.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

It’s terrifying to walk into a house full of people who could buy Daniel’s entire life fortune over ten times over, but Daniel remembers the pep talk that Seongwoo and Jaehwan had given him the previous night and fixes his gaze ahead of him, never stopping to dwell on whether the people are looking at him funny, or whether he’s wearing his suit wrong.

 

_ You are here to kick ass. _

 

Jaehwan’s words, not his.

 

“Hey. Daniel, right?” a girl in a pretty dress comes up to him, flashing her smile.

 

He nods, but his eyes are searching elsewhere. There are a lot of people in this room but Daniel doesn’t doubt for a second that he would miss Park Jihoon. While the girl is telling him something, he sees a figure slip into the kitchen, but Daniel isn’t sure.

 

It’s a bold move, but Daniel is a respectful guest who will still greet the host.

 

Speaking of, Hwang Minhyun still looks like absolute royalty.

 

“You came,” Minhyun blinks at him.

 

“That I did,” Daniel replies curtly. “Thanks for the invite.”

 

“I’d advise you to carry yourself properly but it seems you have that in control,” Minhyun concludes their conversation as he pleases, leaving Daniel to his own devices.

 

The only thing Daniel gathers from that conversation is that Jihoon is not with Minhyun.

 

Where else could he be, then?

 

“Hey, nice suit, man,” someone compliments him. Daniel vaguely remembers him from one of his classes, and bows his head as a form of thanks. It seems that Seongwoo’s rented suits and Jaehwan’s weird false confidence formula is working for Daniel so far.

 

There’s only one tiny thing missing.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

Jihoon and alcohol are never a good match. It should be plain as sight to see, but the only people at this party that know of his unfortunate relationship with alcohol are Donghan and Minhyun, who are both nowhere to be found at the moment.

 

He’s not sure he should be drinking this bottle of whatever the hell he’s holding but it is making everything a lot easier.

 

Where the fuck is Kang Daniel?

 

And where the fuck is he?

 

It must be one of the bedrooms in this place.

 

Suddenly, Jihoon is very angry because obviously Daniel is the root cause of his drinking habits. If only Daniel hadn’t avoided Jihoon, hadn’t brushed him off like they weren’t friends - and the most ironic thing is that Daniel had been the one to ask Jihoon to be friends!

 

It hadn’t seemed important to Jihoon at first, but unknowingly, he’s started to rely on Daniel a lot more. He wobbles out of the bed and opens the door, happy to find some people standing around outside.

 

“Ya,” he taps the person nearest to him. “Get Kang Daniel here.”

 

They stare at him like he’s lost his mind.

 

“Aren’t you listening to me? Bring Kang Daniel to me right now.”

 

Whoever he’d disturbed just mutters curses under their breath but complies; probably knowing the relationship that Jihoon has with Minhyun and the power he holds. Within a minute, the man in question is standing in front of Jihoon, his face clear as day.

 

“Are you throwing a drunken fit right now? In here?”

 

Jihoon laughs at the irony.

 

“I know - I feel like that was your job last time, right?”

 

Daniel snatches the bottle away from him, “Well, you have to stop because people are staring and I can’t imagine how this could be good for you.”

 

Cold, so cold.

 

Both the air around Jihoon and Daniel’s tone.

 

“Do you need me to get Hwang Minhyun here?”

 

Jihoon just shakes his head, “He’s not going to make this better.”

 

His hand slips from the door knob and he almost falls face first onto the ground if not for Daniel’s arms that have quick reflexes and pull him up again.

 

Jihoon is sure Daniel must have meant it as a passing comment that he was never meant to hear but the mistake is that he does; Jihoon hears  _ everything _ , and he very clearly hears Daniel say, 

 

“So why did you pick him?”

 

It is the first time Jihoon doesn’t have an answer for Daniel.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

There’s no mistake about this.

 

Daniel’s falling, and he’s falling  _ fast _ .

 

He knows he is being mean when he asks Jihoon that question in the heat of the moment but it is something that has been ringing in Daniel’s mind for the longest time. It baffles him to no end why someone as deserving as Jihoon would ever choose someone that could never treat him like he really mattered, like he was  _ worth having _ .

 

“I don’t have an answer, okay?” Jihoon’s voice is getting louder by the minute, tears gathering in his eyes. He pushes Daniel away, pointing an accusing finger to his chest, “And if we’re going to be asking each other questions - then I have one for you. Why the fuck are you avoiding me?”

 

When Daniel remains tight-lipped about his answer as well, he finally says, “I guess we all do irrational things.”

 

_ It’s because I like you. _

 

The answer is so simple, yet Daniel cannot say it.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

 

 

 

_ Because I’d pick you - but you’re too good for me. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to those who were warned before: i hope it lessened the hurt!
> 
> this is a horrible early valentine's day gift but from the bottom of my heart thank you all for always making me feel so loved, and i hope that my writing can make you feel my love for you too!!!
> 
> do leave comments if you liked this chapter and i will update soon~! <3


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a sinking feeling - knowing that no matter how hard he tries, Daniel will never be as fast the other swimmers, and that no matter how hard he yearns for that certain somebody, he will just be another naive suitor to someone as unattainable as Jihoon.
> 
> Even if their fates are already written in the stars, is it possible to change the minds of the stars?

Daniel returns to the bed and Jihoon’s side with nothing more than a cup of ice water, which Jihoon is thankful for. He cups the glass in his hands and stares at it wordlessly, wondering what he should say to the boy who is staring down so intensely at him. Daniel looks different, and he even  _ feels  _ different to Jihoon. It’s not just the suit; it’s the overflowing charisma and confidence that Jihoon hasn’t seen exuded from the other ever.

 

“Drink,” Daniel commands when Jihoon continues to stare at him, then at the water.

 

Jihoon is afraid to lose Daniel, but if he doesn’t know what he has, how can he lose it?

 

Bringing the cup to his lips so that he will sober up somehow, Jihoon sighs again.

 

“Are you mad at me?”

 

The fact that Daniel had refused to answer Jihoon’s question  _ Why the fuck are you avoiding me?  _ says a lot about how Jihoon had somehow managed to fuck something up. He still doesn’t exactly know what  _ something  _ is, but it’s there.

 

The over-eager boy that is usually so excited to share his feelings with Jihoon has somehow become something so closed off, so distant and it terrifies Jihoon that something he’s gotten comfortable with so quickly could also disappear so fast.

 

Crossing his arms, Daniel just says, “Drink first, then we’ll talk.”

 

Obediently, Jihoon gulps down the entire glass of water and looks expectantly at Daniel.

 

“I’m not avoiding you.”

 

A laugh lets loose from Jihoon’s throat, but not the good kind. The defence mechanism kind. Jihoon doesn’t stand for any bullshit or lies, especially not when it concerns Daniel.

 

“Okay, fine- maybe I was avoiding you. But I’m not mad at you, that wasn’t my intention at all.”

 

Daniel explains his stance calmly and slowly, making sure that Jihoon is hearing everything he is saying. And  _ he is _ , but all Jihoon can really think about is how Daniel always happens to be there when he needs someone. It’s  _ always  _ Daniel who breaks down his walls,  _ always  _ Daniel who has to hear him cry and always Daniel who has to stand on the opposite end of the conversation.

 

Why does it have to be _ him? _

 

Crouching down to meet Jihoon’s eye level where he is sitting on the bed, Daniel hesitantly places his hands on Jihoon’s knees as if to give him some form of assurance.

 

And the worst thing is - Jihoon feels things he shouldn’t be feeling at all.

 

“I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

 

“How would I get hurt?” Jihoon challenges, disbelief flashing through his eyes as his first instinct is to defend himself. He’s strong, not a weak little boy who needs protection from any stranger. “You don’t even- you don’t know  _ anything _ .”

 

It’s true. Daniel’s knowledge of Jihoon scratches the mere surface but he supposes he cannot blame anyone else except himself for that.

 

Daniel’s jaw clenches ever so slightly at Jihoon’s stinging words.

 

“You’re right, I don’t know you  _ at all _ . I mean, fuck all the times I opened up to you, screw the times where I was truly myself with you. Let’s face it; I guess that didn’t mean anything to you - and it shouldn’t to me either.”

 

Jihoon wants to scream at how infuriating Daniel is being.

 

_ Of course it meant something to me. _

 

But no words come out of his mouth, and his fists are only balled up into fists, clenching the sheets between his fingers in pure anger.

 

“Would you even be willing to take that risk?”

 

The words only spill out when Daniel’s hand is on the doorknob, ready to leave Jihoon alone again.

 

Jihoon rises from the bed, now fuelled by anger to fight back.

 

“I asked if you would be able to take the pressure of knowing me, or if you would even want to try knowing me beyond the surface. Because if you’re all talk and walk away from me in the end, then don’t even bother trying in the first place.”

 

Because Jihoon has been through too many people like that.

 

People who say they want to get to know you, people who try to gain your trust, and people who allow you to be vulnerable with them - only to leave you alone in the end. And for Jihoon, the  _ memories  _ are no longer enough, not when he’d rather the whole thing never happened at all.

 

The look in Daniel’s eyes do not soften at all. Instead, he locks the door behind him and steps towards Jihoon again.

 

“I think the real question here is; are you willing to let  _ me  _ in?”

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

Jihoon looks absolutely stunning under the warm glow of the lamp in the corner of the room, the only source of illumination between the two of them. But it shouldn’t come as a surprise to Daniel, not when he’s always known deep down that Jihoon was, to him, an ethereal being above all he has laid eyes on before. The white silk dress he has on leaves little to imagination but Daniel forces himself to stop  _ there _ .

 

Because they’re  _ not  _ anything. They’ll never be anything so it would be a complete waste of time for Daniel to do anything more than to imagine.

 

When Jihoon remains tight-lipped, Daniel thinks he has his answer.

 

“I knew it,” he nods. “You haven’t changed at all. From the first day I knew you; you’re still never going to let me in. I don’t know if it’s because you don’t trust me enough or I’m just never going to be good enough for you-”

 

All his bottled up insecurities from before start to spill, the immense pressure from always being at the bottom of the food chain, to trusting his most vulnerable state with Jihoon only to be deemed as unworthy. It’s just too mentally exhausting.

 

The last thing that Daniel expects is for Jihoon gently cup his face and bring his own closer.

 

His breathing almost stops - even if he knows it’s not right; he’ll just have to pick up the broken pieces on his own later anyway. No doubt Jihoon is intoxicated and Daniel himself has a bit of alcohol in his system.

 

But that isn’t even the most dangerous thing.

 

Alcohol could never cloud his judgement like his hidden emotions will.

 

“Can I?” Jihoon’s breath ghosts on Daniel’s lips as his fists crumple Daniel’s suit in his fingers.

 

Daniel gives Jihoon his answer by placing his lips on the other boy’s first.

 

It’s everything that he’s never imagined.

 

Because he’s never dared to.

 

Jihoon is enthusiastic in giving his all into this kiss, and Daniel appreciates that by wrapping his arms around the other’s sinfully thin waist which is a stark contrast to his broad shoulders. Daniel knows that with every added second that their bodies are with each other, only leaves for them a bigger mess to clean up later on. Because with Jihoon, there’s no definite, there’s only risk taking and the unknown.

 

But who the hell is kidding.

 

Daniel doesn’t have any idea what he is doing either; all his thoughts are on Jihoon right here and right now, and them being away from the scrutiny of the judgemental teenagers right outside this door.

 

Jihoon punctuates the end of their kiss with another sloppy one on Daniel’s jaw, which only leaves him wanting for more, only to know that their moment is over.

 

“We can’t do this, can we?”

 

He doesn’t ever mean for his voice to break, but when you look at someone as enchanting as Park Jihoon only to know that you’ll never be able to have him, it hurts.

 

“Give me time,” Jihoon replies.

 

“I don’t think you’ll be able to give up Hwang Minhyun.”

 

There.

 

He’s said it - the only thing holding him back from letting his feelings go wild. Instead, he keeps his heart properly guarded with a key he know he doesn’t hold. Because what Seongwoo said before is right, Jihoon and Minhyun are people that are unable to co-exist without the other, and Daniel will never be able to give Jihoon what Minhyun can.

 

“I’m not with Hwang Minhyun,” Jihoon says sternly.

 

“I know, you wouldn’t have kissed me if you were. But I don’t think you’ll ever be able to choose anyone over him and I’m not going to waste my time chasing someone who is never going to come to me.”

 

If only Jihoon knew; how much bigger the world was. And that the person he deserved wasn’t someone who would hurt him over and over again. He didn’t even have to look far - Daniel was right in front of him.

 

“Don’t leave.”

 

“I’m not leaving, I’m giving us some space to think.”

 

Hell if saying that doesn’t hurt Daniel the most. He’d been the one that promised that he’d be  _ there  _ for Jihoon. It’s all cheap talk now that they’re both painfully aware of their conflicting feelings for each other.

 

“Space,” Jihoon echoes. “I could do with some space.”

 

“We both could,” Daniel says. “We’ll talk when we’re both sober.”

 

This is possibly the best conclusion that they could both come to right now.

 

There’s a hard knock on the door, and only then does the rumbling sounds of the party return to Daniel’s ears, the chatter filling up the earlier silence again.

 

He moves to unlock the front door, and doesn’t even bat an eyelid when Minhyun’s flustered expression meets his.

 

“He’s inside. Take care of him.”

 

Even though Daniel has a sinking feeling of all the possibilities of leaving Jihoon alone with Minhyun, he doesn’t look back. Not even once. He leaves the party with a light buzz in his head.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

Minhyun is hesitant when it comes to touching Jihoon, as if he doesn’t recognise the boy sitting on his bed.

 

“Are you okay, Jihoonie?”

 

“Just fine- I had too much to drink.”

 

“I’ll get you some Advil and water, how did it come to this? I heard people talking, saying that you called for Kang Daniel and he came. I guess I’m just trying to ask: why’d you call for him instead of me?”

 

The answer is so painfully obvious.

 

It’s not because Daniel’s easier or more convenient. God,  _ never _ .

 

For now, Jihoon can only warm himself up in Minhyun’s embrace and pretend that it is someone else running his fingers through his hair.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

The first thing that Daniel does when he returns from the party is to strip himself down of the stunningly expensive suit that he’s somehow gotten the opportunity to wear. He instantly feels sorry towards Seongwoo and Jaehwan, they’d probably hoped for this suit to somehow transform Daniel into a Prince Charming that could sweep everyone off their feet.

 

Well, all he’s left with is a lousy aftertaste of the elite world.

 

As if a suit could change him, and as if Park Jihoon would look at him any differently.

 

At least Byul still loves him.

 

The golden puppy that is now significantly larger when they had first found it jumps into Daniel’s lap playfully, using his puppy eyes to try and coerce Daniel into playing fetch with him. He eventually gives in until they’re both exhausted and Daniel can only lie on his bed in his pyjamas, stroking Byul’s head until they both eventually fall asleep.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

“Space, huh. I’ve never had anyone give me space before.”

 

“Lucky me,” Jihoon replies sarcastically as he waves a carrot in Woojin’s face and promptly gets pushed away after. He then lowers his voice when he catches Minhyun’s eye on him from the swimmer’s table and he offers the other a kind wave in response, “Look, you’re the only one I’ve told about this, okay?”

 

“Do you think I’m the type to snitch?” Woojin crosses his arms sternly, now offended.

 

“Well- no but-”

 

“Chill, I was just messing with you,” Woojin rolls his eyes, promptly cutting Jihoon off before he can feel any more guilty for accusing his friend of being a snitch. “Well I guess if you two just talked and decided on giving each other some space, that’s what you should do. Give yourself time to think this through.”

 

That’s great advice. Stunning, actually.

 

If only Jihoon and Daniel had  _ just talked _ .

 

The kiss.

 

It’s been playing like a broken record in Jihoon’s brain and even the amount of alcohol he had apparently consumed that night was not able to wash out a specific memory of Jihoon locking lips with Daniel. The rest of the night was more of a blur, with Jihoon’s heart empty and his stomach on the verge of throwing itself up. The hangover was hard to cure.

 

The heartache? Jihoon hasn’t quite figured  _ that  _ out yet.

 

He just shrugs at Woojin, “It shouldn’t be a big deal, right? Friends give each other space all the time.”

 

And friends don’t kiss each other.

 

Jihoon still doesn’t know what came over his mind that night.

 

“Uh-oh, trouble at three o'clock,” Woojin warns before arms are straddled around Jihoon’s shoulder - an attempt of public display of affection Jihoon is not especially comfortable with.

 

“Hey,” Minhyun blinks. “You okay? I couldn’t reach you over the entire weekend.”

 

“The hangover,” Jihoon blurts out as an attempt at explanation.

 

And the kiss, too.

 

“You feeling better?”

 

The worst thing is that Minhyun is genuinely concerned. And while Jihoon isn’t obliged to say anything to Minhyun because they’re not together, he still feels a slight pinch of guilt in his gut when Minhyun’s hand covers his forehead.

 

“It’s not a fever,” Jihoon laughs nervously. “I’m fine now, thank you.”

 

And all this time - Woojin is still giving Jihoon the look.

 

Minhyun too, finally seems to notice the presence of a third party.

 

“Just wanted to come over and check on you, and also ask if you’d be free to come down and watch me swim at the qualifiers this week,” Minhyun suggests, “You can come with Woojin, too.”

 

The first instinct is to say no.

 

Going to Minhyun’s swim meets is something Jihoon used to do when they were dating. Falling back into the old routine just seems scary and predictable.

 

“I don’t know hyung, I have a lot to catch up on,” Jihoon laughs nervously.

 

“I understand,” Minhyun replies, petting Jihoon’s head sweetly. “It’s fine, I’d just feel a lot better if you were there. But it’s okay, we’ll have dinner soon, alright? My week’s packed because of training so… it’s going to be a while before I see you again.”

 

The life of a Honour Roll student and star athlete of the school is indeed, horrifying.

 

“Kay, hyung.”

 

The thing is - those swim meets meant something to Jihoon. Nothing brought him more joy than seeing Minhyun do exceptionally well at something he loved so much, only to realise that the smile on his face when he’d realised Jihoon was cheering for him was as large as the one where he’d ascended on the podium to receive his prize.

 

Woojin kicks him hard in the shin when Minhyun leaves.

 

“You’re still going to go, aren’t you?”

 

Jihoon can only hope that Woojin is still going to be friends with him after this.

 

“I’ll buy you dinner if you come along.”

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

“You’re looking a little down today, champ.”

 

Daniel sighs at the new face, “You can tell?”

 

“If it wasn’t for the rain cloud over your head I would  _ never  _ have known,” Seongwoo replies very sarcastically. “No, Daniel. It’s the fact that I’ve been standing in front of you for a whole five minutes and you haven’t even said hi or acknowledged my presence.”

 

He blinks hard and realizes that he’s been spacing out for a longer time than he’d like to admit.

 

“What’s up?” Seongwoo grabs Daniel’s books on behalf of him.

 

Dragging his feet across the hallway to class, Daniel can only shrug.

 

“Something happened with the feisty one?”

 

“Might as well tell my entire fortune,” Daniel hisses, then composes himself again. Seongwoo didn’t deserve that, he’s just feeling frustrated. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you.”

 

“It’s alright, Niel. You’re just feeling the stress,” Seongwoo smiles. “It’s going to be okay.”

 

Right, because even if it doesn’t seem that way now, it will seem like a small later on.

 

That does Daniel a bit more confidence and energy to start his day right. He waves goodbye to Seongwoo as he has to catch his next class.

 

Only he runs into the person he wants to see least in the world right now. The boy literally crashes into Daniel’s chest as he turns around the corner into class, his notes and books flying everywhere over the floor. Almost immediately, Daniel bends down to help him pick them up, his ears reddening in the process as he tries his best to avoid the other’s eye.

 

“It’s,” Jihoon’s protests fall onto deaf ears as Daniel quickly returns the notes to him. “It’s okay, I can do it myself…”

 

It would be too rude to walk away but too weird to say anything.

 

“Hey,” Daniel manages.   
  


“Hey,” Jihoon replies very coldly, hugging his books closer to his chest as if they acted as some sort of shield against Daniel.

 

Even though Jihoon doesn’t say anything more, Daniel can still recognise the look of hurt that flashes across Jihoon’s eye when he glances at Daniel for a mere second.

 

“Class is starting,” Jihoon says as a closing comment to their encounter as he rushes back into the classroom, leaving Daniel to stand alone out in the hallway.

 

Space, right?

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

Seongwoo starts to hum a tune he’d heard on the radio this morning, thoroughly enjoying the day he has planned out for himself. He’s about to go grab a cup of coffee from the college cafe, probably meet up with Jaehwan for lunch and kind of wing it for dinner but bottom line is, he’s caught up with all of his works and his project meetings have, by some kind of miracle, been cancelled.

 

It’s a wonderful day to be alive.

 

Seongwoo practically skips past the shortcut he’s learned is taken by almost no students, giving him the freedom of humming his songs without getting judgemental looks from others.

 

Mutters from a distance away catch Seongwoo’s attention - the knowledge of this path between the school and dorms is few and far between. He wouldn’t want his path to become overpopulated with the elites. Frowning, Seongwoo tries to catch a glimpse of the intruders.

 

He ducks behind a bush when he recognises a familiar swim team jacket.

 

_ H. Minhyun _

 

Seongwoo lets out a squeak at his rotten luck, just loud enough to draw the attention of the swimmer and his unidentified counterpart.

 

Immediately, he turns to pretending like he hasn’t seen a thing because god forbid he get involved with anyone outside of his social circle - especially someone like  _ Hwang Minhyun _ .

 

“Hey!”

 

Seongwoo ignores the shouts he knows are directed at him and quickens his pace.

 

A hand on his shoulder startles him.

 

“I didn’t see anything!”

 

Hwang Minhyun just peers curiously into Seongwoo’s eyes, and in that instant Seongwoo knows that his guiltiest dreams have just come true. He knows Hwang Minhyun is a horrible person to Daniel but before Daniel came along, there was  _ the hopeless crush _ on Hwang Minhyun.

 

_ Of course _ , that now is a thing of the past.

 

No doubt.

 

“I didn’t ask if you saw anything, but thank you for that information,” Minhyun replies assertively.

 

“Um,” Seongwoo responds very smartly.

 

All he wanted was a cup of coffee.

 

“You’re not going to tell anyone about this, are you?”

 

Seongwoo shakes his head fervently. Of course he is not going to tell Daniel and Jaehwan that his long time buried crush is meeting someone shady behind the school.

 

Minhyun narrows his eyes at Seongwoo, as if assessing whether to believe him.

 

He finally removes his grip from Seongwoo’s shoulder.

 

“Okay,” Minhyun decides. “Don’t use this shortcut anymore, it’s dangerous when you’re alone.”

 

Seongwoo just huffs as he distances himself from the other.

 

Hwang Minhyun is very, very weird.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

It still feels like a dream to Daniel when he stands on the starting block at the edge of the pool. He’s here - the little boy that could barely swim half a lap without struggling for air is finally here, at the qualifiers of the annual swim meet he’s been dreaming of swimming at since day 1.

 

The first few heats of his event have passed in a blink of an eye and while it is very detrimental to know how talented the rest of the swimmers are, it’s also eye-opening and such an inspiring experience for Daniel.

 

He takes the first lane for the first time today as the announcer beings introducing the different singers from each lane, each from different schools.

 

“In lane 1, Monumental College, Kang Daniel.”

 

There are distributed claps among the audience which boosts Daniel’s confidence a little.

 

“Whoooo!!! Kang Daniel! Way to go, hot stuff!” a familiar yelp surrounds the stadium as Daniel takes off his shirt and begins to stretch while the announcer moves on to the other swimmers.

 

As soon as his eyes gaze over the spectator stands, he sees a very familiar figure in their school’s official jacket waving like a crazed fan in Daniel’s direction. A smile tugs on his lips as Seongwoo tries to cover his face in embarrassment from Jaehwan’s antics.

 

“Lane 5, Monumental College, Hwang Minhyun.”

 

The screams are more obvious this time in support of their school’s star swimmer.

 

It doesn’t bother Daniel in the least bit because even though he is a bit of a small fry compared to a giant like Hwang Minhyun who will probably catch the eye of some professional coaches here today, he’s still going to show everyone what he’s made of.

 

For a while, he’s been looked down on, ridiculed and excluded just because he doesn’t have riches or connections to back him up.

 

Today - he takes on that challenge.

 

Daniel looks towards his friends one last time as he steps onto the starting block for encouragement, then feels his heart drop to the floor when a smaller figure comes sprinting into the spectator stands in a frazzled manner, and somehow still manages to squeeze his way into the first row next to his friend.

 

Suddenly, Daniel doesn’t feel so confident anymore.

 

Because to anyone else, he could seem like a loser.

 

But just once, Daniel would really love to not lose out to anyone else; especially in front of Park Jihoon.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

“Oh, finally,” Woojin hisses under his breath when Jihoon pushes his way into the tiny space between Woojin and the next person. He’s still panting from the short sprint from the bus stop outside.

 

He just didn’t want to miss this.

 

“I was wondering if you were only going to be here when it was time to leave.”

 

“Shut up, I was caught up with a Professor. I rushed down as quickly as I could. Have they started yet?” Jihoon squints to get a good look at the competitors today.

 

Only  _ one  _ catches his eye.

 

“They’re about to,” Woojin shrugs. “Though I’d say that this round is a no brainer.”

 

“What do you mean?” Jihoon questions.

 

“You know what I mean. The game’s over when Hwang Minhyun is in lane 5.”

 

Woojin pauses for a while after that, and when Jihoon thinks that it is because he is waiting for the whistle to be blown to signal the start of the race; Woojin says something that drowns out the screams of support when the whistle is blown and the swimmers dive into the water.

 

“But that’s not who you are looking at, is it?”

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

“Fight it, fight it, fight it.”

 

With every stroke and every breath that Daniel takes, the two words repeat in his head like some sort of mantra. His mind is blank, the only thing remaining is a picture of Jihoon locking eyes with him just as the whistle was blown, prompting his legs to bring him into the water by instinct.

 

At this point of time, he is working on muscle memory alone.

 

Four strokes and then one breath. And repeat.

 

He’s a machine that is swimming, yet his mind is only filled with that one thing.

 

But he still wants to fight  _ it _ .

 

The sinking feeling knowing that no matter how hard he tries, he will never be as fast as some of the other swimmers, and the knowledge that no matter how hard he yearns for that certain somebody, he will just be another naive suitor to someone as unattainable as Jihoon.

 

Even if their fates are already written in the stars, is it possible to change the minds of the stars?

 

Daniel would very much like to try.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

Jihoon would never think of himself as someone who would always root for the underdogs, but with everyone yelling out a certain man’s name while his heart is screaming another, he wonders if he is just a masochist that revels in the pain brought about by constantly depriving himself of what he  _ knows  _ he wants.

 

And while the chance could be too risky to take - Jihoon wishes that for once, he could act without thought of the following consequences. He just wants to think about the in between, and how he knows it will be everything he’s ever dreamed of.

 

He just doesn’t know if he’s brave enough to make that jump.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

It’s like watching a miracle happen with his very own eyes.

 

On the second lap, as if possessed by some sort of swimming god, Daniel’s speed starts to increase at an unthinkable rate. He pulls past seventh place, and then the sixth. It is already almost impossible for Daniel to catch up any more when he is fifth, but he continues to pull forward amidst the cheers of the crowd.

 

It is as though Daniel is suddenly visible to everyone; his strength and bravery that has been hidden because of the blinded audience is finally clear as day for everyone in this stadium to witness.

 

And Jihoon - Jihoon is very glad to know that the flame inside Daniel’s heart will never die. Maybe it is because of that; that Jihoon feels the same courage to prove something to himself as well.

 

So when Daniel finishes just a hair behind first place, Jihoon cannot help but jump up from his seat and cheer for him with all of his heart; and he doesn’t even feel a bit of shame when Daniel’s eyes find him first from where he is still in the water, and they share a warm smile Jihoon is sure is fuelled by the flames in both their hearts.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

“I’m so glad you made it.”

 

“I tried my best,” Jihoon offers shyly under the scrutiny of the other swimmers in the room. “Congrats on finishing first, hyung.”

 

It is only cordial to come and see Minhyun after that mind-blowing win he held over all the other swimmers. He bows and greets the other swimmers in the room, but the only one he is looking for is nowhere to be seen.

 

“I couldn’t have done it without you,” Minhyun confesses, the tips of his ears reddening as a sign of his genuine embarrassment. He buries his face into Jihoon’s shoulders as his swimmates hoot and cheer for him in the background. Jihoon too, feels his face burning up at Minhyun’s cheesy words.

 

“What are you t-talking about,” Jihoon stutters. “I didn’t do anything.”

 

Minhyun smiles, and Jihoon has to resist the instinctive urge to go back to where he is most familiar with and try to follow his heart - at least this once.

 

“Should we have dinner together?” Minhyun holds both of Jihoon’s hands in his own. “I want to celebrate this special day with you.”

 

Jihoon opens his mouth to protest. Until he catches a glimpse of Kang Daniel’s back passing their waiting room.

 

“Actually- is it okay if we celebrate another day, hyung? I have something to do right now.”

 

Minhyun looks confused but nods, “Okay. I’ll call you.”

 

Jihoon knows he will.

 

In that instant, he pushes all the worries to the back of his mind and sprints out of the room. And finally, he feels free.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

Jihoon’s steps slow to a stop just before where Daniel is standing.

 

He’s not alone. In fact, Daniel has more of a support team than Jihoon expects.

 

Jihoon stands a distance away, where he can still catch bits of their conversation.

 

“You said you wouldn’t be able to come!” Daniel gleefully protests, and Jihoon rolls his eyes at Daniel’s complete inability to conceal his joy. But maybe that is one of the things Jihoon really likes about Daniel. He’s genuine. Very breathtakingly so.

 

“I wasn’t able to watch you swim - but I rushed over as soon as I heard the news. Jaehwan sent me the video as well so you can just pretend that I was there.”

 

“It’s alright. I could have made a complete fool of myself and I’d be glad if there were less of you there to see it.”

 

Complete fool.  _ Yeah, right _ .

 

Jihoon’s almost completely positive that Kang Daniel is the only thing that students will be talking about for a long time.

 

He’s also not sure when exactly Daniel and the guy from back at the vet-  _ Sungwoon _ , had gotten close but judging by the hug he gives Daniel and the stalk of rose he brings out from his coat’s pocket for Daniel, Jihoon is guessing that there are still a lot of things he does not know about Daniel.

 

In fact, he didn’t know Daniel could smile  _ that much _ . Not until today.

 

They look good together. It shouldn’t be the first thing that comes into Jihoon’s mind but just like he cannot control his feelings, he learns that he cannot control the ugly emotions that show themselves.

 

“Looks like I’ll have to treat you to dinner today-” the words die on Sungwoon’s lips when he finally notices Jihoon staring at them. “Um, hey Niel, I think  _ someone’s  _ looking for you.”

 

It feels like there is a lump in Jihoon’s throat that just won’t go away when Daniel turns to look at him, and it only makes things worse when there is genuine surprise and confusion mixed into Daniel’s expression as if he doesn’t know why Jihoon would be here.

 

Daniel signals to his friends to wait for him, and advances towards Jihoon.

 

“Hey,” he says just for the two of them to hear.

 

“Hey,” Jihoon finally manages. “Can we talk? Do you have time?”

 

“I have time if you do,” Daniel shrugs. “Do you want to talk here?”

 

Just once, Jihoon tells himself.

 

_ Be brave. _

 

He reaches for Daniel’s wrist and feels his heart implode into a million tiny pieces after.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

There’s a stuffy silence that follows Jihoon after they move to a quieter place, somewhere behind the arena where no one can see them. Jihoon doesn’t really care - all he can really think about is how different things are now that he is painfully aware of his feelings.

 

Daniel waves a hand in front of Jihoon.

 

“Hey? Jihoon?”

 

He blinks, realising he’s been zoning out.

 

“Ah. I just- I just wanted to congratulate you on your placing today. It was phenomenal.”

 

Daniel breaks out into a pretty smile. Why has Jihoon never realised how pretty his smile could be before today?

 

“Well… I’m just glad you came today.”

 

Since when was the silence between them this uncomfortable?

 

“Look,” Jihoon sighs. “I think I’ve had enough of that bullshit “space” thing.”

 

Daniel’s eyebrow twitches, as if being reminded of what had happened more than a week ago, in Minhyun’s bedroom. It’s almost as if Jihoon is talking to two different people because the Daniel now looks so different from the Daniel then. This Daniel is softer, warmer and much more puppy like.

 

But it doesn’t change anything.

 

“You brought me to the middle of nowhere to tell me that?”

 

Daniel’s teasing tone is something Jihoon doesn’t know he’s missed.

 

“Shut up, you- I’m trying to be nice!”

 

“I know,” Daniel smiles. “And I really appreciate it. I’m sorry for avoiding you then, that was unfair.”

 

“Are you ever going to tell me what I did wrong? So I know not to do it again?”

 

Daniel shakes his head, “What happened wasn’t your fault. It was mine. It’s not something you can fix.”

 

“Not even if I really want to try?” Jihoon pleads.

 

“I don’t think you could,” Daniel remains his strong stance, completely unwilling to budge and Jihoon wonders why.

 

That line sounds ghostly familiar to Jihoon; as if he’d heard a variation of that sentence from Daniel before. And suddenly he remembers.

 

_ “I don’t think you’ll be able to give up Hwang Minhyun.” _

 

The realisation dawns upon Jihoon that even Daniel thinks that Jihoon belongs with Minhyun. He starts to wonder if this is all a huge mistake. His eyes water, mirroring Daniel’s which are suddenly serious.

 

Closing his eyes, Jihoon tries to let his heart make the decision for him.

 

He does not hold back this time. If their previous kiss was gentle and hesitant, this one is more straightforward and purposeful. Jihoon thinks that his lips still remember how Daniel’s had felt  _ that night _ , because he unconsciously sighs in pure pleasure when Daniel’s lips mould perfectly with his.

 

And God does he recall the protective way Daniel’s arms had circled around his waist.

 

Daniel pulls away from Jihoon’s lower lip slowly, and it is torturing.

 

“Jihoon, are you sure?” Daniel’s breath hitches.

 

“I-I don’t know,” Jihoon’s voice is unusually shaky.

 

“What does that mean?”

 

“It means that I have no idea what the hell I’m doing and it feels like I am on autopilot. I- You feel so right for me but at the same time, I don’t know-”

 

Daniel’s arms slacken around his waist, a sign of him slipping away from Jihoon again.

 

“Fuck. I’m sorry,” Jihoon’s head drops against Daniel’s chest.

 

_ So close. _

 

Just how many more times does Jihoon have to try to have to tear away from the invisible chains that are tying him down? Because it is terrifying how much he actually feels for someone that is Hwang Minhyun.

 

Never in a million years would he have bet on this happening. Ever.

 

“Don’t say sorry,” Jihoon hears Daniel say as his hands gently caress Jihoon’s back.

 

He is a terrible person. And Daniel deserves a whole lot better.

 

“I don’t want to be apart,” Jihoon blabbers, throwing the entire concept of pride away. “I don’t need space, I need time.”

 

Daniel makes Jihoon look at him by tipping his chin upwards.

 

“Whatever you choose to do - I just don’t want you to get hurt. You hear me?”

 

Jihoon’s head nods slowly.

 

“You’re going to be okay by yourself?” Daniel makes sure. “They’re waiting for me.”

 

“I’m going to be just fine,” Jihoon replies. “I-”

 

“Time,” Daniel echoes on behalf of Jihoon. “I hear you; loud and clear.”

 

Jihoon manages a small smile.

 

“Thank you.”

 

His fingers linger on Daniel’s before the other leaves him just as the sun dips below the clouds.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

Walking away from Jihoon has got to be one of the hardest things that Daniel has had to do, but it is only necessary. On one hand, he understands the inner turmoil that Jihoon is going through and while Daniel would love to sweep Jihoon off his feet and make Jihoon his while there is a chance, Daniel only wants to be  _ completely sure _ that Jihoon is a 100% with him on this idea.

 

Time.

 

What a unique measurement of how far Daniel really is from Jihoon.

 

He is glad Jihoon doesn’t need space; because it was starting to be torturing for Daniel as well. Time, Daniel thinks he can bear. Being apart from someone who brings him pure joy - he is not so sure.

 

Daniel is sure Jihoon is wondering exactly how long Daniel can wait for him.

 

Whatever Jihoon has in mind, Daniel thinks he is willing to wait another two, three, infinite amount of times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /makes them wait 11 chapters to kiss twice and leave it at nothing/
> 
> i hope u all enjoyed this update and hopefully i will be able to update faster in the coming few weeks~ do leave down comments because i love reading all your reactions and it motivates me to write huhu but until the next one please take care <3


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> minhyun ends up leaning on someone he least expects -
> 
> \- and finally, jihoon and daniel make a home in each other.

Life returns to normal for Daniel. And by normal he really means life before complicated feelings got in the way. Jihoon’s holding him at arm’s length; which only warrants Daniel a polite smile and  _ nothing more _ at the beginning and end of every class.

 

It’s as if both the kisses they’ve shared have been completely forgotten, just conveniently swept under the rug, never to be talked about again. And it pains Daniel because they were so close,  _ so close _ to being something yet he’s never felt as far away from Jihoon as now. But who can Daniel blame - he was the one who had accepted Jihoon’s plea for more time.

 

Apart from playing pretend, Daniel also likes to play the slight avoidance game. It is a game where he doesn’t make it obvious; but he tries to avoid confrontation with Jihoon whenever possible. It’s just for the best. He’s not mad, he’s just trying to let himself down easy.

 

Especially because Daniel sees Minhyun everyday, without fail, waiting outside their classes for Jihoon to finish. Jihoon too, allows himself to be whisked away without much protest.

 

Daniel feels stupid for hoping.

 

Minhyun and Jihoon make the perfect couple even if Jihoon denies to death about it. And Daniel decides that it is time to face the music - he’s never going to be one of Jihoon’s choices.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

It’s hard, really hard for Jihoon to act like everything is okay, when it really isn’t. Not when he goes to bed every night and the last thing he thinks about is how he kissed Kang Daniel twice; yet it seems like nothing has changed. People go on with their lives, and even Daniel doesn’t mention it to Jihoon, not even once.

 

“Not hungry, Jihoonie?”

 

Minhyun’s voice jolts Jihoon out of his daydream, and he can only stare emptily at the plate full of food in front of him. They’re having medium well done steak today with carrots and broccoli at a restaurant just a few streets down from the school. Minhyun just frowns at the silence and picks out Jihoon’s broccolis for him.

 

“There, better?”

 

_ He remembers. _

 

Jihoon would never have put money on Minhyun noticing these little things about himself. But he does and Jihoon thinks that it is easy to see Minhyun in his future. Maybe that’s why his parents are pushing him to be with Minhyun. He’s perfect.

 

“Thanks, hyung,” he manages to choke out before he arouses any more suspicion. “I’m just full from lunch.”

 

Jihoon didn’t eat lunch today.

 

“You should eat, or you’ll get tired when you study later. Do you want me to get you some healthy snacks? You can eat them later when you’re feeling hungry.”

 

“I try not to snack after midnight.”

 

He feels horrible. Minhyun had taken time out of his tight schedule to squeeze in a dinner with Jihoon just before their midterms, which is essentially Jihoon’s last chance to impress his father before he comes down to their school and makes a scene again. In a way, he is thankful to Minhyun because his dorm suddenly feels very stuffy whenever he tries to start memorizing his notes.

 

But he just can’t help but think about Kang Daniel.

 

In a way, everything and anything reminds him of Daniel.

 

Jihoon wonders if Daniel is preparing well for their midterms, being the first major exam he will take in Monumental since he’s transferred, and worries if Daniel is ever going to catch up. He’s a smart boy, he can manage himself, but Jihoon just can’t help but worry.

 

“Jihoonie? Are you not feeling well?”

 

Minhyun is losing his patience; Jihoon can tell.

 

“I’m sorry, hyung. I’m just-”

 

The remaining part of the sentence dies on Jihoon’s lips as the bell above the front door of the restaurant chimes, and a figure starts dragging another boy in.

 

“Shut up and let me buy you dinner already. You’ve been eating junk food for the past three days and have slept less than twelve hours. After this, we’re going back and sleeping for 10 hours straight. Ah-  _ hello _ . Table for two please.”

 

And hell if Jihoon doesn’t recognise the way Daniel gathers his hands respectfully in front of his body when he’s embarrassed, and how he lets himself get pulled by the wrist into the nearest booth with Ha Sungwoon.

 

“This place is expensive,” Jihoon overhears Daniel hissing.

 

“I’m paying,” Sungwoon snaps, flipping through the menu. “Are you saying I can’t afford it?”

 

“That’s not what I-”

 

“Then eat,  _ Niel _ .”

 

Jihoon didn’t know they were close enough to have dinner with each other and address the other so comfortably. Then again, he doesn’t know a lot of things about Daniel.

 

“Your friends had to call me to get you out of the dorm for some food. Do you even realise how hard you’re being on yourself? You’re an athlete -  _ God _ , you should be the one taking care of your body more than anything.”

 

Daniel allows himself to be chided by Sungwoon, tipping his head in embarrassment as he reads through the menu. Jihoon just sighs from his seat.

 

_ He was struggling.  _ Somehow, it hurts more to find out like this.

 

“Here, I’ve cut up the steak for you. Eat,” Minhyun pushes the plate toward Jihoon.

 

Clenching his fists in frustration under the table, Jihoon comes to a realisation that there’s one question he’s always wanted to ask Minhyun; yet never had the chance or courage to.

 

He clears his throat, “Um… hyung?”

 

Minhyun brightens instantly at Jihoon’s one comment.

 

“Yeah?”

 

The words are stuck in his throat; probably because he is afraid to hear the answer.

 

“Why do you like me?”

 

Minhyun looks very confused at the question, then he puts down his fork and knife slowly.

 

“I really like you a lot, Jihoonie,” Minhyun says, enunciating every word as if he’s afraid Jihoon won’t hear them.

 

There he goes again, making Jihoon’s heart flutter with just seven words. But he stands his ground, nodding solemnly, “I know, hyung. And when I liked you before, I liked you because I thought you were someone who was passionate. You never missed a swim meet, you always made sure to give it your best.”

 

He pauses.

 

“And I liked you because you treated your parents and friends well.”

 

Jihoon recalls, very clearly.

 

“You were my best listening ear. You were there at my lowest, and you’re the best advice giver. Not only do you advice me - you also listen and comfort me. I liked all this about you, hyung. Did you know?”

 

By now, Minhyun has completely stopped chewing. The steak sits cold on their respective plates, Jihoon’s untouched.

 

“No, I didn’t know,” Minhyun replies. “Now I do.”

 

Jihoon smiles, “I’m glad. But hyung, you haven’t answered my question. Why do  _ you  _ like me?”

 

He’s struggling, and Jihoon can see it. He’s always wondered what drove a wedge in their relationship. Minhyun was the perfect boyfriend, and Jihoon could list a hundred and one things he loved about the other man. But maybe, just maybe he could stop making the list from now on.

 

“You’re smart, Jihoonie,” Minhyun decides.

 

“I wasn’t,” Jihoon recalls. “I was at the bottom of my class, remember? You tutored me.”

 

“I just brought out your potential,” Minhyun argues. “You’re… supportive. You’re always there at my swim meets.”

 

“I had to be,” Jihoon replies sadly. “What would the other people say? About the boyfriend of the star swimmer in the school. Even if I didn’t want to attend, even if I was exhausted, I didn’t want people to think of you as any less if I wasn’t there.”

 

“I didn’t know,” Minhyun replies softly.

 

“You’re also very caring to your family.”

 

“Hyung, I despise them.”

 

At this point, Jihoon’s heard enough. The reason’s loud and clear.

 

“I don’t doubt for a second that you liked me. I just think you liked me for the wrong reasons. You fell for the person you made me become. You made me your perfect, intelligent, supportive, and caring boyfriend in your head and fell for that narrative when I’m  _ nothing  _ like that. Even at your lowest, I loved you. When you were vulnerable and broken, I felt like I could finally be there for you like I was always meant to be. Not as that perfect boyfriend, but as that boyfriend I’ve always wanted to be for you - but hyung, that was when  _ you  _ pushed me away.”

 

“I didn’t want you to see me like that.”

 

Even if talking about the past hurts Jihoon and Minhyun alike - he knows that pretending that part of their life never existed is only going to hurt more in the future.

 

“You treated me like I could never understand, like I could never help you.”

 

“It was for the best-”

 

“No. You don’t get to decide what’s best, not when I’m in this relationship as well. I was okay;  okay with you throwing tantrums because things were shitty for you. I was ready to endure all that for you. But you threw me away - and acted like I didn’t exist.”

 

“I was  _ just your boyfriend _ ,” Jihoon says after a deep breath. “Never a friend, never someone you could confide in. You never trusted me enough to let me in.”

 

He’d built his world and trust around Hwang Minhyun, and to find out that his feelings would never be reciprocated in the same way felt like having a sword driven through his body - knowing that the love of his life pushed him away so easily.

 

Minhyun seems baffled and Jihoon understands. It’s the most he’s spoken tonight.

 

Looking back, Jihoon knows a small part of him will  _ always  _ love Hwang Minhyun.

 

How can he not?

 

“Jihoonie,” Minhyun’s breath is shaky, and Jihoon has never heard him sound so unsure and nervous ever since  _ that day. _

 

He gathers his things quickly, because if he even stays for another minute he’s sure he will be convinced to stay. And for the both of them to grow - they have to be apart.

 

“I’m sorry, hyung. I can’t keep pretending. I don’t want to love you the wrong way anymore.”

 

Jihoon barges out of the booth, slaps a large bill at the counter that’s enough to cover their dinner only to find Daniel and Sungwoon gawking at him. He can already see Minhyun getting out of their seat to chase after him, so he can only afford a forced smile to tell Daniel  _ I’m okay _ before rushing out.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

“Thank you for dinner, hyung. And for walking me back too.”

 

Daniel hates admitting that the other man is right, but a good dinner always makes him feel like he’s brought back from the dead. Sungwoon even jokes that he has to make sure Daniel gets home properly and doesn’t run off again.

 

“You keep taking my money but think about another man,” Sungwoon jokes, but Daniel freezes.

 

“Uh… Jihoon?” Sungwoon shoots Daniel a quizzical look when he doesn’t get an answer from Daniel.

 

_ Ah _ . So he’d noticed, too.

 

“I’m sorry, hyung.”

 

Sungwoon frowns, “What are you saying sorry for?”

 

He can’t deny that seeing Jihoon look so flustered earlier in the restaurant has been weighing on his mind the entire dinner. Although he’s resolved to wash his hands off any of Jihoon’s business until further notice, his brain has a mind of his own. Jihoon very obviously did not look okay - so something must have happened with Minhyun.

 

“Stuff,” Daniel shrugs ambiguously.

 

“Dummy, you don’t have to be sorry for being in love with someone.”

 

Daniel protests instinctively, “I’m  _ not- _ ”

 

Sungwoon holds up his palm to command silence from Daniel, “Save it. He’s not here, he can’t hear you. Why won’t you just admit it, Niel?”

 

Because it’s akin to admitting that Daniel will never have him.

 

“It’s false hope,” Daniel settles for that answer because it seems right.

 

“Who made you God?” Sungwoon challenges. “Why are you even deciding the end to your story when it hasn’t even begun?”

 

“It’s too risky,” Daniel sighs. “There’s too much on the line. Our friendship. Let’s say we get together - what if he finds out that I’m not what he thought I was? What if we break up? I’d rather never have him than lose him.  _ He’s…  _ he’s that precious to me.”

 

Admitting it out loud takes a huge weight off his chest, one he’s never known was there in the first place.

 

“If there’s one thing that is more frustrating than this conversation, is how terrible it is to forever be stuck in  _ that  _ grey area - where two people are continuously wondering  _ what if _ . What if they took that chance, what if they confessed their feelings. And because you’re my good friend, I never, ever, want you to have any what ifs. Not for this.”

 

_ What if. _

 

Daniel doesn’t like the sound of that either.

 

He thinks he might be ready to take that leap of faith. At least there will be no more what ifs after that.

 

“Thanks, Sungwoonie hyung. I think I’ll talk to him.”

 

Sungwoon grins, giving Daniel’s side a playful poke, “That’s my Danny!”

 

Daniel falls serious again when he looks back at the dorms behind him. Suddenly, the building seems very much more intimidating.

 

“Hey,” Sungwoon’s whisper is almost inaudible when he advances towards Daniel. “Give me one last goodbye kiss? I’m going to need something to remember the only man I’ve never managed to get to fall for me by.”

 

Daniel panics for a moment, wondering if he should kiss Sungwoon  _ because-  _ because in some other universe, they would have worked out. He closes his eyes, but all he can see is someone else.

 

“I’m really sorry, hyung.”

 

For a moment, when Sungwoon steps back, expressionless, Daniel’s afraid he’s hurt his feelings. Sungwoon smiles, and ruffles Daniel’s hair.

 

“Smart boy. Now go get him.”

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

It’s been a while, but Minhyun drinks.

 

He’s never had a great alcohol tolerance but it is the only way he can ease the discomfort in his heart. Is it sadness? He’s not even sure himself. He stumbles out of the bar, vision blurry but mind somehow clear enough to stagger into a nearby convenience store in an attempt to get himself some water to sober up, just enough to get himself back to the dorms.

 

Thankfully, there are not many college students at this time of the night and this far away from the school.

 

Minhyun miscalculates his step in front of the water section, and lunges forward as he loses his balance, only to be caught by someone else.

 

“Jihoonie?” he mumbles in the haze.

 

“Um, no. Just Seongwoo.”

 

Minhyun struggles to open his eyes to see a very confused looking face looking down at him.

 

“Are you okay? Are you sick or something?”

 

His whiny voice is very annoying, and Minhyun pushes him away, trying to stand up by himself but fails again and stops short of smashing his face into the ground.

 

“ _ Jihoonie _ ,” Minhyun repeats.

 

“I don’t know where Jihoon is. Do you have his number? I’ll call him,” Seongwoo offers.

 

Minhyun shakes his head childishly.

 

“No call Jihoon.  _ He-  _ he hates me.”

 

“He does not,” Seongwoo snaps but shuts his mouth when Minhyun glares at him.

 

_ What does this seal faced looking man know about him and Jihoon anyway. _

 

“Can you stand? I’ll buy you some water and we can grab a cab back up to the dorms if you’re feeling too dizzy to walk.”

 

Somehow, Minhyun gets his shit together and manages to get a seat outside the convenience store as the other tall man pays for his bottle of water. He’s already forgotten his name -  _ Seong something. _

 

“Here,”  _ Seong something  _ sets his bottle of water in front of Minhyun.

 

He takes a few sips, but still doesn’t feel very much better. And it doesn’t help that  _ Seong something _ is looking at Minhyun so pitifully. He should be looking at Minhyun like he’s a hero, he’s the smartest boy in school, he has uncountable gold medals-

 

But there’s only pity dripping from the other boy’s eyes.

 

Why does he even have such sparkly eyes?

 

“Do you want to go back to the dorms now?”  _ Seong something _ suggests.

 

He thinks he feels himself shaking his head.

 

“Jihoonie… at the dorms. Don’t wanna see.  _ Hurts _ .”

 

“Oh. Okay,” he nods, unsure of what to do next.

 

The next thing Minhyun realises is that his head is suddenly very heavy and he needs someplace to rest it.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

Seongwoo only wanted to get some snacks to get him through the night. Midterms are coming and he too, feels the stress of wanting to do well. Even though it’s never going to come out anything better than average, he still feels better if he tries.

 

He just never expects to bump into  _ him _ .

 

Winning a lottery ticket happens more often than  _ this _ .

 

What’s worse - Seongwoo can’t leave. When he sees Hwang Minhyun dozing off on the table outside the convenience store so peacefully, he knows he cannot walk away. Something bad could happen. He doesn’t have the heart to wake the other boy either.

 

_ He looks so broken. _

 

Seongwoo doesn’t know why that thought strikes him first, but he makes up his mind to be there, at the very least. He rips open his snack packet that he’d initially planned on opening at home, but it looks like they’re going to be here for a while.

 

When passersby stare, Seongwoo wonders if anyone is going to recognise Minhyun.

 

And that wouldn’t be good for Minhyun, at all. Not when he looks like a mess.

 

So he just takes off his jacket and drapes it over Minhyun’s head, careful to leave him enough breathing space but just enough to keep his face hidden from the world.

 

_ Sleep tight, _ he thinks.

 

_ I hope that at least your dreams are peaceful. _

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

Jihoon hadn’t expected to bump into Daniel again like this. It’s almost three in the morning, and he was out in the hallways because _ surprise surprise _ , he’s hungry. He laughs bitterly at the irony of Minhyun warning him about this when he shuffles to the nearest vending machine for some snacks.

 

He bends down to retrieve his food when something red drips onto the floor.

 

Bringing his hands up to his face in shock, Jihoon sprints to the nearest toilet and starts to unroll toilet paper to somehow stop the bleeding.

 

That’s when Daniel comes in, eyes bloodshot from exhaustion and unfocused from the lack of sleep, until he sees Jihoon crouched in the corner trying to stop the sudden nosebleed.

 

“Oh my god, Jihoon,” Daniel’s husky, sleepy, voice resounds around the silent toilet.

 

“ _ Just- _ ” Jihoon can barely talk because the blood just won’t stop gushing out.

 

“Okay,” Daniel sounds like he’s panicking but he somehow pulls himself together and rests his hand on Jihoon’s nape to support his head. “Lean forward.”

 

He follows Daniel’s instructions, and after a minute or two, the bleeding finally stops.

 

It still looks like someone was murdered in the sink.

 

“You okay?” Daniel rests his hand on Jihoon’s forehead, as if to assess whether he has a fever. It makes Jihoon gulp nervously and his heart beat a little faster. “You scared me.”

 

“Nosebleeds are harmless,” Jihoon shrugs.

 

He gets them often, too. Mostly around midterms and finals periods. He’s used to it.

 

“Not like this,” Daniel argues, turning on the sink to wash the blood down. He tilts down to look at Jihoon. “You look like a mess. Have you slept?”

 

“You haven’t either,” Jihoon refutes.

 

“ _ I’m allowed to _ ,” Daniel says.

 

“Says  _ who _ ,” Jihoon mumbles.

 

“Says  _ me _ , the failing student trying to save his grades,” Daniel crosses his arms.

 

“Ok, same goes for me then.”

 

“Why are you being difficult?” Daniel suddenly snaps, frustrated.

 

“Why are you yelling at me!” Jihoon shouts back, just as mad at the whole situation as Daniel is.

 

When Daniel runs his fingers through his hair as a sign of exasperation, Jihoon bites down on his lower lip from saying anything else that could hurt the other boy.

 

“Sorry,” he finally apologizes in a meek voice. “I’m just getting sensitive. You meant well.”

 

“That I did,” Daniel sighs. “Come on, let’s go.”

 

“I’m not going to sleep,” Jihoon replies crossly.

 

Daniel grins, “Neither am I, but I want to show you something. So come with me, please?”

 

And how can Jihoon say no? He’s positive that he’s waited too long for this moment. Deep in the back of his mind, Jihoon knows his mind is already made up. Wherever Daniel asks him to go - he knows he will follow.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

“Ow,” Jihoon feigns annoyance as Daniel props his body over the locked gate leading towards the rooftop of their dorms. It worries Jihoon that someone might see - but pushes the thoughts of getting caught to the back of his head as he watches Daniel swiftly climb the grills and join Jihoon on the other side.

 

He doesn’t know why Daniel has brought him here, but thinks he doesn’t mind it at all, not even one bit.

 

“So… is this where you bring your victims to before you kill them?” Jihoon comments.

 

Daniel giggles, “With what - my undeniable charms?”

 

_ No _ , Jihoon thinks.  _ With that god damn pretty smile of yours. _

 

He’s dressed in nothing but a thin grey shirt and black sweatpants but Jihoon thinks he’s never seen anyone as breathtaking as Kang Daniel.

 

“I wanted to see the stars, but thanks to air pollution, I don’t think we’ll be doing that tonight,” Daniel huffs as he lies down beside where Jihoon is sitting on a wooden pallet. Jihoon can’t help but grin when he looks up and finds that Daniel is right. If he squints hard, he may see one star. Or maybe it’s just his imagination.

 

“You’re impossible,” Jihoon sighs. “Bringing me up here only to show me  _ nothing _ .”

 

“It’s not nothing,” Daniel protests. “Lie down, I’ll show you something.”

 

He’s hesitant to follow Daniel’s commands, but tells himself fuck it, he’s already here anyway. He has to made bad decisions every now and then to learn from his mistakes - not that coming up here with Daniel was one.

 

Daniel’s face is just a few centimetres away from Jihoon’s when he finally lies down, albeit a little uncomfortable because of the wood, but his stress is instantly relieved when he catches Daniel’s gaze on him.

 

Jihoon’s face feels hot, “Don’t stare.”

 

His warning goes unheeded by Daniel, who just chuckles.

 

“You’re asking the absolute impossible of me, Mister.”

 

He’s missed Daniel so much. So much that it actually pains Jihoon to think of all the times they’ve missed each other; until he can’t bear it anymore. He realises that distance or time is never going to change his feelings for the human puppy in front of him so he cups Daniel’s face in his hands that have never looked so tiny until today.

 

“I really want to kiss you,” Jihoon confesses, hoping the hidden stars in the night sky will be able to convey his heart to Daniel; including all the words he’s never been able to say.

 

Daniel’s eyes shift hesitantly before replying, “Jihoon, we can’t keep kissing and then pretending like nothing happened after that.”

 

“I know,” Jihoon stresses. “That’s why from now on, these kisses are going to mean something to me. That means you… can only get kisses from me. And I can only get the same from you… unfortunately or not.”

 

The grin that spreads across Daniel’s lips is enough for Jihoon to be assured that he’s finally home.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

Daniel almost wants to ask Jihoon to punch him to assure him that this isn’t just a dream. But he holds back because he knows Park Jihoon will very likely take him up on that offer without any hesitation.

 

He can only grin like a fool at the boy who holds the stars in his eyes.  _ His boy, _ now.

 

“I’m not going to be good at this,” Jihoon finally says. “But I think I want to try.”

 

“That’s fine by me,” Daniel assures, threading his fingers through the other boy’s soft hair. He’s always wanted to do that; and now, he finally has the permission to do anything in the world, and he feels kind of invincible right now.

 

“And there are still a lot of things I have to figure out,” Jihoon speaks up. “Well… I figured out a big part of my life today but we’re going to have to take some baby steps. Especially because I don’t want to hurt you.”

 

Even without elaboration, Daniel may have an inkling as to what Jihoon is talking about.

 

He hums, “Do you want to tell me about it?”

 

It’s no secret to anyone that Minhyun and Jihoon have history. Daniel’s been made painfully aware of that many times over by many different people. He’s never asked Jihoon because he wanted to give the other boy some space - especially concerning something so private to him.

 

Jihoon just cuddles closer to Daniel.

 

“Maybe another time.”

 

“It’s alright,” Daniel squeezes Jihoon’s shoulder. ‘You take all the time you want with… that. But I just don’t want you to push me away, can you do that for me, at least?”

 

Jihoon nods. And while Daniel believes that knowing about Jihoon’s past will help them infinite times in pushing this relationship forward, the wound might still be fresh and Daniel doesn’t want to force Jihoon into things he doesn’t want to do.

 

And even if Daniel swears he’ll understand, very deep down, he knows that there might be a slight chance he may not. So he’ll save that talk for later; when they’re both ready to talk and hear it.

 

“We should probably head back. You can come to my room if you want to,” Jihoon says shyly, trying to hide in the shadows when he makes that suggestion to Daniel.

 

And Daniel being Daniel, doesn’t even give Jihoon a chance to let that slip.

 

“Silly, I’m not ready for that point of our relationship yet.”

 

What ensues is Jihoon giving Daniel a particularly hard pinch on his arm, followed by colourful curse words that Daniel will be the only receiver of.

 

“I meant to study, idiot!”

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

The knock comes to Daniel’s door three mornings later, after they’ve finished their midterms. It’s a lazy Saturday afternoon where Daniel has absolutely no plans except to laze around in bed until it’s time to eat. Training resumes tomorrow and he just wants to make the most of his free time.

 

Jaehwan answers the door on behalf of them, being the one closer to the door.

 

“Um, Niel.”

 

“Who is it?” Daniel calls out, head buried into the latest edition of his favourite comic book.

 

“It’s Jihoon.”

 

Daniel’s head turns so fast he’s glad his neck doesn’t snap but Jaehwan isn’t a liar and there Jihoon is - standing outside his door in a ridiculously bright yellow shirt which he attempts to match with baggy jeans.

 

But to hell with that; because he looks _ fucking adorable. _

 

“Heyyy,” Daniel jumps off his bed, careful not to look too excited in front of Jaehwan because he hasn’t told anyone about him and Jihoon yet - but probably fails terribly as he bounds to greet Jihoon.

 

“I should have texted,” Jihoon chews on his lower lip awkwardly as he tries to carry a conversation with Jaehwan still gawking at them. “But I thought I’d come over and ask you if you wanted to see a movie today. You know… we still have that film project we need to finish.”

 

A movie, huh.

 

Daniel really likes the sound of that. To hell with lazing around in bed.

 

“Sure, come in. You can keep Byul and Jaehwan company while I change,” Daniel says, inviting him in despite Jaehwan’s obvious discomfort. The two have always had some type of weird tension and Daniel thinks it’s finally time for them to resolve it, and he can’t think of a better time than now.

 

“Where’s Seongwoo when I need him,” Jaehwan mumbles under his breath but picks up his guitar and climbs up to the top bunk of his bed instead.

 

“I’ll be out soon,” Daniel sneaks a very quick peck on Jihoon’s cheek while Jaehwan isn’t looking.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

Jihoon clears his throat as he take a tentative step towards Daniel’s bed.

 

“You can just sit,” comes the voice from above. Kim Jaehwan strums softly on his guitar, making magical tunes with just his fingers while he eyes Jihoon from his bunk. “Daniel wouldn’t mind.”

 

Luckily, Byul emerges from under Daniel’s blanket and starts licking Jihoon all over - as if to convey his happiness from seeing Jihoon after such a long time. (Well, that is not so much Jihoon’s fault as it is Daniel’s. He will choose to refer to the rough point of their relationship as the dark times and it will stay as such.)

 

“You’re friends with Woojin, right?” Jihoon asks, trying to start some conversation and not just play with the dog because that would be rude. And this is Daniel’s best friend; so he should at least try to make an effort.

 

“Woojinie,” Jaehwan echoes. “Yeah, we play soccer sometimes. He’s really nice, and smart, and rich.”

 

Woojin is just as elite as any of the students in this school could get, heir to his parent’s electronics company and has a big heart as well. It’s just a pity that in this school, richess are valued over morals. That’s why no one ever really talks to Woojin anymore.

 

“Yeah he has five houses and sometimes when he wants to run away from home-”

 

“He just goes next door,” Jaehwan completes his sentence.

 

They laugh and Jihoon feels a little better.

 

“I’m sorry people were being assholes to you two. It wasn’t fair, at all,” Jihoon sighs, reflecting on all the times he’s ever even looked down on someone just because he thought they were beneath him. And Daniel, oh Daniel, how terrible Jihoon had treated him at first only to have fate play with them and bring them together.

 

Jihoon doesn’t deserve such happiness.

 

“It’s okay,” Jaehwan says, his legs swinging from the top bunk down. “We’re used to it. It’s going to be fine. Things’ll change; one person at a time, I guess.”

 

“Yeah,” Jihoon agrees. “I really hope it will.”

 

“Hey. I’m supposed to compose a song for one of my classes. Do you want to hear the first draft?”

 

He beams even if Jaehwan can’t see him.

 

“I’d love to.”

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

_ I don’t want to love you the wrong way anymore. _

 

_ I don’t want to love you the wrong way anymore. _

 

_ I don’t want to love you anymore. _

 

“Fuck,” is the first thing Minhyun says when he opens his eyes, one; because of the headache and two; because of the realisation that whatever happened with Jihoon was real. It’s been days - but he’s still having the same damn nightmares.

 

He couldn’t concentrate at all in his midterms, and had blanked out the previous day.

 

Minhyun’s sure his grades are going to fall but he can really only think of one thing: Jihoon and how he’s not here anymore. His words are still ringing in Minhyun’s mind ever since he’s left, and there’s an empty hole in his heart he’s sure is never going to be filled again.

 

Maybe Jihoon was right to leave him.

 

He’d broken his trust not once, but twice.

 

Minhyun’s just glad Jihoon has never had to deal with him a second time because Minhyun can never unsee the look of disappointment and disgust on Jihoon’s face when he was in the hospital. And it terrified Minhyun to see Jihoon thinking of him as anything less than the perfect boyfriend.

 

So he pushed Jihoon away, until he was ready to face Jihoon again with a better version of him.

 

But it’s all useless now.

 

Jihoon walked out of his life twice.

 

Even if Minhyun had truly loved him, despite Jihoon telling Minhyun he didn’t. He never loved Jihoon for who he really was; Minhyun calls bullshit on that because he’s never yearned for anyone as much as he has for Park Jihoon.

 

There are two knocks on his door that interrupt his self decipreation and Minhyun wills it to go away, yet the knocks are persistent and annoying so he drags himself to the door.

 

“Who are you?” he growls.

 

The figure is visibly shaking in front of Minhyun as he clutches a tiny metal flask in his hand.

 

“Ong Seongwoo. I… took you home three days ago. I just wanted to make sure you were okay since you passed out that night and I haven’t seen you around since.”

 

From the greatest depths of his mind, Minhyun retrieves the faint memory of someone pushing his body into a trolley, then apologizing for it, then pushing him back to his room while apologizing the entire way if they ever went over a rock or a speed bump.

 

“Oh.  _ You _ .”

 

Truthfully, Minhyun is not in the mood to talk to anyone right now.

 

Ong Seongwoo smiles at him, “I brought you soup. My mother likes to make this when my father has hangovers.”

 

“That was three days ago,” Minhyun resists the urge to roll his eyes for the sake of his nice boy image.

 

“I know,” Ong Seongwoo shrugs. “But you  _ still  _ look like you need it… so.”

 

He holds the metal pot out to Minhyun, and Minhyun doesn’t want to leave him hanging, so he accepts it with both hands.

 

“Thanks, I guess. For that day, and today, too.”

 

“It’s chicken soup,” Seongwoo offers information that Minhyun didn’t ask for. “It might taste bad because it’s my first time cooking it but my mother’s recipe should taste just fine, I hope.”

 

“What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger,” Minhyun shrugs. “Thank you again.”

 

Seongwoo shifts his weight from one foot to another while standing awkwardly at Minhyun’s front door, unsure of what he should do next. 

 

“I guess I’ll get going,” Seongwoo finally pipes up. “Bye.”

 

Minhyun closes the door behind him, placing the soup on his table before sighing. He contemplates diving into bed again but knows it’ll only make the headache worst. Better yet, he can feel the heartache starting to come up again. Staying here only reminds him of one person - and for his body’s own good, Minhyun decides to get some fresh air.

 

He has no idea what goes through his mind when he sprints to open his door again, and when he sees Ong Seongwoo just about to turn around the hallway and disappear, Minhyun yells out,

 

“Hey, do you want to go and get lunch together?”

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

“I’m so full,” Jihoon complains, rubbing his belly as proof of how much he’d eaten yet Daniel is insisting they walk a few blocks down to the cinema where they’re supposed to catch a movie instead of taking a bus.

 

“I would be too, if I had eaten two portions,” Daniel teases.

 

“At least I paid for half the lunch,” Jihoon huffs, unsatisfied that Daniel had rejected his offer of paying for lunch. They’d ended up splitting the bill.

 

Daniel just gazes satisfactorily at Jihoon, as if he’s won something worth being happy about.

 

“What,” Jihoon mumbles, feeling his cheeks redden under Daniel’s intense stare.

 

That’s  _ something  _ he’s never going to get used to.

 

“Nothing,” Daniel chimes happily. “I’m just happy.”

 

“Weirdo,” Jihoon utters under his breath.

 

“ _ You’re _ the weirdo,” Daniel argues back, never missing a beat when it comes to Jihoon’s insults.

 

They continue to bump shoulders as they stroll down the fairly busy street, and he can only stare at the ground, embarrassed, when Daniel swing a protective arm around his shoulders to keep him from getting lost in the crowd.

 

Jihoon wouldn’t have it any other way, really.

 

He catches a familiar face at the window of one of the quieter cafes down the road, and freezes when he sees Hwang Minhyun smiling from ear to ear at the corner seats, the sunlight lightly bouncing off his face, illuminating his good looks for everyone to see. 

 

It’s been  _ so long _ , ever since Jihoon has seen Minhyun laughing.

 

He doesn’t mean to pry, but Jihoon would give good money to see who’s behind Minhyun’s smile, only the other person is blocked by the cafe’s setups. Jihoon decides to leave it as a mystery.

 

“Everything okay?” Daniel touches his waist gently to let Jihoon know that he’s still there.

 

Jihoon’s glad Minhyun is  _ okay _ .

 

Above all other things, at least knowing  _ this  _ gives Jihoon peace.

 

Jihoon quickly turns back to face Daniel before he can see who Jihoon was staring at.

 

“Everything’s perfect,” Jihoon assures Daniel.

 

Jihoon prays Minhyun gives it his all this time - and finds someone who he can love for all the seasons he goes through. Someone  _ he  _ can love wholeheartedly, as someone who can love Hwang Minhyun like he really deserves to be loved; in all the right ways possible.

 

Because Minhyun deserves to find his home in someone just as Jihoon already has.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i guess i might have a premonition about all the upsetting things that have been happening lately, and hopefully this fluffier and happier chapter would help us all through this time~
> 
> i can predict just a few more chapters for overboard before it's ending... but for now yay nielwink are finally not playing their games anymore!!
> 
> if you liked this chapter do leave comments below because i love reading them a lot hehe
> 
> take care until the next update <3


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daniel and Jihoon realise that their relationship hides many layers of their deeply rooted insecurities - and this time, neither of them think that pretending is going to work.
> 
> +Seongwu discovers that his fleeting feelings for a certain someone aren't going to go away anytime soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i wrote this, over and over again. it's been nearly four months since an update and nothing ever felt quite right when i was writing this next chapter.
> 
> even now, i don't have even an ounce of confidence in this new chapter but i really don't want to give up. so i think the only thing i can do is push myself through this "slump" or whatever you call it, and hope this helps me to start writing more regularly again.
> 
> so i apologise for the possibly messy chapter in advance, but i will try and get better. it will get better, because i have a lot more things planned.
> 
> sorry to start off with such a moody beginning note, but i just wanted to give some sort of explanation for the long break.
> 
> if you are here, thank you for waiting!! i hope you enjoy the next chapter~ <3

“Two tickets to “A Quiet Place”, please.”

 

Daniel shifts uncomfortably, half because of how his jeans have gotten significantly tighter since they stuffed themselves at lunch, and another half at how Jihoon has a knowing, evil smile on his face when he receives the tickets from over the counter. He just pouts at his half eaten popcorn.

 

If it wasn’t for this stupid project, Daniel would never be seen sighted getting tickets to a horror movie. It just doesn’t make sense, why would people pay to get scared the shit out of? Unfortunately, Daniel is a prime guinea pig that is going to help them investigate this issue.

 

“Would you snap out of it already?” Jihoon says, pulling on Daniel’s shirt to drag him away from where his feet are still frozen at the counter. “It’s probably not even going to be that scary.”

 

“Says who?” Daniel argues back, indignant that his fears are belittled by someone younger than him. Then again, Park Jihoon is as cold as the tundra, nothing seems to ever scare the hell out of him.

 

They take their seats, which are the pretty good ones where you are able to get a full view of the screen without craning your neck at an awkward angle (yay). But they’re also here to watch a horror movie, so  _no yay_ for that.

 

Jihoon, who still seems unaffected by the fact that they are about to get multiple heart attacks, is still chewing on his popcorn.

 

Then, Daniel remembers something that might just keep his mind off the movie this time.

 

“Remember that bet we made? Months before this?” Daniel whispers to Jihoon as the commercials start to play. There aren’t many people in this cinema, so at least Daniel won’t be embarrassing himself in front of a crowd.

 

Jihoon turns to him, grinning, “The one where you try to scare me in the middle of a horror movie and if I don’t flinch I get a free pass on your credit card?”

 

Well, yes. That.

 

“You seem confident that you’re going to win,” Daniel huffs, but he’s already started secretly hatching a plan in this big brain of his - the same one that unfortunately still cannot keep up in math class.

 

Daniel actually admires Jihoon’s confidence a lot. But when the boy borders on being cocky, he finds himself actually getting fired up and wanting to be a lot more competitive.

 

“Well, I’m no scaredy cat,” Jihoon blinks innocently. “It’s going to take a lot more than somebody in a costume to get my panties in a twist.”

 

Daniel can’t resist the temptation to say, “I know exactly what  _I_ could do to get  _your_ panties in a twist.” He’s made to regret it immediately after when Jihoon slaps him hard on his back, earning dirty look from the couple a few rows in front of them.

 

Jihoon sinks back into his seat in embarrassment, and Daniel might catch the slight hint of blush on his cheeks, but Jihoon immediately turns away.

 

“I should’ve known that was all you wanted when you said you liked me,” Jihoon sighs under his breath sarcastically, then adding, “I’ve seen many boys like you.”

 

“How many of them have you been with, though?” Daniel challenges back mischievously, then immediately feels his heart sinking when he remembers there was only one that had come before him - which leads him to question _if Jihoon and Minhyun had actually-_

 

“Movie’s starting,” Jihoon says, and it seems he didn’t actually hear what Daniel had said before. “You can hold my hand if you get scared. But not too much.”

 

That’s supposed to make Daniel’s heart flutter - not that it doesn’t. But the slightest of thoughts has led him into a downward spiral and he cannot see anything else in his brain other than Jihoon and Minhyun.

 

It’s not supposed to bother him because it’s an inevitable thing when it comes to Jihoon.

 

He takes two deep breaths, which Jihoon notices and giggles; thinking it's because of the movie. But Daniel tries to force a smile and for the first time, actually try to fully concentrate on a horror show.

 

It’s much, much, better than thinking about Jihoon’s past anyway.

  
  
  
  
〰️

 

 

Truthfully, Jihoon thinks Kang Daniel’s fear of horror movies is actually really adorable. The man, who stands at 180cm tall and has pacific ocean shoulders is actually cowering into Jihoon’s arms at this mediocre horror show.

 

Yes, Jihoon is bored. The silent movie has yet to make him even bat an eye, and the only time he’s actually moved something is to grab a handful of popcorn, which Daniel has apparently already abandoned.

 

“Is anything happening?” Daniel whispers, trying to fish out the movie highlights from Jihoon instead of watching it himself.

 

He looks at Daniel, who is covering his eyes with his large hands.

 

“That’s cheating,” Jihoon teases.

 

“So I’m a cheater,” Daniel replies in a second. “But I’m not a dumbass who’s going to stare that beast in its eyes. Quick, tell me if something scary is about to happen soon. Then I won’t open my eyes. _Wait_ , but if I cover my eyes I won’t be able to cover my ears and the sound is as scary as the visual.”

 

He talks a lot when he’s afraid, Jihoon notes. But even that is making Jihoon feel some sort of way about Daniel.

 

_But of course - you’re supposed to be dating him._

 

Is he?

 

They never really put it into words after the confession, but they  _are_ on a date so they  _are_ dating… right? Daniel squirms in his seat as something boring - or horrifying to Daniel - happens on screen and he scooches even nearer to Jihoon.

 

His breath hitches unconsciously, but thank god  _that_ goes unnoticed by Daniel. He would never hear the end of that one.

 

“Are you seriously going to lose our bet like this?” Jihoon asks.

 

He doesn’t like to win without a fight. After all, it does seem kind of unfair.

 

Daniel looks up at Jihoon, suddenly enlightened.

 

“Hold on, you didn’t say you had to be scared from the movie. I mean, you could be scared by something else? As long as you make a noise, I win, right?”

 

Jihoon shrugs, “I mean, I guess?”

 

“So I can do this?”

 

Never in Jihoon’s life would he have expected the wind to get knocked out of him when Daniel suddenly grabs Jihoon’s face and plants a deep kiss onto his lips. It surprises Jihoon, and when he opens his mouth to say something about it - Daniel just goes with the flow.

 

And fuck, he’s a great kisser.

 

They’ve kissed before, but this time, it’s different. It’s  _cheesy_ but it is different. This time, Jihoon can kiss him back without feeling any burden in his chest from before.

 

A muffled squeal escapes when Daniel’s fingers slip under his shirt for just a millisecond, but pull back immediately almost as if Daniel was afraid to go any further. But the worst thing is, Jihoon doesn’t have the pride to tell Daniel to continue with whatever he was going to do.

 

“You’re a cheater,” Jihoon says, his words laced with spite at Daniel’s obvious dirty play but finds himself going back to kiss Daniel, again and again.

 

The movie is long lost memory that none of them were really enjoying anyway.

 

“You lost,” Daniel still manages to flaunt his victory with a crooked smile.

 

Jihoon wonders how he could have ever won.

 

He nods, pressing their foreheads together again just so he can feel Daniel’s breath on him - that to him is more intimate than anything else. He just needs to know that Daniel is here, and that he’ll be here to stay.

 

“You’re right,” Jihoon smiles. “I lost -  _to you_.”

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

“Um. Please eat.”

 

This is probably by far the most awkward lunch Minhyun has had to sit through, and trust him, he has been in many business dinners on his family’s side. But somehow, it is much worse when you have a schoolmate sitting opposite you who can’t even pick up his fork.

 

“Thank you for paying - I can pay you back, really,” Seongwu insists, but Minhyun just dismisses him with a wave of his hand.

 

“I owe you, more than one,” Minhyun says very slowly for the third time. This Ong Seongwu is a pretty stubborn boy. “It’s very rude not to accept gifts from others, you know.”

 

Seongwu’s eyes grow wide.

 

“A gift?”

 

“If you consider a lunch with me a gift,” Minhyun shrugs. “Not that many people do. I just feel bad for making you bring me home that night. I must have been quite heavy, right?”

 

The other boy wears a sheepish smile, but Minhyun doesn’t find it annoying at all.

 

“Well… I tried my best,” Seongwu says, and Minhyun relaxes once he finally digs into his ribeye steak that Minhyun has treated them at a nearby cafe. He hasn’t been to this part of town before - but there was just something that struck him today to go somewhere different.

 

Different can be good too, sometimes.

 

“I didn’t say anything weird, right? I don’t remember much after I drink, so,” Minhyun jokes, trying to make small talk. It’s weird, he’s been trained to do this his entire life - he’s supposed to be an expert at making conversation by now but he weirdly feels very unlike himself in front of Seongwu.

 

Seongwu pauses mid slice.

 

Something dawns on Minhyun.

 

“I said something, didn’t I?”

 

Minhyun just prays hard it isn’t about -

 

“ _Park Jihoon_ ,” Seongwu drops the bomb. “You mentioned his name in your drunken state many times over. I didn’t probe because you looked pretty wasted. Don’t worry, I don’t know anything.”

 

It’s weird how Seongwu can immediately read Minhyun’s mind even though they’re practically strangers. Or maybe word has just gotten around in school that Minhyun doesn’t like to talk about Jihoon with other people other than his closest friends.

 

Suddenly, the thought of that makes it hard to swallow his food.

 

Even though those things - things like refusing to talk about Jihoon to his family and friends - seemed small to Minhyun, it must have hurt Jihoon like crazy. To Minhyun, he just wanted to protect Jihoon.

 

But to Jihoon, it probably just seemed like Minhyun just didn’t want to admit that they were going out.

 

“I messed up that night,” Minhyun says very softly. Seongwu looks confused and surprised at Minhyun’s confession. “And many nights before that night. I just messed up, big time.”

 

Seongwu just wordlessly shifts his glass of water towards Minhyun.

 

“I want to make things right, I really do.  _Fuck_ if I could just redo everything, I would.”

 

From the first time he had approached Jihoon to how he had convinced Jihoon to go out with him on their first date, and how he had introduced Jihoon to his family. Every single thing about their relationship, Minhyun would change, knowing it would affect how they ended up in the future.

 

It’s silent for a while, until Seongwu clears his throat.

 

“That’s the thing about life. We don’t get second chances. We don’t get to “redo” things. Because then it wouldn’t be fair at all, right? If I knew I was going to suffer in Monumental College then I never would have submitted my scholarship application. But now I’m here, and I can’t do anything except make the most out of it. It sucks, but I guess I’m just focusing on the things that make me happy in that god forsaken school.”

 

Minhyun perks up, and leans in as his curiosity is piqued by the previously shy Ong Seongwu’s positivity, “Yeah? Things like what?”

 

He doesn’t expect Seongwu to choke on his food till the waiters are shooting concerned looks at their table and one of them even comes over to ask if Seongwu is okay, which Seongwu repeatedly assures that he is.

 

Minhyun thinks it’s one of the funniest things he’s seen in his entire life, even if Seongwu’s life might have been in danger for just a tiny second there.

 

“You’re laughing,” Seongwu marvels. “Haven’t seen that in a long time.”

 

“Huh?” Minhyun doesn’t even realise until Seongwu points it out. “Yeah. I guess I am laughing. It feels nice.”

 

“ _Things like this_ ,” Seongwu suddenly says, then digs back into his food.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

Seongwu trudges back to his dorm feeling like a traitor. Minhyun had to leave after their lunch for swim training and Seongwu didn’t exactly feel like exploring the town on his own, so he just packed his things and came back home.

 

His heart is still racing - and he had to pinch himself multiple times during lunch just to make sure he wasn’t dreaming.

 

Ong Seongwu was eating lunch with Hwang Minhyun.

 

Never in his life would he have expected those words to be strung together in the same sentence. He’s always been watching over Minhyun from afar, as a mere fan who admires his talent, and maybe developed a tiny crush on him on the way.

 

_But doesn’t half the school crush on Hwang Minhyun already?_ He’s nothing special.

 

“Hi, hyung,” Daniel greets him when he’s back. Oh god, Jihoon’s here with Daniel too. That just makes Seongwu feel a hundred times worse about his lunch with Minhyun. Jihoon even waves at Seongwu.

 

“Hey,” Seongwu forces a smile to the two, who look quite comfortable on the bed together.

 

He had heard from Jaehwan that Jihoon stopped by to bring Daniel on a date earlier this morning - does this mean Jihoon and Minhyun aren’t together anymore?

 

Then again, their relationship has always been messy. It’s on and off, as Seongwu understands from the rumours in this school. But the only thing constant is the end; and that is when Jihoon returns to Minhyun.

 

“Everything okay? Where did you go?” Daniel asks. “You look like you just ran a marathon.”

 

Seongwu’s sweating. He’s terrible at telling lies.

 

“Uh, you could say that,” Seongwu tries his best to brush Daniel off. After all, his heart was running a marathon by just seeing Minhyun up close in front of him. It isn’t a complete lie to tell Daniel anyway.

 

“You  _never_ exercise,” Daniel notices. “I’ve tried to get you to go to the gym with me multiple times and I’ve never succeeded once. Who’s the lucky one who got you out of bed, huh?”

 

Of all times, Daniel chooses  _this one_ to be the most perceptive.

 

“Since when were you so interested in my private life? Now, I’m going to take a bath and I don’t want you two doing anything above PG13 when I’m gone,” Seongwu tuts. “This is my room as well.”

 

He’s met by groans from both as he rushes into the shower before he can be questioned any further.

 

And then, his phone rings in his pocket, and again, and again, until Seongwu cannot ignore it or put off replying until after his shower.

 

**Unknown [3:42pm]**

_Thank you for having lunch with me_

_And of course the chicken soup_

_And for bringing me home that night_

_This is Minhyun by the way_

_It was quite hard to get your number, not many people have it_

_Are you back safe?_

 

Minhyun asked around for Seongwu’s number? He would have given it to him in a heartbeat if Minhyun had just asked- but Seongwu catches himself there. He’s not going to let this useless crush get in the way of his logic.

 

They’re obviously no more than schoolmates.

 

He quickly types a reply back.

 

**Ong Seongwu [3:46pm]**

_Thank you for buying lunch._

_I’m back safe, so enjoy your training, Minhyun._

 

He knows he’s in for a wild ride and he comes out of the shower and his heart drops because Minhyun didn’t text back after that. He’s aching to tell someone about his day - but he doesn’t think that anyone would ever understand the very complicated feelings he has for someone that will never be his.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

Daniel goes back to training, which is both harder and a lot easier with Jihoon by his side. It’s been close to two weeks but Jihoon has kept mum about Minhyun the entire way. There’s this sinking feeling that Daniel has that the more he probes Jihoon about it, the worse it’s going to be.

 

So he just does what he knows best,  _swim_.

 

“You’re doing better, a lot better than when you first came in,” his coach tells him after training one day. “How are you doing with your schoolwork?”

 

Well, that is one other thing that Daniel has to worry about.

 

“Not so good, coach,” Daniel confesses. “They’re going to fast, it’s just impossible for me to catch up.”

 

Jihoon has been trying to help him along as well, but it isn’t fair, since Jihoon has work of his own to do as well. With every test and lecture, Daniel comes out feeling a little more lost and helpless.

 

“That’s not good,” his coach says. “Your place on this swim team is determined by how well you do outside of the pool as well. You have to do something about it.”

 

“I know, I will,” Daniel mumbles and his coach pats him on the back before walking away.

 

He drags himself in and out of the shower, thanking god that all the classes for the day are over so he can just go back and mope about his inevitable end on this swim team. It’s not any help when he spots Jihoon talking to Minhyun near the bleachers, but not for long.

 

As soon as Jihoon spots Daniel’s stares on them, he quickly ends the conversation and rushes to Daniel’s side.

 

“Hey, good job today. I managed to catch your last few laps,” Jihoon greets him with a squeeze around his waist. Daniel just feels too exhausted to ask Jihoon what he and Minhyun were talking about.

 

“Those were my worst laps,” Daniel jokes, grabbing his things. “I’m going back to my dorm.”

 

“What about dinner? You haven’t had dinner,” Jihoon says, rushing to catch up with Daniel’s pace, which he quickens when he passes Minhyun on the way out of the arena.

 

“Not hungry,” Daniel shrugs. “I just want to go home.”

 

“Come to mine,” Jihoon insists. “I’ll make you something, then you can sleep if you want to.”

 

Daniel doesn’t even have the strength left to argue when Jihoon pulls him in the opposite direction of his dorm.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

Jihoon makes it a point to cheer on Daniel during his training sometimes. It’s probably the only thing that is keeping the other boy sane right now. He can tell that Daniel is struggling with his schoolwork, but there’s only so much Jihoon can do to help.

 

So even if it’s uncomfortable to bump into Minhyun, he does whatever he can to support Daniel at what makes him happiest.

 

“Here again? He’s in the shower.”

 

Jihoon looks up from his phone, “I know. I came here after my last class to catch his last few laps.” He doesn’t think Daniel spotted him today, after all, it looks like he had quite a serious chat with his coach before disappearing into the shower area.

 

Hopefully he’ll be up for dinner, because Jihoon’s thinking of treating him to a meal at that nice cafe they’ve been talking about.

 

Minhyun looks… well…  _normal_. That makes Jihoon feel a little better.

 

“So you two?” Minhyun probes, and yet again - Jihoon cannot read what Minhyun is really asking him. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul but Minhyun continues to remain expressionless.

 

“It’s really none of your business, hyung,” Jihoon says, rising to his feet.

 

Minhyun purses his lips, and sighs.

 

“I’m really sorry, Jihoonie,” he says. “I wish I could have treated you better - I really didn’t know how you were feeling back then.”

 

_You could have asked_ , Jihoon protests silently. But he stops himself. All that is in the past.

 

Jihoon sees Daniel coming out of the shower and quickly rushes to his side, not comfortable at the least to spend another second with Minhyun. Who knows what could happen.

 

Daniel looks a little down today, and even refuses dinner. That’s okay, they can save the cafe for another time.

 

“I’ll make you something,” Jihoon assures the exhausted looking boy. “Then you can sleep if you want to.”

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

“You okay? Want to talk about it?” Jihoon slides up to Daniel’s side after taking out the trash. In the end, they called for takeout. Jihoon didn’t have any ingredients in his fridge for cooking and Daniel was obviously too exhausted to go anywhere else.

 

Daniel just shakes his silently, staring into space.

 

“You’re kind of scaring me,” Jihoon teases, but even that joke lost on Daniel.

 

“If you’re tired, please just sleep here. There’s no use moping about whatever you’re being sad about, alright?” Jihoon tugs on Daniel’s shoulder to try and get him to lie down.

 

“I’m not moping,” Daniel mumbles, but relents.

 

He can feel Daniel’s entire body relax when he lies down, almost as if he’s letting go of something heavy in his heart.

 

That scares Jihoon, because that means Daniel’s made up his mind about something. He’s not dumb - he knows Daniel’s piling up worries on questions and onto even more worries in his head. Even though everything seems fine with Daniel on the outside, it’s often not.

 

Daniel hides his feelings behind a smile so easily, it’s hard for Jihoon to see the difference.

 

It only shows a second before disaster, and it doesn’t even give Jihoon enough time to prepare for the worst.

 

“Jihoonie?” Daniel sits up, looking straight into Jihoon’s eyes.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“What happened between you and Minhyun hyung back then?”

 

Jihoon knows he never would have avoided this question forever. If it didn’t come from Daniel, it would come from someone else. He’s never told anyone the full story, because it just seems like the type of thing you lock up in that dark corner of your heart and never talk about it again.

 

“I…” Jihoon can’t even bring himself to say anything. “Why are you asking?”

 

“Because I know I’ll  _always_ be second place - I just want to know why,” Daniel replies.

 

“ _Second-_ ” Jihoon can’t believe the words coming out of Daniel’s mouth. But the more he thinks about it, the more dread starts to fill him from the inside. “You’re not second place.  _You’re not_.”

 

And the worst thing is; Jihoon feels like he’s saying it more for himself to believe instead.

 

“I am,” Daniel insists, his voice stern and tone cold. “At least tell me what he did for you- and then maybe I could try and be  _that_ for you. And maybe, just maybe, you’d look at me like you look at him, and I wouldn’t have to feel like I’m always losing to him. Because I can lose a thousand competitions to Hwang Minhyun - but if I’ll always lose you to  _him_ , I don’t think I can live with that.”

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

_They say you never forget your first love._

 

_But Minhyun wasn’t Jihoon’s first love._

 

_He was his first everything._

 

_So maybe that’s why Jihoon doesn’t ever think he’ll be able to forget Minhyun, not even when he tries his very best._

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

“What the hell are you talking about?” Jihoon snaps, clearly pissed. But Daniel sees the cracks in the perfect facade Jihoon thinks he has built for himself. He sees the cracks very clearly, and he’s almost sure who put them there.

 

“You’re not going to lose me to anyone, much less-”

 

“Are you sure?” Daniel interrupts.

 

He doesn’t know how long he can continue to pretend like everything is okay, when he knows it’s not. Daniel’s already trying his best for Jihoon - as hard as his heart yearns for him - but his heart is wearing out too, and it might just be because he knows he’ll never be able to give Jihoon what Minhyun can.

 

(Or already did.)

 

“Seriously? This is why you’re acting up?” Jihoon sighs, sliding off the bed and running his fingers through his already messy hair out of frustration.

 

“If you think I shouldn’t be acting up then tell me,” Daniel shoots back, his voice fringing on yelling. He still somehow manages to hold himself back. He’s not mad at Jihoon - he’s mad at everything.

 

He’s mad at how he somehow ended up in this hot mess, and he just can’t get out of it because all his heartstrings have already been tangled up with the messy past of the two people he just cannot get away from.

 

“Just tell me what you two were,” Daniel says again, repeating each word carefully.

 

It isn’t until a few seconds later that he realises his hands are shaking.

 

“You really want to know?” Jihoon smiles, but it’s not happy. Not at all.

 

“Tell me,” Daniel’s voice drops to a desperate whisper.

 

Jihoon’s shoulders droop, like he’s given up.

 

“He broke me, okay? He’s every reason I hate myself and who I’ve become,” Jihoon snaps, trudging back closer to where Daniel is sitting.

 

“Hwang Minhyun gave me  _everything_.”

 

He can feel Jihoon’s breath on his lips.

 

“And he also took it away,” Jihoon says, his voice getting shakier by the second. “So if you want to know why he’s so goddamn important to me, it’s because he hurt me in places I never knew I could be hurt. And then he nursed me back till I was healthy again.”

 

“Everything you see about me right now is a masterpiece of Hwang Minhyun’s. He put me together, piece by piece, until I don’t even remember who I was before. All I knew was that I loved this guy - and he was trying to make me better.”

 

“And then he broke me down, again and again. I never felt any love for Hwang Minhyun.  _But you?_ You I did. You didn’t try to make me someone else. For the first time, I felt like myself and I liked it. So if you want me to feel the same way for you like I did for Minhyun - then the joke’s on you, Daniel. I never loved Minhyun, not the way I loved you.”

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

Seongwu holds his books tight against his chest as if he’s wielding a weapon.

 

Yeah, right. As if a few textbooks are going to help him fight off a kidnapper hiding in the bushes. Then again - who would want to kidnap him? At this point in the semester, Seongwu would be willing to pay someone to kidnap him,  _honestly_.

 

There’s just so much to do and so little time.

 

He tries to hum a tune from his favourite song to distract himself from any bad thoughts.

 

Out of nowhere, Seongwu hears a twig snap into two. He whips his head around and immediately regrets it.  _Idiot! Never look back when you think someone (or something) is following you._

 

He should have just texted Jaehwan, or even Daniel to see if they were in the area so that they could walk back to the dorms together.

 

Now he’s stuck with creepy, snapping twigs and there’s no one to blame but himself.

 

“ _Seongwu_.”

 

“Jesus-” Seongwu raises his book instinctively when a hand grasps his shoulder. “ _Fuck- me._ ”

 

“Excuse me?” Minhyun raises a suspicious brow at Seongwu.

 

The adrenaline pumping in his veins is definitely not helping Seongwu think on his feet - something he’s not very good at.

 

“You scared me,” he finally says.

 

Minhyun eyes the books Seongwu is still holding in mid-air.

 

“What were you going to do?  _Read to me?_ ” Minhyun scoffs.

 

“I would hit you… very hard,” Seongwu says very slowly.  _With my lips, preferably._

 

Honest to God, Seongwu has been too busy to even think about the idea of dating recently. It’s been years since he broke up with his ex-girlfriend and that was a pretty serious relationship he had a hard time getting over. He’s definitely not wild enough to go for one night stands or outgoing enough to try online dating.

 

The entire point of the huge rant in his head being: it’s been a while since he…  _got some_.

 

And Minhyun, Minhyun just looks as gorgeous as always. He obviously just came out of the shower not too long ago and his eyes are a little red - with how little of Minhyun’s face Seongwu can see under these stupid lamp posts - so he must have just come from training.

 

“Are you dissociating on me right now?”

 

Seongwu blinks, “No, I most definitely am not.”

 

“Well, it’s late. What are you doing out?” Minhyun asks, giving Seongwu a little nudge from behind so that they can keep walking (and because for some strange reason, Seongwu could not feel his legs at all).

 

“I was at the library studying. Gets noisy in the dorm sometimes, with my roommates and all.”

 

Minhyun just stays silent.

 

“Right. I forget you don’t have roommates,” Seongwu laughs emptily.

 

“You should try to get home earlier,” Minhyun ignores his comment. “Seeing how you’re so terrified of the dark.”

 

“Shut up, I am not-” Seongwu opens his mouth to present his argument that it was Minhyun who sneaked up on him but closes it again. A wave of awkwardness rushes over when reality sets in.

 

They had exchanged texts more than a month ago. Nothing else happened after, not that Seongwu was hoping. Things just went back to the way they were supposed to be. Seongwu stopped thinking about Minhyun and the way he laughed for a little while.

 

And now it’s all coming back, including the stupid crush he has on Minhyun.

 

“Seongwu?” Minhyun hangs his head down, almost in shame.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Should we be friends?”

 

Seongwu freezes, again.

 

“Let me get this right. You’re asking me - if we should be friends. Is that what you’re asking me, Minhyun?”

 

Minhyun nods, sighing, “I’ve never really had to ask. Do you ask people if they want to be friends with you? I’ve never really had to-”

 

“ _Ask_ ,” Seongwu completes his sentence for him, smiling grimly. “You never had to make friends. They all just flock to you, don’t they?”

 

They are from such different worlds. Seongwu doesn’t think there’s even a glimpse of hope for him when it comes to Minhyun. Minhyun’s world is spinning so fast, and there are always so many things going on, Seongwu doesn’t know if he can ever catch up.

 

“I’ve never really wanted to be friends with anyone. Well, till  _you_ showed up.”

 

Seongwu chuckles, shaking his head in disapproval, “What is that supposed to mean?”

 

“I had fun that day, I really did. I don’t really know how to explain this to you, or to myself, but you sure are peculiar. I just haven’t stopped thinking about how you choked on your water and embarrassed yourself in front of everyone.”

 

Seongwu’s cheeks are growing hotter by the second just recalling that day’s events.

 

“Sorry,” Minhyun’s eyelashes flutter when his eyes shut in frustration. “I’m rambling. That’s really weird. Forget I ever said anything.”

 

Chewing on his lower lip any further isn’t going to help, so Seongwu just says, “No, wait. Let’s be friends.”

 

The way Minhyun lights up like a bulb has Seongwu’s stomach churning in ways he will never be able to describe in words.

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah,” Seongwu smiles. “You know, I had a lot of fun that day too.”

 

Minhyun smiles, his lips forming into a pretty line. Seongwu likes that, a lot. He’s always seen Minhyun from afar but now he can finally say; Hwang Minhyun is much, much prettier up close.

 

“Thank you,” Minhyun grins. “Can I walk you back? As your friend?”

 

“You don’t have to,” Seongwu says a little too quickly. “I mean… I’m not  _that_ scared of the dark.”

 

“It’s okay, Seongwu. It’s me -  _I’m_ the one who’s afraid of the dark.”

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

“Yo, where the fuck have you been? I thought we were going to have game night?” Jaehwan calls to Daniel as soon as he opens the door. His throat is dry and he thinks he might just break down if he says anything.

 

The sound of Jaehwan munching on popcorn fills the silent room.

 

“What’s up? Hey, Niel-”

 

“I fucked up,” Daniel says. “I messed everything up. As usual.”

 

Byul noses his way into Daniel’s lap but he can only lie down on his back, ignoring his puppy licks begging Daniel for attention. God - even Byul reminds him of Jihoon.

 

And when he thinks of Jihoon he can only remember Jihoon’s face stained with tears as he smiles at Daniel while telling Daniel the answer to the question he’s been wondering about this entire time.

 

Now that he has it - is he satisfied? Nowhere near.

 

Jihoon had stormed out of the room after his big speech, and as much as Daniel tried to look for him, he made sure to hide well.

 

Jaehwan pauses his game, and awkwardly hangs by Daniel’s side.

 

“Is this about Jihoon?”

 

That’s the problem. It’s always been about Jihoon. From the start, he was unconsciously drawn to someone he never had a chance with.

 

“He talked about Minhyun.”

 

“And?” Jaehwan probes.

 

“I was wrong. All along I thought he was choosing Minhyun over me. But that’s not it - he was choosing to become better by forgetting about Minhyun. I let my jealousy get the better of me and now he’s gone. He’s gone, fucking gone.”

 

“So get him back,” Jaehwan pushes.

 

Daniel scoffs.

 

“Yeah, right. Sure.”

 

“I’m serious, you’re really going to give up on you two after finding out about what Jihoon really thought of Minhyun? Are you a fool? Because this is exactly why Jihoon walked out. You wanted the truth and you got it, and now you’re saying you won’t be able to handle it? Sounds a lot to me like you’re just scared.”

 

“Scared of what?” Daniel echoes.

 

“Losing,” Jaehwan says. “You’re scared that you’ll never be able to make Jihoon feel as good as Minhyun once did - which was one hell of a toxic relationship by the way - so you’re running. If Jihoon’s past bothers you so much then maybe you don’t deserve him at all. You two can keep running from your own problems, I’m done. Come on, Byul.”

 

Jaehwan picks the golden off Daniel’s lap and trudges back to the game corner he’s made for himself out of cushions at the corner of the room.

 

He probably needs a drink or two before he decides what to do next.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

“Can I come in?”

 

“No, can’t you see I’m busy with  _everything_?” Woojin rolls his eyes very sarcastically as he beckons for Jihoon to come in and close the door. He’s obviously doing  _nothing_ , but Jihoon has no one else to bother so he comes to Woojin.

 

Woojin moves to clear some space on the bed for Jihoon, who just stares into space.

 

“You cried,” Woojin says, very calmly.

 

Jihoon just shrugs. There’s no use denying it. His nose is red and his eyes are swollen. He tried his best to fix those before coming to Woojin but there’s nothing he can do to get rid of it.

 

“If this is a test, consider it done. Give me a face and name and I will sock him - or her - in the face,” Woojin says, cracking his knuckles.

 

“Can you punch me instead?” Jihoon laughs, but it’s not a real one. “Why was I such an idiot back then? Do you even remember who the Park Jihoon on Day 1 of college was?”

 

“I miss him,” Woojin admits. “You didn’t even know how to spell Gucci.”

 

“It’s really not spelt the way it’s pronounced,” Jihoon snaps.

 

“Jihoon, is this about Minhyun hyung?”

 

Jihoon leans his body weight against Woojin’s headboard.

 

“You should have warned me it would be a bad decision,” Jihoon says.

 

Woojin lets out a heavy high, “I did, Jihoon. I tried my best. You didn’t listen.”

 

“But he was hurting too,” Jihoon says, his eyes welling up with tears. “He was hurting so bad and I wanted to make it stop somehow - so I tried, everything. It’s not his fault, it was -”

 

_Mine_.

 

Woojin doesn’t even look the least bit surprised when the realisation dawns upon Jihoon.

 

“You knew,” Jihoon says.

 

Woojin always gets fidgety when he’s questioned, but this time, he doesn’t even blink when Jihoon stares at him, waiting for answers. The reason why Jihoon has never been able to let his past go, the reason he’s never been able to forgive Minhyun and move on - it’s because he didn’t even realise  _he_ was part of the problem.

 

“I blamed him,” Jihoon repeats. “It was me. I did this to myself, and to Minhyun hyung.”

 

“You two were disastrous together,” Woojin says. “It went both ways, and I knew you never would get over Hwang Minhyun until you saw yourself making the same mistake of hurting him over and over again.”

 

“But why?” Jihoon’s eyes pool with tears again. “You could’ve just told me. I didn’t know I was hurting him, I was just trying to be the best version of myself for him.”

 

Woojin hums, fixing the figurines on his shelf as if Jihoon isn’t going through a midlife crisis in front of him.

 

“And so was he.”

 

Jihoon’s head hurts, so he closes his eyes and wills the pain to go away. Woojin crouches down to touch his arm, signalling to Jihoon that’ he’s still here with him. It helps a little, knowing that there’s someone who understands.

 

“Look, I don’t know the whole story, I was just a close friend who observed two people who loved each other in the wrong way. But I still think there’s time to fix it, there’s still time for you to fix _yourself_ ,” Woojin says.

 

Woojin hesitates before continuing, “And… I think you have someone waiting for you, don’t you?”

 

Right. Daniel.

 

Jihoon doesn’t even know where to start with Daniel. He’s not brave enough to tell Daniel the story - the one that he swore he’d never share with anyone - because he’s afraid the only person that is standing on his side is going to leave.

 

Jihoon has been on the team that no one wants to be on before - and it sucks.

 

Is Daniel still going to be here? When he’s stripped down to nothing?

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

Three days is all Daniel can stand without having Park Jihoon by his side.

 

Whether it’s a blessing or a curse, he doesn’t care. He finds himself walking towards the swim arena without another word when he receives the text. And when he sees Jihoon sitting at the edge of the pool, he has a feeling he’s not going to like what he hears.

 

“Hi,” Jihoon manages to say when Daniel silently takes his seat beside him.

 

“Three days,” Daniel replies. “Honestly, I wasn’t even expecting you to call me back.”

 

He wasn’t expecting it to come out so cold but it does, and he can tell that Jihoon wasn’t anticipating his tone at all.

 

“I know it hasn’t been easy for you, since the first day you stepped into campus and I’m not going to lie - I’m probably 90% of the reason why,” Jihoon sighs. “I wasn’t nice to you, I forced my feelings onto you even without properly sorting them out - and now I’m here, expecting you to forgive me.”

 

Daniel doesn’t say a word, allowing Jihoon the space and time he needs to gather his thoughts. It’s obvious he’s hesitated long enough to say these things.

 

“My feelings for you are real,” Jihoon says, his fingers inching their way towards Daniel’s palm. “And I know - because I’ve never felt this way for anyone else.”

 

Daniel knows he’s holding back by not saying Minhyun’s name, and it honestly feels a lot worse when he does that. It’s like he doesn’t think Daniel can handle the sound of his ex’s name.

 

But he can’t deny that it stirs something in his chest, something ugly and it makes him want to keep Jihoon away forever, locked up, away from Minhyun. And that wouldn’t be fair.

 

He takes a deep breath, “I think the reason I acted out is because I knew I would never be good enough for you. Someone like you deserves the top, and it’s not me. It’s never going to be me.”

 

_Right?_

 

Jihoon’s phone buzzes once, then twice, and then a few more times, until Daniel has to sneak a glance at his brightened screen just to see who could be

 

It’s Minhyun.

 

“Right?” Daniel repeats, moving his arm away from Jihoon.

 

Jihoon flips his phone over in an attempt to get it out of the way, but Minhyun starts to call.

 

“ _Niel_ ,” Jihoon pleads, the one word of his carrying a thousand other things he just can’t voice aloud, and Daniel doesn’t want himself to fall again.

 

Once was enough.

 

“Please just take the call, Jihoonie” Daniel says. “It could be something important.”

 

Jihoon holds Daniel’s stare for three seconds, as if assessing whether Daniel is merely testing him, but the second he swipes the button and holds the phone to his ear, Daniel knows he’s lost another battle.

 

He can’t even look at Jihoon when he’s taking the call from Minhyun.

 

It’s past twelve midnight, what could an ex-boyfriend ever want right now?

 

“I have to go.”

 

Daniel could say a lot of things right now. Something sarcastic, something angry and something to make Jihoon feel bad about leaving him behind but it just doesn’t make sense. Jihoon is his friend, and friends don’t hurt each other.

 

So he says the thing he’s been holding back from saying.

 

“Don’t go, Jihoon.”

 

Because if he works hard enough, he can pretend that he doesn’t know anything. If Jihoon just chooses to stay, Daniel can try and pretend like this is all okay.

 

He just doesn’t want to lose - not this time.

 

“I have to,” Jihoon seems panicked, his eyes unfocused and his fingers haphazardly grabbing his jacket from behind. “I want to explain everything, I do. I just need to do one thing first.”

 

“Haven’t I waited long enough?” Daniel’s swallows the lump in his throat to fight back.

 

He can tell it dawns on Jihoon that he has to choose.

 

“Please?”

 

“I will come back, I promise,” Jihoon says, then sprints out of the arena.

 

After that, all Daniel hears is the sound of Jihoon sneakers echoing in the background, mocking him for the failure he’s always been.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

Minhyun likes to tap his pen, or pencil, on the table when he’s concentrating very hard on a math problem. And Seongwu just really likes to stare.

 

“This is just impossible. Are you sure your teacher said there was nothing wrong with the question? Because there’s only one way my answer can be correct and that is because the question is wrong.”

 

Seongwu has to hold himself back from laughing out loud because they’re in the library.

 

“You’re always right, Mr Smarty Pants,” Seongwu rolls his eyes. “Give that back, you’re no help.”

 

“I top the level every time,” Minhyun growls, holding the paper down so Seongwu can’t take it back. “I will solve this question.”

 

“Sure, just make sure to give it back to me by sunrise,” Seongwu snorts.

 

Apparently, this library thing came about because Minhyun couldn’t stop teasing Seongwu for being afraid of the dark, and Seongwu refuses to let Minhyun walk him back every night.

 

(Because it’s embarrassing, and Seongwu doesn’t need that kind of stress in his life.)

 

So they came to a conclusion: they should study together, and walk back together to the dorms so no one gets scared by people with chainsaws hiding behind bushes. It’s Minhyun’s fear, not his.

 

Sometimes, like now, it still feels surreal that they’ve gotten this far in so little time. Slowly, the image of Minhyun being the university’s golden boy is being stripped away and replaced by a regular boy that gets especially frustrated when someone doesn’t put the library books back in order.

 

One time, Minhyun even did the night librarian’s job for her. It was hilarious.

 

Seongwu knows it’s dangerous - collecting these little golden nuggets on someone he’s had a crush on for the longest time. There’s no way he’s ever going to tell Minhyun, so nothing has to change right now.

 

He’s just scared he won’t be able to control his feelings, not now, or ever.

 

Seongwu almost jumps out of his seat when Minhyun rests his hand on his, saying, “Hey, should we run to the convenience store and get some snacks? I think I’ll be able to solve this for you once I get a bit of sugar in my system.”

 

Blushing furiously, Seongwu pulls his hand away and can hardly think up a response before Minhyun’s phone lights up.

 

“It’s my dad,” Minhyun frowns. “I’ll go take the call, then we can go to the store, alright?”

 

He doesn’t even wait for Seongwu to answer him before picking up his phone and relocating to somewhere else more private. Seongwu’s eyes follow him until he disappears behind the bookshelves, where they previously made fun of books in the sex ed genre.

 

Apparently, Hwang Minhyun finds it hilarious that there are books that try to teach college kids how to have safe sex. Seongwu thought it was very necessary. Minhyun asked him why, and he just turned red.

 

That’s when Seongwu knows he has to stop everything about this so-called friendship with Minhyun, before anyone else gets hurt.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

**Hwang Minhyun [12:30am]**

_Same place and time tomorrow? We haven’t met this week, are you busy?_

 

**Ong Seongwu [12:32am]**

_Sorry, promised Jaehwan I’d study with him._

 

**Hwang Minhyun [12:33am]**

_Oh, okay._

_I solved that question, by the_   _way. Want to see how I did it?_

 

Minhyun finds his legs shaking unconsciously while he waits for a reply from Seongwu. He chews on his bottom lip, heart growing more anxious by the minute. He doesn’t know when, or how, they had become so close.

 

It just happened.

 

Minhyun wasn’t planning on meeting Seongwu ever again after that one time he paid Seongwu back by buying lunch. Neither was he planning on asking Seongwu to be “friends”. And he sure wasn’t planning on waiting on a text from someone he barely knows.

 

**Ong Seongwu [12:40am]**

_It’s okay, I solved it._

_It’s late, I’m going to sleep, Minhyun. You should rest too._

 

Minhyun swallows the lump that has formed in his throat nervously. It’s been ages since he’s felt like this. And he doesn’t want to admit it, but this sure as hell reminds him of Jihoon, whom he hasn’t spoken to in a while.

 

It just hurts a lot. And he was counting on Seongwu to make it better because that boy carries a certain kind of magic in his smile that has Minhyun feeling at the top of the world. There’s really no other way to describe that feeling.

 

His feet bring him to his locked drawer, and his fingers find the keys hidden in one of the cases on the table easily. It’s been a while, but Minhyun just needs a little getaway. Just enough to get through today.

 

He opens the drawer, and finds it empty.

 

Fuck, he’d totally forgotten he had thrown it out last week.

 

_It’s okay, it’s okay,_ Minhyun tells himself. He just needs to calm down, take a few breaths and drink a cup of water. Maybe even get a little fresh air. He just needs to stop thinking about it.

 

The migraine sitting at the back of his head is threatening to spill out anytime, and Minhyun recognises the familiar feeling of nausea. His heart only sinks when he realises he can’t call for Jihoon like before - it wouldn’t be fair to put Jihoon through that, not again.

 

Only one person that stands on Minhyun’s side wouldn’t judge him for this.

 

At the very least, he hopes not.

 

**Hwang Minhyun [1:00am]**

_Seongwu, can you come over?_

_Please?_

_It’s important._

 

He waits, but the text never comes. He can’t call his parents, they’ll kill him. He can’t tell anyone in this school because no one really cares for him that way, just like he never cared for anyone.

 

Feeling a sense of panic rise up in his chest, Minhyun gets desperate and dials Seongwu’s number, hoping the other will pick up and he can somehow convince Seongwu to come over.

 

All he needs is for someone to be with him so that he doesn’t lose his mind.

 

But even after five dials, Seongwu doesn’t pick up. He must be asleep.

 

Minhyun really, really doesn’t want to, but he’s so pathetic the only other person he can ask for help is the ex-boyfriend who hates him to the core. As tears from the sheer pain of his headache start to fall from his cheeks, he dials the number he knows by heart.

 

Just when he thinks that Jihoon has given up on him as well, his call gets picked up.

 

“Jihoonie? I’m really sorry to be calling you so late, I swear - I never would have. I don’t want to hurt you any longer but can you please just come over? My head hurts and I’m really scared right now. Please?”

 

All he gets is a dead phone line in return.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

Jihoon knows he’s going to pay. It’s heaven testing him but this is his last chance to make things right. He’s going to regret it if he doesn’t.

 

He bursts into Minhyun’s room, scanning for the person he’s looking for, and his heart drops when he sees a figure curled up in bed.

 

“Hyung? Hyung, hyung,” Jihoon pleads, rolling Minhyun over and finding him drenched in sweat. “I’m here, hey. Minhyun hyung, open your eyes, please?”

 

All the memories come flooding back in an instant.

 

The sterile smell of the hospital, their parents looking at Jihoon in disgust, and Minhyun’s almost lifeless body on the bed. It’s almost all too familiar.

 

“Hyung, please tell me you didn’t-” Jihoon shakes Minhyun again.

 

When he opens his eyes, Jihoon almost cries out of sheer relief.

 

“I didn’t,” Minhyun chokes out. “I threw the pills out last week. But now it hurts, because my head feels weird and I need them  _back_.”

 

It’s not a privilege to be the only one who has seen Minhyhun like this - twice.

 

“It’s going to be okay,” Jihoon says, shifting himself on the bed so that he’s holding Minhyun tight in his arms - and he realises the other is shaking, from fear or the cold, he doesn’t know. “I’m here, okay?”

 

Minhyun nods weakly, whispering, “I’m really sorry. I’m supposed to be strong, I don’t know how it came back but it did. I’m sorry it has to be you everytime, I’m really, really, sorry.”

 

Somehow, it doesn’t feel like Minhyun is apologising just for this.

 

“Shh,” Jihoon hushes, trying to calm Minhyun down. “We can talk later. Just… do whatever you need to do. Cry, whatever. I won’t judge. I’ll just be here,  _like I should have been back then._ ”

 

Minhyun doesn’t seem to hear the last part, but from the way he grabs onto Jihoon’s sweater tightly in his fists, Jihoon thinks he understands.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

Seongwu’s been lying. A lot. To one person in particular.

 

On Monday, it was because he was too tired. On Tuesday, it was because he had to meet a professor. On Wednesday, Minhyun was the one who was busy - so that was a relief on his part. He’s running out of excuses, and he doesn’t think he’s ever going to tell Minhyun the truth.

 

Truth is - he’s falling for Minhyun, hard. And not just in the stupid crush kind of way.

 

It’s actually serious - real feelings that he wishes he could rip out of his chest and never feel again because damn, real feelings hurt a lot.

 

So when Minhyun texts him again, he uses Jaehwan as the next excuse. On one hand, he feels guilty for making use of his snoring roommate but on the other, he’s just protecting himself.

 

He lies to Minhyun that he needs to sleep, although he’d much rather stay up all night talking to Minhyun about anything under the sky.

 

That’s the thing with Minhyun - for someone as elite as Hwang Minhyun, you’d think he’d be unapproachable and cold - but he’s really nothing like that. He’s a great listener, which Seongwu appreciates because he rambles a lot.

 

**Hwang Minhyun [1:00am]**

_Seongwu, can you come over?_

_Please?_

_It’s important._

 

He has a feeling Minhyun knows about  _his feelings._

 

It almost feels like he would be the type to want to talk about it, establish boundaries and all. And Seongwu’s a hypocrite, because while he doesn’t want to get too close to Minhyun, he’s also unwilling to let go of him completely.

 

_Selfish_ , Seongwu chides himself.

 

His heart races again when Minhyun calls, and he  _never_ calls. It sounds like something important and Seongwu just cannot allow himself to let go of all his logic when it comes to Minhyun. He knows he’s going to get hurt in the end - so why even bother?

 

But feelings are a really funny thing.

 

Because after four more missed calls, Seongwu doesn’t want to listen to his brain anymore. He wants to follow his heart, even if it’s going to get trampled on in the end.

 

Minhyun makes it sound like he  _needs_ Seongwu. And Seongwu easily believes that.

 

He gets his coat, and tiptoes out of the room so he doesn’t wake Jaehwan.

  
  
  
  
  


〰️

 

 

 

Minhyun’s door is left slightly ajar.

 

His heart fills with hope and excitement that maybe Minhyun was waiting for him. It scares him that things are moving so fast but Seongwu desperately craves some human connection. He’s willing to do anything - just to be close to Minhyun.

 

He peeks in, and all the hope from before is instantly filled with dread.

 

Seongwu doesn’t have the best eyesight, but he can clearly see two people in the room - and he can also very clearly identify them as Minhyun and Jihoon.

 

Although he cannot hear anything they are saying, he’s obviously intruding on something very intimate between the two.

 

_“You see, Daniel, the two of them have a history that neither you and me can ever give to them, nor can anyone else they encounter in this lifetime. They are planets that cannot co-exist without the other. But you and me- we’re not a part of that. And we will never be.”_

 

Maybe it’s time Seongwu starts taking his own advice - because Minhyun definitely doesn’t need him, not now, and not anytime soon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welp. this has been the longest update of overboard so far with 9k plus words? to me, it looks like a giant word blub that i'm not sure how i put out but i'm happy i pushed through and managed to cook up something :)
> 
> i have hwangwink's backstory planned for the next chap, and more nielwink, and onghwang for sure.
> 
> for now, if you liked this chapter, i always appreciate comments because they actually did motivate me to update :D
> 
> till the next chapter, please take care of yourselves! <3


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